Little Cherine Book 01 - BPost059

arthur.grafo4 (60)in #sfandf-fiction • 5 years ago

^{“Never, not once have I or any of the girls hit out at each other. That was not in play, it was in anger.”

She began to cry and apologised.}

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601

“It is not good enough. Maybe you did it because you have seen it happen as a child. It is not how we behave. You do not hit; you do not throw and smash things. You do not say things to hurt as deeply as you can. That kind of behaviour belongs to that class of persons who do not respect each other and have no self discipline. You ever do it again I walk away from you. I swear by my love for you, I will walk away forever.

Claudia, I am not just threatening you. There will be many times that I anger you, or one of the others do, but our reactions must always remain within civilised proportions. Even anger, a fight, are part of a relationship. However, all relationships must obey fundamental rules or they get eaten away by the acid of too many ugly memories. I treat you like a lady and expect you to act like one.”

I could tell she was not listening, still in the grip of her anger. “It is this body that puts you off. They are right, you will only feel comfortable if I have a child’s body.”

“Did you have to dig deep to try and find something to hurt me?” I swung away as she apologetically made to move to me and then swung back to her again. “You are right. It is a problem. I do not want to make love to you as a woman of twenty five. You are eleven years old and you do not belong in that...I do not mind making love to you as you are if it is just for fun, as part of experiencing something new between us. The first time is too important. An eleven year old mind in an eleven year old body knows her body, knows how to handle the feelings. I want you to fully enjoy the newness of the experience of being loved by someone who loves you deeply, not just for the sake of the novelty of feeling it happen to you in this body.

You spoke to hurt me, using your knowledge of my vulnerabilities against me, and I will remember it - especially as I had just warned you about not doing so. Not only did you show a lack of respect for me, but you also pointed the way to the truth of how it should be this weekend - for both of us. Since you do not agree, I suggest we return home. Maybe when your mind is also twenty five you will be ready for me.”

She sat on the bed and sobbed. When she lay down, curling her knees up to her stomach I lay down next to her, without touching. A long time passed and I thought she might have dozed off when she spoke in a little voice of complaint. “You also said that last bit only to hurt me.”

“Very true. I’m glad it did.”

She sat up, her eyes livid. “You can be a real bastard sometimes.”

“Far too often. Thank you.”

“Fuck you.” She turned over, showing her back to me.

“I was not being sarcastic, I meant it. You are forgetting who I am Claudia. When I hurt you, your pain is an unbearable pain in me. Your anger does not hurt me, it is easier to bear, so it was good to feel your pain change to anger.”

I turned onto my side and lightly dozed. When her arm came over me it was not unexpected, though I was grateful.

“I deserved that didn’t I?” she asked in a small voice.

“You asking me what you deserve? As far as I am concerned you deserve all the love I have to give to you. You deserve all the happiness I can give you. You deserve the warmest, cosiest corner of my heart. But I do have to enforce rules, there are too many of us and we are too closely linked for any of us to be hurting or bitter, it would poison the lives of the rest of us. Can you imagine your effort to hit me, what it would do to Wendy for instance?”

She came into my arms and cried. I wiped her face and tenderly kissed her. Once the crying was over I asked if she wanted to get away from this, go dance with her sister.

“No, I would rather lie here in your arms so that I can sleep.”

I gently undressed her, not altering our ages, and holding each other, we both drifted into a deep sleep.

602

*You have matured my love, you handled last night without tearing yourself to pieces. I am proud of you.*

*I do not know how much of it is maturity and how much is just plain fear. I am too scared to allow myself to retreat into self indulgent torments.* I sent Dommi a smile with the message. I was surprised by her commenting, for I knew none of them liked the fact that I had altered myself, so as to avoid hurting them again by my childish tantrums.

*I think Marian is getting fed up of us. She is upset that Meli spends so much time with us.* *She is right love, we have to respect her feelings and needs too. You are a mother, surely you can empathise? Please tell Meli to return home.* *I can’t say that!! Her home is here with us - I will tell her to visit her mother.*

I looked over at Claudia as she lay on her back with her wrist across her eyes. The sight of her pert pink nipples, the gentle firm swell of her breasts almost made me regret my decision. I would have so loved to cover them with kisses, feel the magic texture as I fondled them, sucked in the coral tips and teased them with my lips and tongue. To softly nibble them with my teeth and feel the ache shoot down to deep between her legs.

