From a slave to a master, chapter # 16 - Going beyond the obvious Duality

A Memoir

Prologue: I found out the secret and It was not easy to practice. At first, I realized that the old paradigm of the dualistic relationship, the one I described in the previous chapters (15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9), was not what I was looking for. There was no fun in that. But I was clueless about what else was there, what more life could offer me. Like many of you, I was brought up on Disney's fairytales where the prince saves the weak princess and they live happily ever after, and therefore I didn't know anything else. My mind did not know how to escape itself. I was in a prison and my guard lost the keys. A dreadful situation indeed. Years past, of doubt, confusion, trials and errors, until it dawned on me. There is something beyond the known duality.

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One's relationship is never like another's. We each function differently no matter what our choices are. Two people can opt for real love but experience that same choice very diversely in their own separate lives.

Why is that?

In our day-to-day lives, we combine three main elements - mind, heart, and spirit. These are respectively our thoughts, our feelings and the spiritual connections that we form. Each individual may be managing the bonds that they create while focusing on a different element. That, in turn, produces different results that influence the quality and nature of the relationship.

• When one mainly functions from their mind, that is from a mental perspective to life, the intellect is given a prominent control over one's life and therefore one becomes rigid and stiff in their attitude and behavior. One's attitude then is characterized by certain objection to new ideas and by the propensity to conservatism; a natural result of the mind’s fear of trying new things that reside outside one’s comfort zone.

• Alternatively, when one functions from the heart, then the emotions become the power that moves and motivates one. Everything is seen and experienced through the emotional filter and therefore quite often decisions are made out of a temporary impulse and with no preliminary thinking. An obsession for a past lover is one example of such uncontrolled and unmonitored emotional impulses. If we do indeed function mainly from our hearts we ultimately will perceive the reality from a very subjective point of view. Every occurrence is taken to heart and life becomes an emotional roller-coaster.

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Unfortunately, given enough time this emotional status will affect our physical and mental well-being simply because the body cannot handle the intensive overflows on its neurological and immune systems. Those whose lives are governed by extremely high emotional levels tend to control others through their feelings.

For instance, they may show much love towards others while they real (unconscious) purpose would be to strengthen their own self-esteem and to validate their own existence. Often, such people attract to themselves others with diminished self-esteem and who generally do not feel worthy of living fully and joyfully. Therefore, the love that they were showered upon by the emotional individuals was something they really needed. However, soon enough that so-called love becomes a demonic prison and many efforts will be needed to release such a restrictive relationship.

• The appropriate way to handle a relationship and to successfully function within it is to unite the three elements. That is to harmonize the natural intellect with the natural feelings and to house both under the wings of the spiritual wisdom. Such combination allows the receiving of new creative ideas and the exploration of various ways of living during continuous reinforcement of the personal intuition. Grander truths about the nature of the personal reality could then penetrate one’s consciousness and cause the vision that the mind has regarding the essence of love and the nature of the relationship, to expand.

When we learn to balance our emotions with the rational thinking and with the wisdom of the master, we then find the reassurance and the validation for our existence. We then learn that the former two come from a deep place within us and not from an outside source. We learn, finally, the meaning of self-love.

Such inner-condition creates enough inner-security that allows the objective monitoring of our feelings. We no longer are swept away by the drama that creates in us unexpected emotional responses. That in itself gives us enough time and space to observe our lives and the “unknown” rules that have initially created them. We then can boldly examine our real needs, wishes, and desires and to sort those that come from narrow egotistical self and those that are born from the soul-level.

A Real love - the type that is created and operates from the mind, the spirit and the heart - is a great magic. It does exist and is indeed tangible and real, just as the sun that shines in the morning and sets in the evening. A Real love is feasible, is real, is seeable and is felt everywhere and always.

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You, the reader, stop your reading for a while and ask yourself –

To what extent do you trust who you are? To what extent do you appreciate yourself to be the God that you are? These two are the most important questions you need to contemplate daily. Your answers to yourself will determine the extent of the benefit you can gain from my words. You must remember that the creation of your grandest dream about yourself should be simple and effortless; so easy and simple that it can be explained in four sentences. Remember also that it is no longer a question IF you ever will achieve realization but merely WHEN you will achieve it. And that depends solely on you.

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My basic message has always been the same and it can be summarized into four lines. The way to realization is as follows:

Breathe deeply

Feel your existence

Be in your Now moment

Allow

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That is all. No more rules. No additional guiding principles are needed. Are you willing to accept this simplicity? Are you ready to abandon any rational old thinking about efforts and hardships? Your mind will battle the fact that it can be so easy. It will drive you to do something, to take the initiative and to actively search for your spiritual nirvana.

The difficulty that the human mind faces, that is to go beyond its sensed reality and to allow the spirit to bring you what you want, makes it imperative and necessary to write, explain and detail about the path to realization. On my path, I used the writing as a way to indoctrinate my mind to the new truths. I have not attended workshops or spiritual gatherings as I did not want them to distract me. I was a type of person that needed to learn by myself, and often the hard way. So I read and wrote, learned and taught. This is what I am doing here, in my messages.

But truth must be said. You do not need me, or to read anyone else's messages to have realization. You actually need nothing, but yourself.