THE AGONY OF BETRAYAL

in #poetry5 years ago


PIXABAY

My heart is failing
It hurts to be stabbed
Stabbed directly into the heart
I did see it all coming
It was all bright and glaring

My thoughts are no longer the same
It has been taken away by a great sadness
Sadness, regrets and pains is all in my head
My thoughts have been clouded with regrets
My pains are internal and can't been seen with the physical eyes
My heart keeps bleeding internally

The clock keeps ticking but I am too blind to see it
If only it was possible to turn the hands of time
If only it's possible I could bring back the past
If only it was possible... that's all in my head
I wish I took time seriously and utilize it's value when I could
I can only wish and wish

I have been betrayed
I don't trust anyone anymore
If she could fail me why will the others not do same?
They say I'm shutting everyone out, if only they know
If only they know I have been stabbed right in my chest

PIXABAY
I can perceive the stench of betrayal
It's all around me no matter what I do
I have tried so hard to stay away from it but it seems my "hard" isn't enough
My eye lids close and the tears flow down freely, each time I remember the betrayal
My heart keeps breaking
It's almost in pieces.

I don't only wish to go backward
I also wish my memories could be wiped off
I wished it could all be gone
I wished I can just stop remembering me that I failed
I failed myself
I used my own hands to stabbed myself in the heart
I saw it all
It was so glaring to me
I betrayed myself

It's a self-betrayal
A self-destruction
I had the opportunity to make it better
It was all in my hands but I crumbled it into pieces
Regrets have overshadowed me
I only hope I don't end up being a failure
I just pray for the grace to fight and overcome my limitations
I failed myself but I don't want to be a failure.

I can only but plead to myself to not make me a failure
I can only but fight against my bad sides
I can only but set my goals and work towards it
I can only but blame myself for my past
But I got to make my future worth it
I got to make it bright
Yeah, I betrayed myself
I did fail myself
But I'm working not to make myself a failure.


Thanks you for reading

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