Unpreparedness: A perfectly legitimate state of being for today's modern victim

I've been gradually writing some posts about preparedness over the last few months; I guess one could also call it awareness although no matter what name it's given it provides the individual with a greater list of options in an emergency situation and the the best chance at knowing what to do and when, and conversely what not to do. I am a prepared sort of guy and my wife, by default, is prepared; Be it first aid, fire evacuation plan, outback survival, gun safety, civil unrest or any of the many reasons to be prepared we have some ideas about it or have at least thought about it. To me it seems logical in the world we live in. I don't have a bunker or 3 years worth of supplies or anything like that (and wouldn't tell you if I did) however I would say that I have some solid strategies for various eventualities.

Now, having said that my posts on preparedness have received mixed responses from positive, negative and a few advising me that there is no need to be prepared because the government and authorities will take care of everyone in the advent of a situation. Considering this I thought it might be a good idea to write a post for those individuals who don't feel the need to be prepared. So, this is a basic guide to un-preparedness in todays modern world. Enjoy. image source

"Plan to be UNprepared" the credo of the unprepared person.

Household fire evacuation plan: Make sure you do not have an evacuation plan. In the advent of a fire, started by an electrical fault, faulty appliance, dropped cigarette, cooking or simple carelessness, have no plan at all. Make sure you have no early warning system in the form of an audible smoke alarm, do not know your escape routes and have nothing prepared at all. That way, if your house catches fire you will be completely UNprepared for it, will possibly lose everything you have including your life and if you do escape you won't have any insurance to rebuild. Perfectly unprepared. Awesome!

*Medical emergencies: Any self-respecting UNprepared person will have no clue on the process around a medical emergency, no first aid plan or equipment and no discipline around the correct actions to take. A perfect example would be not knowing how to administer CPR to a drowning victim in a back yard swimming pool or at the beach. Simply sit back and watch your loved one drown whilst waiting for the government and authorities to come to their aid. Simple! Another medical emergency which is perfect not to be prepared for is cuts and lacerations in the home; You know, when you're cutting that crusty bread to make some bruschetta and you slip and almost take your finger off? In this case the appropriate action for the UNprepared person is to run around the house spurting blood everywhere whilst trying to stem the flow of life's blood gushing from the wound. There won't be a first aid kit so therefore no appropriate way to actually deal with the incident in true UNprepared-person-style. Again, exquisitely UNprepared.

Home invasion and security: Staying with the home theme here the dedicated UNprepared person must never have any concept around home security or understanding of scenario's like home invasion. The UNprepared person should have no plan around waking in the middle of the night to find an intruder stealing their shit, creeping into the kids bedroom or holding the family hostage and brutalising them. To be prepared would be contradictory to the code-of-conduct of the UNprepared person and besides, the government and authorities will look after them right? Simply elementary. The UNprepared person will never lock doors when inside the house or have security systems or panic alarms. They will have no fake wallet, credit cards, jewellery and small change handy to hand over to the intruder. Instead they will have car keys, wallets, credit cards and the like sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter or side stand within easy reach. Monumentally UNprepared in true UNprepared-person style. Full marks given on this one UNprepared dude!

Natural and man made disaster: No one can really predict when an earthquake, flood, tsunami, cyclone, hurricane, volcano, violent demonstration, power outage, war, famine, wildfire, disease outbreak of general civil unrest may happen however the UNprepared person has no need to worry. They will simply wait for the government and authorities to save the day. It doesn't matter if the government and authorities have caused the issue in the first place (think military coup), they will simply save the day right? The UNprepared person will take full advantage of these situations to aimlessly wander the streets with no way to defend themselves and no plan, sit back looking in an empty pantry or refrigerator for food to magically appear, walk around the house flicking light switches on and off to see if the electricity fairy's have reinstated the power and generally act in a befuddled, manner. This is of course a perfect time for the UNprepared to combine their level of disaster-UNpreparedness with their home-invasion UNpreparedness as it is possible that they may get a visit from an unwanted house-caller.

So, there you have it, an introduction to the exciting world of UNpreparedness. It's actually really easy to be an UNprepared person; One just needs to do nothing except place complete faith in other people to save the day. They are confident in the police, paramedics and fire department turning up with a 3 second response time. Totally legit. They also know that if there was a natural disaster aid would come pouring in (immediately) from somewhere. Why store additional water or food when someone else will provide it for you? It's just a waste of space and time.

The UNprepared person lives in a world in which no one dies as a result of a medical emergency, in which anything one could ever need is just a held-out-hand away and in which bad things never happen. It's a lovely world. Champagne falls from the sky instead of rain, and it falls perfectly into glasses from which they then drink from. They are surrounded by the happy presence of rainbow unicorn butterfly kittens singing Celine Dion songs as minstrels strum along with their harps and trill on their flutes. There's no need to worry about anything because little blue Smurfs take care of everything including tending the trees from which the money grows. It's an idyllic world in which no one eats animal products and everyone has a bathroom of their own. No two sexes here, everyone can have their own gender.

Why would anyone ever want to sully their hands with such a useless and meaningless task as being prepared for anything bad in a world like that? It just doesn't make any sense does it. Why be a prepared person when it's so easy to be an UNprepared sheep...I mean person.

Anyway, I know there's some value here in this post; Some excellent tips on UNpreparedness and that there's plenty of sheeple out there already formulating their plans to be UNprepared. Just remember, the most important plan an UNprepared person can make is the plan to be unprepared.

[- Vincit qui se vincit - @galenkp -]