The Art of Quitting: Giving Something Your Best... and Getting Nothing

Growing up, many of us were taught to "do our best."

That was certainly true in our home, to the point where it was almost like a religious tenet. Somehow, it has stuck with me, and now in middle age I still feel that it's important that I do my best... when I care enough about something to become involved in it.

Summer sunset

One of the cool things about life changes and "re-inventing yourself" is that there's usually an invitation to examine your patterns and see where/if you've become trapped by any type of psychological "repetition compulsion."

That's the thing, about "doing your best."

When you do your best, invest a lot of time, effort and energy and come away with nothing... I have tended to still "stick with it," and continue doing my best.

At Some Point, You Have to QUIT...

Eventually, you do end up reaching that point where you have to make some decisions, because your life starts feeling like you keep running head first into a brick wall... only to get up, dust yourself off, and then try again... with the same result. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So I start going through the options:

One option is that I simply suck at what I am trying to do. Others make "it" look easy, but I keep failing, therefore I suck.

Another option is that I am simply doing the wrong thing. If you're 6-foot-6, trying to become a horse racing jockey is probably the wrong thing. If you have shaky clumsy hands, trying to become a neurosurgeon is probably the wrong thing.

Of course, those are nice cut and dry examples.

I think what happens to most people is the quiet discovery that no matter what you're doing, "doing your best" will still leave you feeling like a weekend jogger trying to keep up with the elite runners in the Boston Marathon.

I've done a lot of quitting because I have discovered precisely some variation of that. I have kept trying my best at a number of things and each time ended up with absolutely nothing.

Damselfly at water's edge

Quitting is Hard...

Most people find quitting hard because it tends to hold true that our environmental conditioning has taught us that quitting is actually a form of failure. And most of us are pretty loath to fail.

Most good "quits" I have done have been more self-preservation than anything else... be it the realization that I am actually working for half of minimum wage or trying to keep a friendship that keeps on demonstrating a complete lack of reciprocity.

Our "best" may be great, but it's still not enough... and so, we have find the courage to quit.

And if you tend towards perfectionism? Then it becomes even harder. And yet? Quitting is essential to your ongoing mental health.

Thanks for reading!

Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 190511 23:31 PST
1012