I gave a quick kiss to each of them and dashed off to the bathroom. She chuckled with pleasure, having felt the deep need in me. I thought of the warm scent of sleep which had tantalised me as she lay next to me and knew I would be wanting to taste her as she is one day soon.

We had a lazy day, walking and cuddling and mostly talking. She asked me many questions about my love for the girls, about my feelings for my daughters. I replied as honestly as I could, sometimes verbally and sometimes by bringing her into my thoughts and heart. As we sat, looking out at the sea, she moved deeply within me on her voyage of discovery, for with her there is a need to understand me, loving me is not enough for her. When she returned she sighed.

“I have loved you from the first time I saw you. You were my hero. As I lived with you, part of your special family, my love deepened into something more real. But I was afraid Robert. It all seemed too good to be true. I had thought my parents loved me and they did not. I thought maybe you might be the same. When you told the story of Wendy, Cherine sent me the image of what Wendy looked like when you found her, when she examined her. I was horrified. It took me some time to realise how special your heart must be to have fallen in love with her when she looked like that.

It made my words to you seem so petty, so self-centred. Before I could show you I had regretted my words and wanted to be loved by you, to give myself, not only in my heart, but my body too, you vanished. You cannot imagine the pain and grief I felt as I felt you missing from the link. Then the others began to die. Cherine, her death nearly made me die too. When I lost my Wendy, my best friend and love, I went a little crazy. I wanted to die, but I could not. I am still trying to recover from all that Robert. I think a little of that fear will stay in me forever. I could not bear to lose you or the girls ever again.”

“I am not speaking lightly my love; not just for the sake of consoling you, but I’m certain this will never happen again. If anything should ever happen and I am torn away from your side, you need not fear you have lost me. We will meet for a while at our World until our bodies are re-created. You are stuck with me and those lovely girls who will soon be your wives if you want us, forever. You do not have to rush into believing, give yourself the time and space you need to grow into us - or to let us grow into you.”

“I am not used to men who are sweet like you. I think you are the nicest man in the world. Do you mean that about marrying me?”

I joked, “Of course you think so, but then you love me.” Her eyes reproached me for teasing, but her lips were soft and warm. I explained about our way of solving the problem of marriage. She was delighted to think of the girls as her wives.

That evening we had a kleftiko, a Cypriot dish that comes from the days when the ‘antartes’ (guerrillas) fought the British, living in the mountains. They would dig a hole, make a fire and place the coals in there, put the meat (lamb or goat) with potatoes, onions and so on, wrapped up in newspapers, close the hole and leave. That way, if smoke was seen they were no longer there. Twenty four hours later they would return and collect the food. The meat is so tender it hardly needs to be chewed. We had a bottle of red wine with our meal. Claudia held up her glass, looking at the lights through the red wine.

603

“I presume you will want me to change back, will my eleven year old body be able to handle this wine?”

“Enjoy it love. The healer will see to it.”

She laughed, “You know that we Swedes love our alcohol. Is there any danger I could become addicted to it?”

“No chance. Part of the healing and rejuvenation is the correcting of genes that cause thing such as drug or alcoholic dependence.”

“Then why do you enjoy smoking?”

“I do not. I actually hated it. It was probably a way of saying, look, I want to kill myself…I’m sorry, I was being self-defensive. I cannot explain why, but I do enjoy a cigarette now and then, but as the healer does not allow the chemicals to remain in my body, I am not physically addicted, probably just psychologically addicted…whenever I have a serious problem or I’m feeling depressed - even, sometimes, when I’m too happy for me to handle it, I feel I need a cigarette.”

“It is amazing. People are so complex, half the time not even understanding themselves, and yet we are still able to fall in love.”

I kept my tone light, “Are you telling me you are in love?”

“Oh yes, that I am. Whether I am eleven or twenty five, I keep falling in love with this same wonderful sweet man.”

“He is a lucky guy.”

“Isn’t he?” She smiled at my game-playing. “Actually Robert, I am the lucky one.”

“Can I ask, why do you call me Robbie as a child and Robert now?”

“I didn’t think about it - it just feels right.”

“I like the Robbie name when I feel it is an expression of love, an endearment.” I laughed. “Do you want to know something funny? I do not like it if a man tries to call me Robbie, not even my best friend.”

