"Fears and Their Flames" | Poems, 019

in #poetry6 years ago

Fears and Their Flames

 
Backspacing only happens at the lack of self-honesty,
So be true,
To your thoughts and feelings;
Stop fearing.
 
But I am afraid -
Of losing her,
Of not knowing more of her,
Of never holding her in my arms,
Of an apathetic labyrinth,
Of disappointing her.
 
Slight smiles seem to mock me,
Their lines conveying notions of cynicism,
Desperation and ridicule their laughter,
Loitering in my mind.
 
My only defense: A logged history,
Of great conversation,
Beautiful moments shared,
Longing and persistence,
And sometimes, perhaps,
A small degree of blind faith.
 
-§-
 
Hours pass and...
 
Her piercing gaze takes sway,
Allaying my trembling heart,
The dead eyes of those around her,
Emphasise the longing alive in her own,
In search of what I,
From the start,
Have sought to be:
The flames of the funeral pyre of her fears and loneliness.
 
Again, I fear disappointing her.
 
Morpheus beckons,
And I will gladly follow,
For presently, it is in his land alone that I,
Am able to be with her.
 
Soon...
Soon...
Soon.
 
Goodnight, my love.

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This is the third poem of the three about my last relationship...
 
There came a time when things were looking grim. I still hadn't found a means of extra income, so getting to Brazil to visit her was looking less and less likely. We'd even had a fight about it all; our first fight.
 
I remember the night clearly, when I wrote this. It had been raining all day (miserable all-day rain, not the flash thunderstorms that I so enjoy...) and I just felt so helpless and useless. All I knew was that she existed out there, she loved me, and I would find a way to get to her. But in the meantime, I had to wait, with only my own mind for company. It was agonising.
 
Oh! I forgot about including a Song of the Day in my other posts! ... Well, today's is an easy choice:
 
Song of the Day: I Am Kloot - Same Deep Water As Me

 
Also, here is the poem as it was originally written:




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