LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 02 - post146

She gave me a grin. “Right, so you got rid of me, how are you going to do that with Klo, she won’t talk openly like I do.”






Previous Post 145


1068

“Klo will find her own way of telling me what she really wants. Let’s not push it. I suggest we go out, have a good time and we see what happens when we return. Do you want to come out as you are, or as adults?”

“I never really feel comfortable as an adult, maybe because I know I’m really a baby.”

“Kleanthi?”

“Can I stay as I am today?”

“A wise decision. If you make yourself an adult then you have to act like one - it is much more fun being a child.”

Agapi instantly asked, “Why don’t you make yourself into a child then?”

“I don’t have any clothes, plus people will think it is strange to see a bunch of children without an adult to watch over them.”

It was far too early for supper, so we sat at a καφενείο (coffee shop) at the old harbour (they do not have a new one, I only call it the old one as it is never used now for anything but yachts and fishing boats, plus, it is what the locals call it). The sun was setting and it was getting cooler and the area was filling up with the usual crowds. We sat chatting and joking about various things when suddenly Agapi giggled.

“What is so funny?”

“I was thinking about school. You know that I go as a nine year old, I did not want to start with the babies, it is boring. We have a teacher who likes to try and see our panties when we sit at our desks. He is always bending down to pick up things he drops.

One day I stayed in the classroom, I did not go out to play and he came in. He started being very friendly and he tried to touch me on my wee-wee. I ran away and he has been worrying I’ll tell my parents or another teacher.”

“Did you do anything to tempt him, were you teasing him, like you did with me?”

“A little bit.” She was grinning at me.

“Then I am glad you did not report him. It would not have been fair. Agapi, you shocked me when you teased me. I had thought nobody could want anyone outside of their circle. When you tease, you give the impression you do. Your family find it difficult enough to love you that way, if you make them feel you may want someone else, they will never make love to you. Maybe you would be better off teasing your own family.”


1069

“I only do it for fun.”

“That is how it starts. It never stops there. Do you really want to end up making love with some boy or man outside your circle?”

“No! Never!”

“Your teasing gives the message that you do.”

“I’m sorry Robert, I won’t do it again.”

“It must be because you don’t want to, not because you promised me - I did not ask for nor want a promise from you, all I did was point out there are certain dangers if you do.”


By the time we wanted supper we were totally relaxed with each other and they had both opened up to me - despite my tendency to preach now and then. As we walked over to the taverna I told Agapi, “If that teacher ever tries anything, call for me in your mind. I have set my protector to watch over you. If you call, it will come instantly to protect you. Agapi, if it is called and I find out that you played your games with the teacher, making him try something, I will be very upset with you. Mostly disappointed I think.”

“I won’t Roberto. You will really have your protector watch over me, as if I was your wife or daughter?”

I laughed, the little minx (σουσουράδα) cannot seem to help herself, she is a little flirt. It is funny now, but it will not be when she is grown up. I hope she will mature.


We had a good meal and got home early. I made myself a coffee and we sat on the balcony.

“Kleanthi mou, you have been doing a lot of thinking.”

“I don’t know what to do Roberto!” she almost wailed.

“Don’t get upset love. Start from the premise that we are here and I will make love to you if that is what you want. Now take it from there, do you really want this?”

“It is different for me, I am not Agapi. I do not belong in the circle.”

“Whoa!! Stop right there. How did you get into the circle if you do not belong. Did you only pretend to love them, or did they maybe pretend to love you?”

“No, I love them all and they do love me. They are my uncle and auntie, my cousins. That is why they love me.”

“I see, it was their duty to love you and so, snap, the circle took you in!”

“I don’t know!”

“You do know Klo, you are not being honest with me or yourself. You have gifts now, and one of them is the ability to feel how you are loved. Did you ever feel they do not love you?”

“No.”

“So why this childishness. Is it because you feel you do not deserve to be loved and that is why they cannot really love you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let me tell you about duty. It was the duty of my father to love me. It was my duty as his son to love him. He is a cold son of a bitch and sometimes I hate him. So much for duty where love is concerned. What will I do if I find him and he is ill or he is poor and alone? I will do my duty and take care of him, but he will not feel any love from me unless he earns it.