The healer left us alone so that we both ended up with a warm glow and a little tipsy. We walked over to the hotel under a full moon, its pearly glow doing strange things to her eyes. When we entered our room I closed my eyes and lightly ran my fingers over her face, creating a map of her fine features for my fingers to remember forever - or at least until she really is a twenty five year old. When I opened my eyes again, hers were fixed on mine with a warm glow of love.

“Claudia, my love grows for you all the time. Thank you for being so special.” I kissed her tenderly and left her, going for a shower I did not need, to give her time to change.

My heart lurched as I returned to find her sweet eleven year old body bare and golden, lying on the bed. I saw the slight swelling of the breasts just beginning to blossom, the fine satin skin and the firmness of her taut young flesh. As I stared she stood up on the bed and turned around for me, offering the sight of her, her waist, with the slight curve inwards on the outer sides, the two dimples above them, the sculpted shoulders with the ripple of movement as she raised her arms above her head; the grooves down her spine that curved in at the waist. She turned and I saw her abdomen pulled in by the raising of her arms, the rib cage softly outlined.

I removed the bathrobe and knelt on the bed in front of her.

“Do you like me Robbie?”

“You are glorious. They should make a statue of you to represent the ideal of adolescence. But then how would any artist capture the soft golden glow, the warm satiny feel of your skin. You have a body to be adored my love and so I will. Oh god, yes I will.”

604

I ran fingers lightly up and down her skin and though she trembled like a doe she turned for me to feel all of her beauty.

“Damn, I had heard that Swedish girls are beautiful and when I saw your sister I was captivated by her lovely features and skin, but you put her to shame. I never imagined anything so lovely. I could delight in just feeling you like this forever.”

It has become accepted that they answer my clichés of endearments with a cliché, instead of kindly ignoring them. Shyly she giggled. “I hope not Robbie.”

I pulled her to her knees and bending my head down to her I kissed her full soft lips. The inside of her arms caressed me as she moved her fingertips over my back and her lips parted in invitation. I was truly spellbound by her lovely skin and my lips trailed their way in adoration over her cheeks, to her eyes, to the soft firm lobes of her ears which I sucked and gently nibbled on. She startled me when she pulled away.

“Robbie I don’t want to come from you making love to my ears and face.”

“Why not my love? You can come as many times as you want. Each one will be better than the last one.” As I returned to her ears, gently breathing into them her hand slid over my chest and down over my belly. She gave a low moan and her body arched in spasms that were more like a yearning than the red flowering explosion of passion. I held her to me while my hands rubbed at her body, kneading and pinching her firm warm flesh.

She wanted to collapse onto the sheets, but I held her up. Tenderly I warmed her with loving hands until she was able to stand for me upon the bed.

I felt the thrumming within her, she was as tightly strung as a piano wire. I raised myself and kissed her neck, nuzzling my way until I was behind her and was kissing the nape, pulling her long hair up so that my lips could taste the back of her neck. I slowly ran my tongue down her spine.

I pulled back and looked at her, just thrilling to the sight of her sweet lithe body and limbs. “This is the first time I have ever asked anyone to stand for me. Usually this all happens with my sweet lover lying down. I am enjoying the sight of your perfect body so much I just had to make you stand. Come my love, lie down.”

“No. I think it is my turn now. You have been driving me crazy with your lips, now it is my turn.”

Obediently I stayed upright as she too ran her soft fingers over my body and her lips and tongue teased the nerve endings of my skin so that I was soon one hard knot of aching desire and need. I cried out to her what was about to happen and she clamped herself to me. As the pressure subsided she echoed my words, lovingly teasing me.

“Don’t worry love. You can come as often as you want.” There was a gleam of naughtiness in her eyes so I decided to play with her.

“It is not the same for a man my love. Once the semen has spurted out the pressure and ache it causes is gone and hours are needed to refill…”

She laughed at me. “I felt how many times you made love with the others. You are not just any man.”

“I am my love. I am just lucky that I have the healer to help me.”

This evening with Claudia was a little weird for me. It was as if we had forever and she liked to talk, ask questions and discuss everything. I could feel the arousal within her, but she seemed to have an understanding that letting us take our time would only build up the ultimate pleasure. Surely that kind of maturity only belongs to an older woman? I had to ask.

“Have you ever played with a boy this way?”

605

“No. Of course not. I saw what happened to Britta, I heard her crying at night. I thought it was going to be something very ugly and nasty. Anyway, no boys tried to touch me this way. Only one tried to kiss me once, but I told him he was disgusting.”

