Psychology of communication with children

The Importance of Good Communication
Good communication helps children develop self-confidence, a sense of dignity, and good relationships with others. This makes life next to them more enjoyable and helps them to have good feelings about themselves and others. Remember, love never fails!

To take a child without a doubt is to love him not because he is handsome, intelligent, capable, excellent, assistant and so on, but simply because he is! It is often possible to hear from parents such treatment to the son or daughter: "If you are a good boy (girl), then I will love you." Or: "Do not expect good from me until you stop ... (to be lazy, to fight, to be rude), you will not start ... ( help around the house, obey)."

Let's take a closer look: in these phrases the child is directly informed that it is accepted conditionally, that he is loved (or will be loved), "only if ...". The conditional, evaluative attitude towards man is generally characteristic of our culture. This attitude is also being introduced into the minds of children. The reason for the widely accepted appraisal of children is the firm belief that rewards and punishments are the main educational tools.

Praise the child - and he will become stronger in the good, you will punish - and evil will recede. But the trouble is: they are not always trouble-free, these funds.

Who does not know such a pattern: the more a child is scolded, the worse he becomes. Why does this happen? Because the upbringing of the child is not training at all. Parents do not exist in order to develop conditioned reflexes in children. Psychologists have proved that the need for love, belonging, that is, the need for another, is one of the fundamental human needs. Its satisfaction is a necessary condition for the child's normal development. This need is met when you tell your child that you care about him, you need him, it's important that he's just good. Such messages are contained in friendly views, affectionate touches, direct words: "It's good that you were born" "I'm glad to see you," "I like you," "I love when you're at home," "I'm fine, when we are together...".

Listen carefully
Get rid of what's stopping you, and pay attention to what the child is saying. At times, maybe, adults will have to postpone whatsoever they do and listen to what the kid is saying. It is difficult to manage with a vacuum cleaner, cook dinner, read a newspaper and, at the same time, pay enough attention to what he is trying to say.
Warning: Do not pretend that you are listening when you are not. If you are busy - talk on the phone or take guests - tell the child: Now I'm busy, let's talk about this later. Then necessarily finish the business.

Do not order, but talk with children
Talking down to the child is one-sided communication: Dress your cloak, Soon you will shed it, You need a haircut. Adults who talk downstairs to children often use the excuse that a small child can not communicate at the adult level. But no one, including the smallest child, likes to be told. You can speak down to your dog, even with an infant, but try to talk to an older child.

Talking with a child is a two-way communication - when you say something to him and then listen to what he would like to say. Formation of the habit of talking with children instead of being taken down is particularly useful as they become teenagers.