The country of advises - stop making a fool of yourself! Long post about bipolar disorder and society
Hi, guys!
It will be an angry post. And I'm 100% sure that most people will not understand it. But I'll write it anyway.
- Today is just such day - when all stars possible came together and hit my head. First I read a post of my friend on facebook, where she told about a situation when a group of people attacked on-line a girl on antidepressants with suicidal thoughts, telling her that she has to give up pills and go travelling. And born a baby.
- Second - I had a conversation with another friend who asked me "Why do you need to take pills? Can't you just fight your bipolar disorder with your volition"?
- Third - under my post here on steemit where I mentioned that I suffer from sleeping disorder again I received a comment with advice to do yoga. Damn yoga. AGAIN!
OK, that's why I'm writing this. Let me explain something.
I have a bipolar disorder, second type. It means that my life is composed from hypomanic and depressive episodes. When I'm hypomanic I feel like I can turn the world upside down. When I'm depressed I want to die. It's a simplest explanation I can give.
Advises I, and people like me get all the time:
- 1. Try
fuckingyoga! - 2. Try work out!
- 3. Try healthy diet!
- 4. Try travelling!
- 5. Give birth to a baby!
SURPRISE!!!!! I do workout, I do yoga, I eat healthy ect. But this all has NOTHING to do when your brain chemistry works WRONG!
Phrases I, and people like me hear all the time:
- 1. There's a lot of people who suffer more then you
- 2. Just don't think about it!
- 3. You have no reason to be depressed.
- 4. Depression is just bad mood. Try to entertain yourself!
Depression is NOT BAD MOOD. It's a damn monster who takes control under your will, who makes your body hurt with no reason, who makes you feel like everyone you know died and you don't cry anymore. Who makes you think about killing yourself sometimes even without you knowing about it. It's not bad mood. It's a paralysis of will and ability to feel happiness. If you have no legs you can't walk. If you have no serotonin you can't feel joy. It's SIMPLE! Then why is it so hard to understand?
When you have a real, clinical depression it means that your brain works wrong. It doesn't mean that you're just upset with the weather or something else!
Now talking about the volition. Here everything is simple. You have either mental disorder, or your will. There's no third option! Disorder takes your will under control.
About the first topic, where people said that the girl has to stop taking pills and go to a trip. May be they don't understand that if the has intrusive suicidal thoughts she, of course, can refuse taking pills and go to a trip. And, for example, can jump from the bridge during this trip.
And now I have one interesting question. Who of these people who gave her advises she followed will take responsibility for what's happened?
People think they help. They are so good and nice, they say "give up the pills, life is wonderful, try fucking yoga!". they have no idea that when you, at the same time can't breath, can't move because your back hurts like hell and can't find at least one reason to stay alive you don't care abut fucking yoga! You just can't even stand up to brush your teeth, and they want you to do fucking asana. Nice, friendly people. They don't help the person they give their incompetent, dull advises. They just help themselves to feel like "I'm a good person, I told him/her what to do!".
You think that you know what to do better, then doctor does? You think that you're the first one to give a super clever advice? Are you ready to take the responsibility for the repercussion?
Cause as I noticed most people who give advises like this think that they're super spiritual. So what, my super spiritual buddies? If the person you advise to make yoga instead of fixing brain chemistry with pills will go and jump from the roof after it - how will your precious karma feel?
Tell 'em!
Actual quote from my father "It's all in your head kid."
Uhm... duh?!?! And my head controls... All of me?!?!
I have managed to get my mental health under control without pills. My panic attacks and everything that comes along with them are few and far between now a days.
I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS FOR OTHERS.
I outlined a plan with my doctor for sustainable living without medications. I still have bad days, but they aren't as bad as they used to be. The biggest reason why I don't recommend managing without medication unless you and your doctor are both completely sure and work really hard together, is that when I'm not healthy (for example my recent bout of anemia) or other simple outside factors (starting a new birth control) can and has completely thrown me off.
Dragged me right back. I personally have never been suicidal so my risk factor is much lower, which gives me a little more room to experiment but... this is chemistry. Things like exercise, yoga, healthy foods ext can affect this chemistry in a positive way for sure... I utilize all of these things, and extensive cognitive therapy... none of it much matters when an outside factor tweaks my brain even slightly. Out the window.