I chuckled, with my memories as a teen providing the empathy. “The poor guy, you must have shattered his ego.”

“You think so? Well, I suppose so, but I did not like him. He had horrible zits (σπυράκια) he kept picking at and he also smelt bad. I don’t think he ever brushed his teeth.”

“You sure have been unlucky in the males who wanted you.”

Her eyes actually crossed for a second as she pulled a face, but I could sense the grin inside her. “No, I think maybe your protector made sure I stayed…just for you.”

“No love, that I would never allow. You will always be free to make your own decisions.”

She tilted her head and stared at me, hiding her internal smile. “Do the others believe you when you say things like this? You first lock me in a cage until I do not want to ever leave and then you say I am free.”

“For an eleven year old girl you are exceedingly cynical.”

“Cynical? Maybe, but I think, less than I ever was before. At least now I believe in love.”

“Damn, but that was the loveliest thing you could have said.”

“I think you have talked enough. Are you going to take my virginity or not?”

“Oh, much later. Let’s see, it is nearly midnight. It will probably happen at about four o’clock.”

“Another four hours!”

“No. I was talking about four tomorrow afternoon.”

She pretended to think about it, but there were little sparkles of laughter in her eyes as she answered, “As long as we don’t spend the time till then just talking.”

“Claudia, you are one huge mess of contradictions. You can be so practical at times that you come across as hard. You are also cynical and yet, of all my loves, you are the most fun filled girl. You bring a joy to them and me that I do not experience often.”

I lay down next to her and she half climbed over me, placing her head on my chest. “You know why I can relax with you when you are about to take my virginity?”

“I have a feeling I’m not going to like the answer.”

“It is because I feel you do not want it. The boys at school, even the men, they boast about it, they are proud when they take a girl’s virginity, as if they won some kind of contest - which means the girl must have lost. With you I feel it is as if you want it, but also regret it.”

“Just what is your IQ? Did they test you at school?”

“About 142 I think, but those tests are silly.”

“For someone very intelligent it must feel like a normal human would feel if a chimp had designed the test. So, you are almost a genius!”

“I have acted so stupid since I met you, I think the test must have been wrong.” She lifted herself, straddling me as she sat on my chest. She began to play with my hair and just as the feelings she evoked relaxed me, the tips of her fingers ran over and into my ears. “Robbie, are the girls with us?”

606

“Yes they are. I’m sorry, I presumed you felt them, do you want them to leave?”

“What for? They are being very...what is the word?”

“Discreet?” She nodded and her fingers ran over my neck, the collarbones and onto my chest. She moved herself till she was sitting on my stomach and her fingers carried on their exploration. I usually try to avoid this as I get very ticklish, but she kept the pressure firm enough to avoid that. She pinched my nipples, wet her fingers with saliva and ran little rings around them, tweaking them a bit now and then.

“Robbie, you must tell me what to do. I do not know what you would like.”

“You’ve been doing a very good job up to now. As a rule, whatever you would find a pleasure so would I. Our pleasure spots are mostly in the same area.”

“I know the word for that, our erogenous zones.”

As she stuck her little finger into my belly button, she pulled herself a little backwards and exclaimed.

“Look, I made you wet!” She ran her finger in circles through the dampness. “It is slippery. It would be nice if I had enough to make you slippery from head to toes. Then I could slide my body all over yours.”

“I can turn you into a slug if you want. A pretty golden slug (γυμνοσάλιαγκας).”

“No, you be the slug.”

“Uh-huh, not a chance. I’ve made myself look silly for the girls too often, I don’t need to give them anything more to laugh at.”

“You don’t want to look silly even once for me?”

“I’ll make myself look silly for you a few thousand times and you will make me look silly many a thousand times more over our lifetime, but not today love - if I can avoid it.” I looked around. “I missed something just then.”

“What?”

“I am so used to Cherine grabbing at opportunities of that sort. She normally would have piped up with the answer, ‘you can’t avoid it’, or something of that sort.”

She nodded. “I like her. She is more clever than me, but never tries to show it. Only with you she shows how clever she is. That memory picture I saw of Wendy in Cherine, her bum, do you also do that?”

