Gaslighting is ABUSE, You NEED to Understand it!! + UPDATE on my Recent Health Crisis

This post will serve a dual purpose to educate you all on a very important issue that law enforcement currently does not do ANYTHING about.

Secondarily, I wish to update you all on my recent and ongoing health crisis, as referenced in this post:
https://steemit.com/help/@chelsea88/steemit-i-really-need-your-help-i-am-facing-some-dire-situations
ALSO, THANK YOU SO MUCH STEEMIT. THE GENEROSITY BLOWS ME AWAY, I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THIS KIND OF SUPPORT!!!!! I am rarely speechless, but I am now....!

I'll talk about gaslighting first which is usually a silent form of abuse, which works well for the abuser. It's actually worse than physical abuse in my opinion and I have been on the receiving end of BOTH. As I have said, law enforcement doesn't care. If you don't have a black eye, they don't give a flying f*ck. They just tell you go get a protection order which could take two weeks to obtain.

I'd know as I've consulted an officer twice over the phone. Gaslighting is a severe form of emotional, mental, controlling, manipulative, and verbal abuse. My first picture is what I came home today of a birthday card I gave my ex that he left all ripped up like that just to be nasty. Very triggering considering.......

My Dad was the same way but also physically abusive. He would slip suicide notes under my door at night. He'd write with red lipstick on the bathroom mirror that my Mom killed him. It was so bad as a pre teen & teen I almost called the cops but was too scared they wouldn't listen and me, my siblings, and Mom would get beaten or get to watch Dad rip the house apart.

Oftentimes, the VERY negative aspects of relationships with gaslighters sneak up on you. They can be extremely charming and charismatic. Slowly you'll start getting nasty snippets from them. These individuals often have mental or personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, as nothing is their fault (one of the signs of a gaslighter), they usually don't seek help for their problems and blame you for them instead. That's what my Dad did and my now ex does. For reference, I myself have cPTSD, MDD, & GAD, doesn't mean I get to treat people like shit.

It starts off seeming "normal." You'll think, oh they must've just had a really bad day and blow it off. Once the abuser knows they can get away with the small stuff, it's just going to get worse......

Yep that's right, he broke the chain lock, claims I purposefully locked him out when we had made a previous agreement to text each other when we were leaving so THAT THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN.

Had he approached this situation logically he could've called the after hours maintenance or caretaker for assist as I sleep with earplugs and couldn't hear him knocking. These phone numbers are posted above the mail boxes about 10 feet from our apartment door. Think much??

I fixed the lock & went to work. He removed it while I was at work, without telling me. He did send a nasty email stating:
"The chain does not relate to safety. I was able to render it useless and I am not strong."
This apartment complex has issues with theft and lock picking so, yeah............ use your brain much, "buddy"??

We have been BROKEN UP, but still cohabiting until I can leave on the Nov 29th. Why the 29th? Because my job requires 30 days professional notice. I'll get back to that in the second part of this post about my health.

HERE'S THE WARNING SIGNS YOU'VE GOT A GASLIGHTER ON YOUR HANDS.

1. Frequently plays dumb & pretends not to understand or refuses to listen. Ex. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “i don't understand"

2. Causes you to question your own sanity. by questioning the victim’s memory of events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. Ex. “you're a liar", "it's all been lies"

3. Frequent changing of subject particularly when presented with FACT. If you're a cardiac surgeon, they'll question your knowledge on the heart. Ex: " i've never heard that study" , "i don't believe in placebo double blind studies" etc etc

4. Trivializing - they attempt to make your thoughts or feelings insignificant or "not important enough"

5. This is a BIG one. Frequent and "convenient" "forgetting" or flat out denial of ACTUAL EVENTS. Ex. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or " that doesn't relate to the conversation" ( when it does), “You’re just making stuff up.”

6. Can cause you to constantly second-guess yourself.

7. You often feel confused and even crazy.

8. You find your partner blames you for everything so you have to be the "sorry one".

9. You aren't happy!

10. You find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.

11. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses...... which means you'll continually to silently suffer. So be like me, DON'T!

I REFUSE TO BE CONTROLLED BY SOMEONE WHO WANTS ME AS MISERABLE AS THEY ARE

1. You know something is terribly wrong, but find it very difficult to vocalize
2. You often try to make yourself believe things are better than they actually are
3. You have trouble making simple decisions. Work becomes much more difficult. Health conditions worsen.
4. You know that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
5. You feel as though you can’t do anything right and worthless.

So there's the fairly comprehensive list that you can expect to receive from the narcissistic gaslighter.
For additional info visit:
https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-gaslighting/
There's even a support line I may end up calling. You know it's REALLY bad when you have to sleep with a barricaded door (there's also boxes there.)

Or when you get highly coincidental security alerts from the IP of the computer in your room:

Hmmmmmmmm.

So I did the right thing and have called the property caregiver, property manager, and police about the removal of the lock. They will be addressing it tomorrow.

Adults can be civil and COMMUNICATE even if things are going "their way." Boohoo. Go grab a pacifier.

I just keep reminding myself it will get better. He doesn't control me.

As for my health, I informed the Steemit community I was in desperate need of financial assistance in the above mentioned post from five days ago. The INCREDIBLE outpouring from the community has brought me to tears!! I'm not used to being treated so kindly. In my 30 years, I've come to expect the worst from people, as that's mostly all I've received, thanks for proving me wrong Steemit!

I wore a cardiac monitor for 24 hrs last Monday and visited my PCP this Monday for f/u. The results were mostly okay. There were some abnormalities particularly at 2 am it wasn't a flat line but for two minutes it was something like this:

Means the heart slowed WAYYYYY down for no reason for two minutes. Very rough and non scientific drawing, don't judge, lol.

I was put on a work restriction.

Blood tests up next then MRI. Luckily 30 hrs and up is considered full time in my company in order to maintain my benefit status. I'm hourly, not salary so I will miss the income.

I had started a go fund me a few days back, any spare pennies are APPRECIATED!
https://www.gofundme.com/dire-need-for-assist-to-relocate
I actually went around the common areas of the apartment and my car and collected all the spare pennies, dimes, nickles I could find and got $14.90 from that.

I'm very fortunate to have already located a home to rent in Columbus, Georgia via my awesome Mom's connections.

Your generosity is helping me get into this home and afford all the gas for the 18 hr drive, food for me and my cats, reinstating my GA physical therapy license, deposit fees, a washer & dryer for the rental home, etc etc etc.

Fortunately, the landlord seems to have a lot of respect for my Mother and is accepting the deposit & giving me keys on the 9th when I visit Columbus, Georgia. My company has an opening 5 minutes from the home. I've been interviewed and as I'd be an internal transfer and as I have nearly 6 years of experience, they are bringing me on and I will do another informal interview on the 9th as well.

Thanks for being there for me Steemit!! And for reading this!! Would love to hear from you in the comments, any thoughts or advice welcome and appreciated BIG time!


https://discord.gg/rEV3mF