Ah yes, yes, this all in your head. Of course it's out there! And this is the problem!
I also attend therapy, but for me it's not enough. Unfortunately.
So fucking relatable!!
I had people come up to me and say "Try to enjoy yourself, man. If you have fun, you wouldn't pay attention to it and then it'll eventually go away" this was literally one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life.
People expect us to "just get over it" but they don't understand how serious and dangerous these mental health issues really are. Especially depression. It makes you feel as if you're not worthy enough to live and never will be.
Instead of actually helping by giving genuine advice like "you should really go to a doctor; this is serious stuff" they just brush it off by saying something incredibly stupid.
Exactly. And sometimes they even win, cause depressed person can be easily made to feel guilty, to feel not valuable. And even if he/she already meant to see a doctor this intention can be broken with such stupid advises.
I can see your heart out in here. I dont know what to say. I now understand how difficult it is to have such disorder.
I have a friend who says in her post in facebook that she want to end her life. I was angry at myself because I didnt know how I can help her. I really wanted to.
It's a really hard question and it's OK to not know what to do. Personally I think the best thing that can be done is to find a therapist and/or psychiatrist and mildly encourage a person for a visit, may be even come together if needed. Depressive patients usually stretch out their hands for help, may be with such posts as well. Sometimes they just don't know how to ask for help with other way. More then that - a person can have a suicidal delirium (something I once had), and in this case it feels like not you, but something in you wants you dead, while you are afraid of it and want to live.
But the truth is - sometimes even a doctor can get something wrong, our brain is too complicated.
I think i mentioned to her to seek help from the doctor. But, she was like surprised that that was my reaction to her posts. Ill just continue praying that she will be fine and she can get through it if her depression and anxiety attac.
Wow.
Are you saying that diet does not impact brain chemistry?
I don't. But it's not enough anyway.
Avocados...
Avocados are wonderful
They help! Serotonin foods.
https://therawfoodkitchen.com/9-foods-to-improve-your-mood/
I'm not saying its a cure, but it does help. I used to suffer from depression. It is a side effect of diabetes. Not just depressed moments actual depression.
There are many things that need to be done in combination. What is daunting for you is that change that is too big can be frightening and upsetting. Think "small adjustments."
The psychological fact is small changes are much better. When you take very small changes those can be long lasting and easy to apply. Most human beings are just trying to make it in the world.
These are small micro habits. Small changes. Some people claim about how good their lives with their "internet facade life", but most of us are just working on being happy. It takes more work to be happy than it does to be sad. It is easy to be sad. It is not about just being "happy" or "staying positive" it is about balance of the positive and negative.
The pursuing, or chase of material things only make matters worse. We should be pursuing happiness, and working on surviving, and most struggle with just that idea alone.
Getting out of bed is a struggle for them. Life is a struggle for some. Pursue "happy" and nothing else. Most are chasing the "house" the "car" the "material item." We forget the most important thing of just basic happiness. Good luck and remember small adjustments are easier.
Here are some videos and articles that may help.
Dtube video = https://steemit.com/life/@screenwriterml/p0sy5ow9
https://steemit.com/life/@screenwriterml/9-rules-for-breaking-bad-habits
Forget about the upvotes on these just gain the knowledge!
In remission period yes, I can go and buy avocado. I even will do it today:) But in the highest point of disorder, where you sometimes cant eat at all it's no chance to be fixed by diet.
And thank you for the link, bu the way. I must say I have this all in my ratio except chia.
Diet does not fix. It helps and improves. Healthy fats are good for you. No one diet fits all, but there are different body types and diet per body type. Enjoy. Take it one day at a time, and be patient with yourself.
There is no cure, just processes and outlooks.
I'm still seeking for the correct diet. By the way, bought some avocado today:) But it's so damn immature that I'll have to wait a week before eating it
You are absolutely right, I do not understand why people try to give advice if they have no idea what it is and how it affects the human body.
They all think they're doctors deep inside
Some of them actually were at one point in their lives.