“Claudia, Wendy is also listening in!” The dismay I felt at her words were washed away by a giggle from Wendy and her reassurance that it is okay. She said they are all fascinated, they have never seen me seduce a virgin this way before and want to know if I am intending to take her virginity with words; she asked if this is this what they mean when they say that the ‘pen-is’ mightier than the sword.

“I heard that Wendy. You must wait. I want to give my virginity with happiness, to feel how much he loves me, not just the passion.”

“Is that what you are doing love?”

“What did you think? You thought I was talking because I am afraid? Robbie, I promise you, I will never be afraid of you, ever. Even if you want to make a hole like that in my bummy too.”

“Do not ever say that!! I would never do that! I only take and give with love and never would hurt any of you.”

She giggled, “I know. Just testing the waters Robbie.”

607

She climbed off me, sitting by my hips.

I swung my legs off the bed. “Come with me love.” We went to the bathroom and I washed her under the shower. Just enough to wash off the sweat. Even as I patted her dry she did not move, letting me handle her sweet body. I picked her up and carried her to our bed and laid her down.

I stared, delighted at the soft inner pinkness, the secret shapes inside.

“God it looks so fresh and brand new. It is beautiful.”

“Your healer changed it for you.” Shaken and instantly angry I sat up and looked back at her.

“What are you talking about? What did it do?”

“You will be angry with me. It will disgust you.”

“No love, nothing about you could disgust me. Please tell me.”

“For many years I kept getting a rash there, it was so burny and itchy - but my mother told me it is how it is for most girls and did not use any cream to make it better. It also started changing into a brown colour. I hated it. Your healer fixed the itchiness and took the brown away for me.” She became even shyer. “You will think I am very bad. I took a mirror to look.” She was almost in tears.

I sighed with relief. I turned up to her face and softly kissed her. “Who taught you that it is bad to be curious about your body? At least when you examine my body you will not have to struggle with a mirror.” I gave her a huge grin and she clamped her arms around me and drew me for a hard and passionate kiss. When I pulled away for a breath I saw the tears that glistened on her lashes.

“I was feeling so shy about this. I thought you would laugh at me and think I am a baby.”

“I do not always know what my protector and healer are doing, but you should never forget that they are a part of me, of my mind. They would never do anything to harm you or make you look silly. They did not even make you pink for my sake, though pink is the sexiest colour I can imagine; all they did is renew you so that your body is at its best. People say red is sexy. This coral pink,” I touched her nipple, “that lovely deeper pink inside your flower, all those pinks are so sexy they make me want to eat you up.”

To prove it I avidly returned to loving her and she soon began to spasm. There was no relaxing or sleeping for this girl of mine. Having known how her body can feel, the pleasure my touch gives her, she was hungry for more experiences.

Soon, as she explored whichever possibilities she could imagine, another flame of fire shot through the both of us, Cherine was wildly tossing our sensations backwards and forwards until we became one in an explosion that ripped through us. I felt all the girls back at home join us with their orgasms. It seemed to carry on forever and when we finally sank back down it was into a deep exhaustion. I thought, surely now she will need to rest.

“I wish I also had a penis. I would love to feel it inside you.” The girls gasped. They had not been so forward during their first times, while still virgins.

“We can do that another time. I can project for you so that you become the man and I become your little girl.”

“No. I want you to be the man - I will always want you to be the man. It would just be nice to feel what it would be like to fill you.”

“Are you sure you were not Oscar Wilde in your previous life?” She did not know who he was.

As her fingers began to roam all over me again, for the first time ever I had to plead for a rest. We sat up against the headboard and I had some chocolate. She did not want any, but had a Pepsi.

608

I opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony, letting the damp cold wind cool me down. When I began to shiver I returned to our warm bed and she clasped herself to me.

“Hmm, that feels lovely, you are so nice and cool.”

I laughed. “This is the first time any kid has called me cool.” She bit my ear in revenge and I yelped. As I pulled away she pouted her lips. “Do you think your blood would be as salty?”

“It is called semen and my blood is not available for you to taste. I thought you come from Viking stock, not vampire!”

“I just feel, oh Robbie, I have never felt like this…I want to know everything about your body. I want to taste everything.”

“A girl after my own heart.”

