Sweaty palms, forehead and most probably, feet as well. That all started the moment I caught a glimpse of the reality of what it looks like down there from that glass balcony. My heart started racing and the scarf around my neck felt like it was choking me because I had a hard time breathing.
"Isn't this is why exactly you're here?", I asked myself that while I was mumbling words that probably don't make any sense to the guide. I could hear my voice echoing but I have no recollection of what I was saying. It was hard watching myself in the video I took while going through the glass balcony.
Can you blame me? That glass balcony somehow looked short and would have probably just cost me a few steps till the edge but for some reasons, my knees felt like they were absent the moment I stood on that glass and looked down. Every move was agonizing for my heart. It felt like earth was pulling me down that even my back pack felt like it doubled its weight.
Perhaps, it's because it's an unknown turf. The mind f**k was real, I could hear my mind screaming tragic thoughts; " What if it cracks while I was in the middle? What if it isn't strong enough to get the hold of me? Hurry! Walk to the edge and run back to where you came from before it drops!" Yes, all that and many other exaggerated tragic nonsense!
I made it through one and was there for at least almost five minutes according to the footage. Seriously? "You should have at least sat there and read a book, make the most of it, like you always tell yourself!"; because it was actually a privilege I got to be up there that day! Talk about wasted chance! .
Well, the guy took me to the other side which I wasn't aware of its existence. Apparently there is that, as well. Odd that it looks exactly the same and is on the opposite wing but it felt different going through it. Somehow, I was confident enough that it won't drop me so I pulled off that lava walk and stood fearless at the edge, look down below and could finally think straight, I could even tell what's on the horizon while everything was rather vague when I was on the other side. It even took me too long to recognize one of my favorite cartoon characters when I was a kid but not on this one. I finally looked down and enjoyed the view around me after almost dropping my phone from my selfie stick which I probably have accidentally loosen up, out of all the panic on the other side.
I wonder what made me so afraid of heights when I love seeing how the world looks so different up there. Yes, I love being up there and it was a lot easier in the Philippines cause I just had to take the lift to the rooftop of some skyscrapers I have access to. What happened to me in the past that must have cause me to uncontrollably tremble every time I step on glass balconies? What's with the thrill of being able to do it despite going through all - what seems to feel like self inflicted torture?
I only remember one of my aunt's stories about the slit of a scar that was on one of my eyebrows. According to her, a neighbor accidentally dropped me off a guava branch before I could even walk nor talk. I must have had a trauma having a bloody face after she picked me up. My grandfather blurted out unimaginable cusses against her for bringing me back looking like that. I have no recollection of the event yet it must have been that or something else.
So why do it when you would just freak out a lot? What do you get out of it? Somehow, it helps me boost my self confidence. The thought of doing something am very, very scared of somehow tells me I can break through anything I want when I dare to. It's that, going through it and watching the footage I took while going through the whole process encourages me so on moments am down and lost because as you know life is so much like this adventure, the struggle is real and sometimes it's really hard to think straight but the ending could be surprising.
Most of the time, I do this with my better half but this time, I was alone so I actually wanted to cry before walking through that glass but was embarrassed to the guy so I had to hold my tears, swallow hard to what I put myself through and get over what I went there for. Little did anyone know, I went to the loo to unleash them but this time from that feeling of self fulfillment being able to do it all by myself.
How about you, what are you so afraid of? Do you know what the root is of that particular phobie you have? Do you still try to "conquer your fear"?
I also feel fear of heights, it terrifies me to be in a high place, where there is no adequate protection and security, so that I can walk calmly. Once I got on the roof of a 20-story building and, although it was far from the edge, I could not wait to leave that place ...
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
so what's next amiga? bungee jumping? lol
waiting for the video to premiere
I wish! lol!
too high a risk but who knows elsewhere safe maybe
definitely nowhere rocky
Thanks for watching it!
I also feel fear of heights, it terrifies me to be in a high place, where there is no adequate protection and security, so that I can walk calmly. Once I got on the roof of a 20-story building and, although it was far from the edge, I could not wait to leave that place ...
well at least you're tried goin up there
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
My knees tremble in heights and it is because of my anxiety issues @englishtchrivy but I love to climb trees when I was younger.