1070

When we came to the hospital they already cared for you, they did not love you, but they cared. They took you into their home because you were family. Then a miracle happened, they fell in love with the sweet little girl who was suffering because she had lost her parents. From all I have felt, I know that that love has only grown since then.”

“You feel it?”

“I do. Just as I feel the love from you. I have seen you sitting with the girls, doing your thing, giggling and telling each other secrets. Then I see you look at one of your family and I feel the love that fills your heart. So do not bullshit me or yourself about the circle being wrong. You cannot enter if you do not love each other. If you were thinking of justifying having sex with me by using that excuse, it is very wrong of you.”

“Everybody says you understand children, that you are always kind and love them. Why are you being so horrid to me?”

“Just listen to yourself, you say that I understand children and when I show that I do understand that you have been lying to yourself, you say I am horrid.”

We sat in silence for a while. I felt her emotions, but waited for her to speak. When I saw she would not, I asked her, “What is it you want from me Klo, my baby, my love, what?”

“If I have your baby then you will love me.”

“You have it the wrong way around. I should be having a baby with you because I love you - not so as to love you. Why do you care if I love you, you are not in love with me. Am I just a trophy, a prize you can show off, say, look, I have his baby so he loves me, I am special?”

*That is brutal Robert.*

*I have to be, I cannot see what she wants. It seems to me she just wants to use me to calm her own fears of not being worthy.*

“Kleanthi, I cannot think of a more terrible thing to do to a baby. To bring it into the world without wanting it or loving it.”

“I want a baby, I want it, I do!”

“Very badly?”

“Yes! More than anything.”

“More than you wanted your parents back?”

“That is not fair Roberto. How can she answer that!”

“You are right Agapi. I’m sorry.”

She put her arm around her. “Don’t worry Klo mou, we will get one of my brothers to give you a baby. I promise you will have a baby of your own to love.”

I began to understand.

*Dommi, how can a small child have such a need to have a baby? This is not natural.*

*It is Robert. Lot’s of early teenagers get pregnant because they wanted the baby, not by accident as they have to pretend. Others just suffer because what the world thinks of them is too important. Our children all live without that fear.*

*I will not put that fear in her. It would be wrong.*

“Kleanthi mou, why my baby? Was I the only alternative you had? Your own family would not give you the baby you wanted, you could not go to another man without hurting them and because they love me you decided it had to be me?”

“No!! It was because I also love you.”

I felt the love as it poured out of her. I sent my love back and she looked up at me in wonder.

“You also love me!!”



Next Post 147

I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love.




Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)
12th January, 2019

* posted on Steemit: 12th January, 2019



For those who wish to be notified of sequels
@nikosnitza
If you wish to have your name added above, I would be honoured.


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NOTE:

The image I used at the end: Kokopelli
Kokopelli is a fertility deity, usually depicted as a humpbacked flute player (often with feathers or antenna-like protrusions on his head), who has been venerated by some Native American cultures
Sort:  

You are an honest and an honorable person. Thank you.

#2
After I posted my comment, I realised I did not express myself as I'd intended. What I was doing was laughing at myself - by insinuating that maybe I am not as honest as I would like to be, but that I may have been influenced because of my having lived through a similar experience.
:)

I really did not expect this - and thank you for proving to me that my belief system is right.

I too have been a victim of dishonourable people, destroying my business of $25 million, so that they could make a million or maybe two. So what happened to you struck a chord with me.

Thank you.

Kleanthi ήθελε τελικά απλά ένα μωρό? Ήθελε ένα μωρό από τον r
Robert για να δείξει ότι κάτι είναι?

Kokopelli πραγματικά δεν το γνώριζα... Αν δεν έγραφες κάτι θα το προσπερνάγα έτσι...

Μου άρεσε πολύ το από πάνω σχόλιο δεν πιστεύω να μου μιλάς για αυτόν....
Αν έβαλε νερό στο κρασί σου δεν πειράζει... Λέει πολύ όμορφα λόγια για σένα που τα αξίζεις από όσο σε γνωρίζω

Nai kai mou ehei epistrepsi para pano apo deka fores to poso pou tou esteila! Den to perimena!

Gia tin Kleanthi...dn teleiose i istoria tis....alla fantazome oti eos edo symfonis oti o Robert ferthike san kalos anthropos?

nai kirios einai!!!!! :)

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