She took hold of my hand, bringing it to her face. Feather-light, her tongue licked my fingers. After the sexual releases I had enjoyed, the feeling was less erotic than it would have been, but more enjoyable for me as I watched her face. There was a fierce childlike concentration as she savoured the taste of me. After sucking at my fingers she slowly ran her tongue up the inside of my arm. I grew self-conscious as she approached the armpit. She sensed my discomfort and stopped a second to look up at me and smile, but her eyes were distant and I was not surprised to feel her continue. Her tongue was now beginning to arouse me as it travelled to my nipples and slowly down over my stomach.

The girls had all decided, early on, to link their senses to mine and the sensations within my body were being shared by all of them. I let Claudia become part of the pooling of my feelings and this led her to becoming more adventurous, searching out each nuance of feeling she could evoke. She was very adult in her self-control, not allowing her own pressures within her body to detract from her concentration on pleasuring me. She seemed determined to bring alive every single nerve-ending.

She paid me back for the ‘torture’ I have inflicted on each of the girls. The lust in me was calling out for me to turn around, but my mind and heart were also entranced by the feelings of adoration she was emitting. It was as if this were a holy moment for her and I, with the textures of my body, the odours of my sexual need for her, was an ideal of manhood to be venerated and stored in her memory forever. Not even Cherine has ever shown such depth of feeling, of love for my physical body. The closest perhaps being Diana. The girls and I were spellbound by her.

When she indicated for me to turn over, I found her huge eyes staring deeply into mine. “Ohh Robbie, will you really love me like this forever?”

“No, I’m afraid not sweetheart. I already love you more now than I did yesterday, so I think that my love is just going to keep on growing.” I put my hands to either side of her face and pulled her closer. “I will love you forever.”

It was as if her eyes, her thoughts, turned inwards, absorbed in some debate deep within herself. We all sensed her reach some kind of decision. “Robbie, it might sound silly, because I am only still a little girl and you are the first man I have ever loved, but I know that it is true - you really will love me. I’ll never have to be afraid that you will change your mind, even if I do some stupid things. I wish I could see so clearly into my own heart. All I can see is how much I love you now.”

“That will do for me, my love.”

“No! I want to know that I also will love you like this forever. I’ve never loved before, how can I be sure?”

“Age doesn’t help love. Not even experience. I guess we all just live and hope.”

We all became aware of Wendy. Silently, deep within herself she was weeping. She felt our concern, but would not open to us. Remembering the way Dommi had reacted the last time something like this happened, I kept out of her mind. All I could do was try to wrap her in my love, but this seemed to make her sadness more intense. Claudia was distressed and she turned to me.

“Robbie, we must go back. We have to be with her.”

609

“No love. I’m glad you said that, it shows how much you love her, but we are staying.”

“I can’t make love now!”

“Dommi, Cherine, I’m trying so hard to be a little selfish, but she is right. What can we do?”

Before they could answer me, Claudia was gone - her first ever jump! I felt her arms go around Wendy.

“Wendy. Can you sing to us of what is making you cry?”

I lay on the empty bed and waited. It felt right that I stay away. As if somehow it was I who was responsible and had to leave the girls alone. This was not the time to be self-indulgent (μαλθακός); I did not allow myself to be saddened. I kept my concentration upon my little Wendy.

And Wendy sang. Oh God how she sang. And her song spoke of the love, of the ‘knowledge’ of her love for me that would last all eternity. And it sang of the ‘knowledge’ of how my love for her will fade, of how I will weary of her. It sang of the emptiness and grief that will echo for as long as time exists.

The fears were the fears of a child, of a child who has been betrayed and hurt. But the song, it was mainly the song of a woman who sees her own future. Now it was that a grief of mine, at her fear and pain, at my failure to see it before, tore into me.

I swear I did not act with any conscious thought. I do not know what role the protector played in this, if any, helping me break the rules of physics (η φυσικη), though I suspect it was I that acted and it may have, at the most, but assisted me part of the way.

I knew where Wendy had lived with her mother, I had seen it in her mind. I arrived there to find Wendy and her mother. Wendy was but an infant. I searched for the father. Richard was not there, he probably was at sea. I flickered through time, appearing again and again, totally nude and frightening her mother. Finally, with Wendy a toddler of not more than two years old, I saw him.

He stared at me as I appeared in the air before him. There was instant terror in his eyes. I summoned the protector and tried to use it to reach in, to grab his heart and kill him. It would not obey. I was left with nothing but my own physical power. I flicked over to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and returning, stabbed at him. The bastard was fast. He avoided the stab and lashed out. His blow caught me on the chest. Stunned I managed to flicker out of reach.

