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Cold War kids is an indy rock band from California. Their song “So Tied Up” featuring Bishop Briggs was released in 2017 on their album “La Divine.” For me the song represents conflict in relationships – how we fight and how we communicate with those we are romantically involved with. The song is about a couple who seem to be in a continuous cycle of conflict with one another and their struggle with trying to make the relationship work while also having thoughts of ending their time together.

This article offers my personal interpretation of the meaning behind the lyrics. Like other articles that I have written on song meanings, I will try my best to go as deep as possible in my analysis. A raw version of the song is posted at the end of the article. To get the full effect, I recommend listening to the song first and then reading my interpretation. I hope you enjoy!

Song Lyrics and Interpretation

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You can't cut me loose until you show meI told you the truth about the old meAnd now you use confession as the proofDo what you have to doGo ahead and act the fool

What if in the endYou want so bad to forgiveBut you cannot forget

This first part of the song suggests that at one point in the couple’s relationship one partner confessed a truth about their past. Perhaps they had cheated on a previous partner or perhaps they had had an unexpectedly high number of previous sexual encounters. Regardless of what the confession was, the honesty was not received well by the other person. Knowledge of the past now influences their current view of the individual and they begin to see their partner differently.

Is this the same person I have been dating all these years?

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The partner heading out to visit friends, a smile to someone of the opposite sex, or a text in the night, now stands as proof that this person cannot be trusted. These seemingly ordinary events now raise questions. Are they having an affair?

Affection and adoration have been replaced by jealousy and resentment.

There is a desire to go back to the way things were before the confession, a desire to forgive, but in the end they just cannot forget what was said.

Can we ever truly escape our pastor will it always be lying in wait to haunt us?

In a way, this verse questions how honest we can truly be in our relationships. Will our partner accept the entirety of who we are or will our secrets lead to hurt and upset and a general lack of trust in those who thought they knew us. Will our past influence how the other sees us going forward? These are questions raised within the song.

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So (so tied up) We've been here beforeSo (so tied up) You want something moreLover, best friend, my worst enemyYou know I won't let you get away

Despite the resentment for one another that seems to be eating away at their relationship these two individuals remain together. They are tied to one another. They go through a cyclical process of fighting and then making up and then fighting once again. They are lovers, best friends or enemies depending on the day. But despite knowing that this is an unpleasant relationship to be in, neither will let go or allow the other to leave.

The chorus really demonstrates the complexity and challenge of human relationships. Sometimes we know a relationship has ran its course or even that it is bad for us in some way, yet we stay together all the same. Is it because of the time we have invested? Is it a fear of failure? Why do we allow ourselves to suffer through the pain when it could be easily ended? I guess its our nature.

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I get you to swerve right outta the fast laneYou still got champagne running through your veinsYou dare me to step up and challenge youNeither one of us can stand to loseStand to lose

Remember we said it'd be like after the rainWashes away our sinsThey never said that love is a twisted gameAnd no one ever wins

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A prime example of a difference between two individuals in a relationship.

One partner is fast and loose. A carefree party goer living life in the fast lane. The other partner is more reserved. Perhaps a home-body. One tries to change the other but this never works. Resentment builds within the relationship. The two partners stares daggers at each other. Posturing. Daring the other to say something. To challenge them. A standoff ensues. Neither will back down from the other.

This can be common in relationships. Often when partners fight, neither one wants to admit that they are wrong. They do not fight to resolve an issue, they fight to win the argument.

This couple also fights to win and therefore nothing is ever resolved between them. They continue their cycle of fighting and making up and fighting again. But neither of them ever really wins though, because they are trapped in a twisted game.

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So (so tied up) We've been here beforeSo (so tied up) You want something moreLover, best friend, my worst enemyYou know I won't let you get away

So so, so tied upSo, so, so, so tied upSo so, so tied upSo, so, so, so tied up

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You threw me a ropeOpposites attractI'm self absorbed and you're superficialWe round each other upBeing true to yourself could never be enough

When a fight breaks out, one partner sometimes throws the other a rope and re-assures them that they are still committed to the relationship - that they still have feelings for the other. They reassure them why they are together. They may have their differences, they may be opposites, but that’s ok - that’s why they like each other. They round each other out.

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Maybe there is hope for them? Maybe they will find happiness together?

Nahhhh.

As the last line in the verse suggests,being true to yourself in a relationship is bullshit

Can you really tell your partner everything about you?Can you tell them your deepest secrets and your hidden desires and fantasies?Would they even want to know those things about you?

Could they handle it?

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I tried to let go (So, so, so, so tied up) We've been here beforeLover, best friend, my worst enemyYou know I won't let you get away

So tied upSo tied upSo tied upSo tied up

Raw Version of the Song “So Tied Up” by Cold War Kids

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