KIDNAPPING CHICKENS GIANT SNAKES AND A BURRITO - The Adventures of Sally part 13

in #sally5 years ago

Hi Everybody!
Pheew, let me remind everyone what happened in our last episode: After puncturing my head with the scissors and being attacked by that stupid giant rat again, I was rescued by a chicken. I thought it was UNIrock at first but, it wasn't.
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The chicken flew me down to the Amazon

Let me tell you folks, that Amazon is nothing like on the internet! I did not see any of the merchandise they show on the computer, only a big river, trees and bugs and birds. So please, if you were planning on vacationing here, you will be soooo disappointed. There is no merchandise! I repeat NO MERCHANDISE!

OMG I WAS TRAFFIC

That smelly nonUNIrock chicken sold me to a chicken farmer. Lord only knows what his intentions were of me. I started singing loudly like Roseanne, ya know, real obnoxious. I looked around at the place and it was a total dump. This farmer must be as poor as dirt. Luckily, my quick thinking saved me again and I bought my freedom from the farmer. I offered all of my Bitcoin, all .000000000000420 of it! Sucker!
Free at last, I started the long journey north, thru the jungle and spider webs and creepy stuff........
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THE ENCOUNTER


I was minding my own business traipsing along singing Polly Wolly Doodle when in the corner of my eye I saw something..... I paused and before I could scream one of those GIGANTIC acapulco snakes swallowed me. Yes he did!
Fortunately, I had my trusty matches with me. They come in real handy in situations, plus they're lots of fun to play with!
So, I lit one, Wholly crap! You would not believe how many people were in that snake with me. I think I counted 11.
I gave em each a match and we cooked that stupid snake from the inside out!
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The villagers smelled the aroma of the cooking snake and they came running with forks and knives and I screamed "DON'T RUN WITH SHARP OBJECTS! THROW THEM IF YOU MUST" so they did...Ouch.
(oh, by the way they informed me it is an Anaconda. Whatever, anaconda - acapulco, tomato - tomoto)

These villagers were so happy I saved them, that they gave me this burrito to help me with my journey north!
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We are on our way! We will see all of you soon!
Tata for now from South America,
Sally and the burrito

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There is no merchandise! I repeat NO MERCHANDISE!

I will pay heed to NO MERCH....

and I hope that's not artificial anaconda??

Would love to see Sally arriving in the north.

Mr. Ummm BACON what business are you referring to that involves snakes, or shall I say missed business's. Riddles ye speakth dos confusith (that the best I can do in ruffled collar speak.

Das yath steampunking involve springs and gears by chanceth? Or stampeth metal with words or digits? If thy answer is yeah, my vast collection of tiny workith parts may be of interest. Let me know MmmmmBaconnnnn

Sure would not want an anaconda up my butt

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