I tried ‘jumping’ to within inches of him and stabbed. The knife cut into him, but he deflected the blow and grabbed me. He tore the knife out of my hand while his other hand grabbed me by the throat. I am not a fighter, my reactions are too slow. While throttling me, he grabbed at the knife and plunged it into my stomach. With one final effort I flicked back to my time and landed on my bed at the hotel. The knife was still stuck deep within me and I felt the fire of agony.

Within a second all the girls were with me, including Meli and my daughters. Samantha lunged at me, ripping the knife out. I screamed with the pain and fainted.

“For god’s sake Robert, what did you do?” I barely heard Dommi.

I sat there, still shocked by the pain I had been through, for the moment locked within myself. My wounds had all healed of course, but my mind was still in shock. Both from the pain and from my failure. Cherine came to me and the others made way for her. She stared into my eyes, sparks of anger lashing at me.

“That was stupid Robert. We would have lost Wendy forever.”

“It would have been better for her.” I hung my head and let the tears flow. I had never felt such a failure before.

“Cherine, you explain to us right now. What did he try to do. Why would we have lost Wendy.”

610

“Don’t shout at me Dommi. He is the idiot who nearly lost us Wendy. Ask him.”

I tried to explain. If I could have killed him before he infected his wife, then Wendy could have grown up with her mother, a normal happy girl. She would not have suffered as she did, she would not have been scarred in her mind and body. She would have been happy. We would have been happy knowing she was happy now.

Wendy asked in a small voice, “You would have been happy to be without me?”

“No! I would have been happy to know you can be a normal little girl again. To be without you, that would have broken my heart, not just me, for all of us. But that heartbreak, that pain would have been easier to bear than the pain of seeing you suffer on and on, seemingly without end. Wendy, it would have left a big emptiness, an ugly dark hole in our lives that nothing else could ever have filled for us, but at least you would have your mother and could live a normal life, the kind of life where you could believe in love.”

“A big ugly hole(?)...you mean like my bum was?” I could sense she was saying it deliberately, perversely (σκόπιμα αντίθετα τρόπο) testing me because of her own pain.

“A graphic but ugly thing for you to say Wendy. The little girl you would have been, would never even have known about something like that.”

Her face looked resigned, a deep sadness that broke out in a cry of despair, “I was right! You are tired of me and my ugly problems.”

Dommi walked up to her and I felt the struggle within her and then, before I could stop her, she slapped Wendy. They all froze in shock, though I sensed Cherine was not that shocked and actually wished she had done it.

“Dommi!”

“Shut up Robert.” She turned back to Wendy. “You are not a baby. You know how violence sickens him, two times he decides to kill and both times because of you. Then you dare to cry like a baby and claim he does not love you, knowing when you do it, you are hurting him. How can you Wendy? Even the sheets are still fresh with his blood!”

“Excuse me Dommi - does trying to kill the same person again count as two times?”

Dommi turned on me. “You keep quiet. You will not use humour to let her off the hook…and I haven’t finished with you either.”

I stood up and looked at the mess I was, I definitely needed a shower. I gently put my hand on her shoulder.

“Dommi love, you are right to an extent. But the fears in Wendy, they are real, she is not just being childish, and she does need help. Let me have a quick shower, give you all a hug, and then you can all go jump. You are not going to spoil my weekend with Claudia. Have a go at me when I return on Monday. Okay?"

I went to Wendy, to pat her cheek before going for my shower. She jumped up and hugged me.

“Shh baby. No need to cry. Despite all your fears, I do love you and always will. I promise you, we will have some time together, alone, after I return.” I saw she was covered in my blood. “You better use cold water to wash the blood off your clothes.”

Cherine offered, “I can clean it without…”

“No, I don’t want you to!” Wendy hugged herself as if to protect the blood on her.

“Cherine, I had forgotten. Can you and Wendy use your gift to clean the sheets? Save me having to think up a story for the hotel.” I went off to the showers. While in there I felt them all leave. I barely sensed Sam, but when she realised the game is up, she let me know why she was doing it. She had managed to surreptitiously take the knife with her and was planning to give it to Wendy as a souvenir, for her to keep as a reminder of how much I love her. I was not certain it was the right thing to do, but I left it to Sam to decide. Thanks to Samantha I realised something impossible had occurred - the knife had come forward in time with me! How does time justify its absence in the past?

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I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love.