Welcome back to School: Separation Anxiety

Goodmorning everyone! Allow me to share a very essential and relatable topic today in which I can say that majority of us had experienced this. It is about tears and emotions on the first day of school and for the child to experience Separation Anxiety.

Source

Yesterday June 04, 2018 was the official opening of classes in the Philippines and marks the end of 2 moths vacation break. Majority were excited to be back at school and seeing their old friends and classmates but for the first timers especially the young kindergartens, the vibes was completely opposite as the room were filled with tears, emotion , dramas and children crying when they are about to enter the room.

Personally I can really relate to this one and I guess majority of us went to experienced this kind of stage in our lives, right? The sense of fears, feeling uncomfortable and anxious when you see your parents getting away from you. Hmm I could still recall those days when I don't want to enter the classroom and stayed behind my sister. The last thing I could remember was HOW MUCH I HATE SCHOOL! I was just experiencing Separation Anxiety then.

What is Separation Anxiety?

According to Dr. Kiran and Association The Separation anxiety is excessive anxiety or worry about separation from the home or from a person whom the child is attached. Typically the attached person is a parent or caregiver but the attached person(s) can also include siblings, other family members or other significant individuals in the child’s life.

The start of preschool is a milestone that's often anticipated with great excitement and joy, but also with lots of crying, uncertainty, and heel digging -- from both kids and parents! As well know Separation Anxiety is one of the most common problems by parents when their children go to school specifically preschoolers and kindergartens first few weeks.

Unfortunately, the adult who says goodbye to his or her child at the classroom door for the first time often experiences this natural separation as a loss, combined with guilt or regreT and then s is quite evident and inevitable. That's why it both parents and children should be prepared for this transition.

Is It Normal ?

According to my readings, some of the separation anxiety is normal and expected in children. Normal distress about separation can start as early as one year old and it’s typical to observe this distress when children are 3-5 years old. Anxiety about separation from caregivers typically subsides around ages 7-8 years.

What are the following Symptoms of Excessive Separation Anxiety ?



Source

Note:Only a qualified professional (for example, a psychologist) can make a diagnosis of Separation Anxiety Disorder and help evaluate if your child displays some of the following symptoms:

• Repeated tantrums or emotional outbursts when separating (or anticipating a separation) from their home or their caregiver(s)
• Prolonged worry about possible harm befalling their caregiver(s)
• Repeated reluctance or refusal to go to school because of their fear of separation
• Repeated reluctance or refusal to go to sleep without being near a caregiver
• Reluctance or refusal to go to sleepovers due to their fear
• Repeated nightmares about separation
• Ongoing complaints of physical symptoms (e.g. headaches, stomachaches, nausea) when the child has to separate (or anticipates separating) from their caregiver.

One of the many jobs of a parent is to help the child through the various stages of separation in order to become an individuated being.To ease the transition, here are some other points to remember.

Easing the Separation Anxiety


Source

• DO establish a routine.
• DO help your child prepare if there is any major change coming in their life.
• DO model the behavior you want to see in your child.
• DO encourage physical exercise to relieve stress.
• DO stay calm, matter-of-fact and, sympathetic.
• DO practice short-term separations around the house.
• DO NOT sneak away from your child.
• DO NOT lose your temper.

Here is a video from YouTube that will give you some tips on handling severe separation anxiety.

Conclusion



Source

At this point of transition, parents role is very crucial and essential in guiding these children. Parents look at yourself; pay attention to what's going on in you. It is important to note that this is natural so don't lose sight of the fact that separation is a natural developmental process of growth. It is not a loss of love. Quite the contrary. When independence is encouraged in an appropriate way, it creates more love, not less.

Did you experienced Separation Anxiety on your first day of school before? What about your children? Share it with me now I be glad to hear your thoughts.
~Zam

Reference

• https://drpureandassociates.com/therapy-services/child-separation-anxiety
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/separation-anxiety
• https://www.whitbyschool.org/passionforlearning/separation-how-to-handle-that-first-day-of-school