Sometimes... #Prose

Sometimes I wonder why
Why I for one live like tiptoing spy
Why I can't afford to love anyone yet
Will I even love my future pets?

Sometimes I understand why
Why I ended up this broken
Why some things can never be spoken
But is this how I really want to all die?

Sometimes I guess why
Why I am so disconnected
Why I can't be easily reconnected
Bet I am yet to eat the forgiveness pie.

Sometimes I think that
Red should represent my sins less
My blood harbours too much darkness
I still don't know where my redemption at.

Sometimes I chose to indulge
Deep in the pits of unresolved pain
Weep to escape it all again
Ask not where I keep the urge.

Sometimes I punish my soul
Denying it the peace it deserves
Refusing the love it readily serves
Now I am here dealing with this hole.

Sometimes I feel the weight
The heaviness of my own racing thoughts
Ruthlessly tying my spirit up in knots
Till depression has me as bait.

(Captured a few months back in one of our Coaching sessions by the organisation I work for.)

Actively looking for self. They say that total freedom is a daily battle internally and externally. We can never experience it unless we learn to find ourselves. I am on a journey to total freedom and acknowledging my present demons is a significant component of this pilgrimage. Won't you walk with me?

                         **Cross Posted**

BQ.