Why People Hurt/Hate Other People and What To Do About It

So tell me, do you know why you hate who (or what) you hate? Do you know why you are hurt by other people? Are you aware why you or they are doing it?

Here are some of the reasons why we hate or hurt others, not in any particular order.

Tell me which one you recognize.

• You're a power tripper.

• You have a different belief system.

• You have weaknesses/insecurities. _{Or you're super sensitive or worse, a cry baby?}

• You only know how to hate/hurt others.¹ _{(Due to psychopathy or childhood abuse, social/cultural influence etc.)}

• You don't want to be the only one hurting.

• You have physiological damage/s or abnormalities.² _{(Includes sociopathy, hormonal problems etc.)}

• You want to protect/take care of those who cannot protect themselves.³

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Hate is a cultural and historical thing. If you read the Bible it already has some hatred (and deceit) in there even during the early days of man (OId Testament). Hate, like love, can be passed on to other people too, it can be easier to do such these days because of social media.⁴

_(source)

Here's why people will be hating on you.

• You are uncontrollable.
They cannot make you do what they want you to do.

• You have what others lack.
You have money, power, talent, beauty etc., making you seem superior to others. People want what they don't have. It's always greener on the other side.

• You are hard to understand.
You are doing the opposite of what others like or believe in. They don't know what you know so they will hate you or ridicule and laugh at you for doing the things you do. People fear what they do not understand.⁵ When we are afraid we do a lot of irrational things to other people.

• You made other people feel weak, helpless and/or insignificant.
This is the most common reason. You most likely made other people feel less than what or who they think they are, or that what they are doing is/was wrong and/or you are abusive and aggressive to others.

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Sounds familiar?

What can you do to end the cycle of hate and pain?

• Change yourself. You can't change other people, you can only change yourself. Change starts within each one of us. When we decide to change for the better that's when the world begins to change.

• Turn the other cheek, but do not let yourself be abused either. It is hard to forgive but it's a relief once we've finally done it.

• Master your mind, master your emotions. If you can meditate to have a better outlook in life then go ahead and do it. Also be mindful of your actions and be understanding of others.

• Be charismatic, generous and helpful to everyone because we are all connected in some way whether we like it or not.

• Seek and Provide help and guidance. Read the Bible or other religious doctrines with a grain of salt. Do your due diligence and research online to find credible sources and people who can help you change for the better.

Some people do bad things as a cry for help. People do bad things because something is wrong with them. If we can look past the hate and pain perhaps we can also offer our help to those who do bad so they can improve themselves.

• Do charity work or support organizations that do good.
You'll never know what kind of bad behavior will be curtailed when someone receives free food, free clothes or free education etc. I realize this is why Jesus advocated doing good deeds to our fellowmen, it helps curtail future crimes or bad behavior, etc.

People who are grateful for the help they receive whether unexpectedly or not tend to pay things forward without hesitation. Why? Because they know how it feels like to receive good graces when they needed it the most and thus they also do the same for others.

You can watch this video too to know more about this topic.

To end the cycle of hate, hurt and pain, we must transform ourselves into better people everyday.

I know it is hard to not retaliate when someone hurts us. It is hard to understand other people especially when they hurt us and/or our family members too (whether deliberately or not). It is hard to live a human life but we must try our best to be better people everyday. Changing ourselves into better human beings take a lot of time and effort. It might take longer than 21 days⁶ to completely change any habit, what more if it is an ingrained behavior?

_{If we think of it this way, we're no different to addicts trying to get rid of their addiction. Hey wait, we might be hate addicts!!! Whoa, we need some major intervention!}

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I am not one to say changing ourselves is easy because it is hard to do without the proper tools or the right people. If you've read my post on mental health, most if not all of those listed in the how-to tips are used to change negative behavior into good and positive ones.

Change can be hard when you need to discard a lot of people or things to be a better person too. We are all affected by our thoughts, emotions and environment/society we're in. We are all irrational when it comes to triggered feelings. I can only pray to have even a little bit of the same mind mastery and skills/knowledge of the enlightened ones like Jesus, Buddha and others. It is tough to be a saint and also hard to be a hero fighting for all that is good.

The good people are mostly persecuted by the evil in this world. They are ridiculed, insulted, shamed and looked down upon by other people. This is why good people are afraid to be good or fight back because we all want to live longer. All I can say is, we are all responsible for ourselves and others.

We may try to be the hero (and do everything on our own or not) but we can be hated on and get into disagreements because of it. Unfortunately not everyone wants to be saved and helped, some prefer to suffer needlessly. There will always be people who think they don't deserve goodness or happiness.

Also however good our intentions may be, there will be people who only see personal opportunities and disregard the negative implications of any of their actions to others. We think more on Win-Lose rather than Win-Win. This has been going on for centuries but perhaps if the change to goodness starts within us everyday then I believe the world will be a better place indeed.

_(source)

It is hard to always be good. It is most definitely not easy to have a lot of influence like celebrities or politicians and be a role model to others but remember this: Whatever we do is up to us and not anyone else. We decide ultimately on the actions we take. It is our souls that will rot in hell if we do bad things to others. Or we will go to heaven if we are brave enough to follow Jesus, the other enlightened ones or even the heroes in doing good and helping others.

Depending on what we believe in, let us live human lives where in the end we can say, we did our best in everything and let God or the universe do the rest.

_{We can do this! Even if it is hard, let's do it! Aja!}

_{(growthmindsetmemes)}

Want a song about love instead? Here you go!

XOXO,
@artgirl

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_{Resources:
Psychology Today: ¹ Robert J Landy Ph.D. Oct 26, 2017 ; ⁵ Allison Abrams, LCSW-R, Mar 9, 2017
Scientific American, ² Katherine Harmon, Aug 19, 2009 ; ³ R. Douglas Fields, Nov 10, 2016 ; ⁴ Larry Greenemeier, May 24, 2017
Huffington Post, ⁶ James Clear, Jun 10, 2014}

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© Art x Stephanie Rue

@artgirl is a freelance artist and also a sales person. Currently an agent for resort-type condo communities in Metro Manila.

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