HOW TO MEASURE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

in #relationship6 years ago

Everyone wants to be loved and cared for. We all want healthy relationship where we feel the warmth of our loved ones. We all desire a relationship where we can be happy but achieving it most times is really not easy.

The media has not helped matters, they have presented relationships to be very romantic. Some feel money and a good sex is what makes a good relationship. Provided they get this two, they view relationship as something they can change and work on later.

Is that how you feel?How is your relationship? Healthy? Choking? Bad? How would you measure if yours is healthy or not. If not, its your choice to stay but read along and to see where you need to make changes in your relationship.

Finding and staying in a healthy relationship is quite challenging . This is because we all are imperfect. As such, we do not expect a perfect relationship. However, maintaining and longing for a life long union requires that you enjoy what you are having now, else the relationship becomes regrettable.

Granted, you must argue, shout or offend each other but in spite of all these, how can you measure a good relationship? Some habits need to be checked and never overlooked. Let us see what you can measure a good relationship with.

TOOLS TO MEASURE A GOOD AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

¬1. GOOD FRIENDS: Are you free to share with him / her what you can share with other friends? When distressed, is he the first person you think of to tell your worries or you hide it from him/her?

¬2. GOOD LISTENERS: Do you find it hard to talk and confide in your partner because he will snap at you? In a healthy relationship, even when you argue, you still hear your partner out and feel heard also. Does he/she yell while you speak?

¬ 3. HAVE FUN: Do you often spend time together? Is the relationship strained by time? A healthy relationship foster the spending of happy moments with your spouse

¬4. THREATS: A good relationship has no need for one to threaten to leave the other. Instead you always want the company of each other

¬5. FREEDOM: A healthy relationship allow you the freedom to ask about your needs without making you feel guilty, unsatisfied or selfish.

¬6: DEEP LOVE: Do you deeply love your partner? Is your love all about what you can get from him/her? Are you ready to go through fire or hardship with him/her? Think deeply.

¬7: TRUST: If there is no trust in a relationship, that relationship never lasts. Do you believe everything he/she tells you?

¬.8 COOPERATION: Is there spirit of cooperation between you both? Plans work out well in a relationship when there is cooperation. Some even operate a joint account with their spouse. That's your choice anyways.

¬9. FORGIVENESS: Are you both good forgivers? Do you forgive only to use it against the person in another argument? Forgive from the heart and let go

¬10. RESPECT: You both deserve some respect. Look out that you are giving and given some respect. Are you valued or does he/she look for every opportunity to bring you down? Be careful

¬11. ABUSE: This could be verbal, physical or emotional. Only those feeling it will tell you which one is worse. But to me, all are unacceptable. Look out that you are not being abused. Correct it now or it becomes regrettable.

¬12. SHARE LAUGHTER: Couples who laugh together have a high quality relationship than those who have no time for laughter. Laughing together promotes commitment and satisfaction towards each other.

~13 MAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER: No one person should call the shots. Jointly you should make the decisions and each other’s opinion should be respected.

~14. BE BALANCED: If your spouse work as you do, do you understand and see reasons why some other concerns can not be met yet? If tired from work, a woman may not be able to resume chores at home immediately. It takes understanding, balance and maturity to deal with that situation.

~15. GROWTH: A good relationship should encourage you to grow. It accepts you the way you are and gives you opportunity to be a better person, morally, academically, emotionally, spiritually and otherwise

~16 SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS : You should set goals that are attainable by your spouse. Make room for differences in backgrounds, emotional make up, health record and culture

~17. CONTRIBUTE: Put in your quota into the relationship to make it work. Your strength, ability and efforts can encourage your partner.

~18. FAMILY TIES: Honour family ties. You had family and friends before you met, you like to keep yours, do not set boundaries between your partner and her family or friends

~19. HONESTY : Be truthful , be open and express yourself without deceit.

~20. PRAYERFUL Without any order, i have arranged these tools, else prayer would be the first. Allow God to be in your relationship. Does your spouse allow you to talk about and worship God? Is he an Atheist, not believing in God? Would he have fear of God to treat you right if he doesn’t believe in God?

Wow, it has been a long list of tools to help you measure the relationship you are in or hope to forge.

So have your own relationship measured up? Have you seen areas to improve upon? I wish you well in your relationship but see if there are adjustments to make to foster healthy living and be happy ever after.

Don't forget, forging a relationship with a stranger needs work to make it life long. It is a long journey you have accepted to make, work on it, invest in it, do not give up. You both retain your individuality and help build a happy, flourishing relationship and home for your self.

Compiled by @adoore-eu for @euronation.

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in my opinion, one shouldn't measure his/her relationship. one should help his partner and complete the missing or weak part of his partner

Apparently you measured it before you saw lapses to help him/her complete. Good to fill them where possible, the post mentioned the need for adjustment, pls .Thanks for your contribution.

thanks for correction

My relationships with people would take a new turn because of this...thanks euronation.

Good to know, thanks for stopping by

Thanks for this wonderful advice/post, applying it will certainly strengthen my relationship(s).

We all need the assessment and seek ways to adjust

Hello! I find your post valuable for the wafrica community! Thanks for the great post! @wafrica is now following you! ALWAYs follow @wafrica and use the wafrica tag!

Oh my God after reading this i think my relationship is failing.

Good to go make some adjustments. Thanks for stopping by

Good to go make some adjustments. Thanks for stopping by

This post was really enlightening. Kudos

Wow, thank you

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