Goodbye Steem
I'm really depressed. I used to love life and love making people laugh. I feel so fucking empty and dead inside. I've tried working out more, martial arts, I've read all sorts of mental health related things, meditation, its all so pointless to me, I have no spirit anymore. I don't enjoy interacting with people anymore. I don't enjoy creating anymore, ive tried making music and having plans to play live shows. I just feel this void. I don't enjoy cooking anymore. I don't enjoy hiking anymore. I don't want to go on medication. A failed business, failed relationships, looming bankruptcy, i need a grand to go bankrupt, i barely make any money driving people around, anxiety, despair, ive alienated my friends and i have no family that i can be weak in front of and ask for help. I finally got a decent job so hopefully things get better but im behind on car payments, behind on my insurance, my drivers license is now invalid because i cant afford the monthly surcharges, im cashing out steem just to eat, the only people that call or text me are creditors, 100 times a day. I've become a shell of my former self. Its all my fault. My weaknesses are my fault. I don't know what to do. To everyone thats been cool thank you. I wish you all the best and I wish this blockchain the best. I want to face my loneliness and isolation and maybe find some joy again. I'm not suicidal but if i could just flip a switch i think i would. I deleted facebook, but that takes 30 days, i deleted discord but that takes 14 days, i deleted my instagram, i wish i could delete this but i can't. I hate myself, i hate my life. Goodbye steem.
I wish I can tell you everything is all roses and rainbows, cause life is fucking hard man. I understand. ONe thing I can tell you, is I am here for you to talk anytime, so is canna. Wish i had money, i would send it to you. All i got to give you is myself. Whenever your ready, your always welcome. Take care man
I go through this exact same thing regularly. Depression is a motherfucker and is not the easiest to get out of. I agree that psychedelics could help you get a grasp on the rim of the pool and keep you from drowning. It is one of my go tos when I feel my cycle fall to the bottom of the parabola.
Swoop sorry to hear your not feeling it anymore, I can see how those factors are stressing you out. But I hope with your new job maybe it's an opportunity to get out of a hole. And friends can always be made.. theres a ton of people on this planet.. always new people to make new relationships with when your ready.
Posted using Partiko Android
swoop, I think I might speak for many by saying that many people love and care about you. personally i know what you are going thru. I've been there. take a break. i suggest you try to stop judging yourself so harshly, putting so much pressure on yourself and buying into the guilt. it gains you nothing.
we all make mistakes. even if we don't, it seems like the world is sometimes against us. focus on getting your stuff in order then try again. one of the best viewpoints i heard was that you might need to make a huge number of attempts before you succeed.
i've failed at relationships, jobs, hobbies - so what? should i go about hating myself? be depressed for the rest of my life? how counter productive is that? the important thing is to find the things that bring you joy and let that be enough. for me its taking photos, collecting dead flowers and finding ways to let people know i care, even if i get nothing back. would i like more? of course. but i am happy with what i have, and that is the key to being a success, in my mind.
hope this helps. take care and you are always welcome to come back when you want. hugs
side note: just came across this. L Frank Baum, who wrote Wizard of Oz, "Baum failed as an actor, as a salesman, and in other careers—he moved his family in 1888 to Aberdeen, Dakota Territory, in what is now South Dakota. He opened a store (which failed) and a newspaper (which failed, too). "
He didnt have his first success until age 41. He was also racist against native americans. go figure.
Swoooop!
Don't go!
I've been feeling this lately too. I know that doesn't help, but there it is.
I have no answers for you, other than keep living, keep trying, don't give up.
Deleting Facebook was probably a good thing. 😏
Imma send you a message in Discord, just in case you don't come back here... but I know you will, at least to cash out the Steem from this post to eat.
Many of us have been there.
It's hard when you have no one to reach out to. But here you DO.
Reach out. We may be all far away, but we can be close.
We still don't know where we are moving, but if Shane gets a job in El Paso I was looking forward to hanging out if we are close enough.
I don't really know what to say. I've been that depressed before and nothing anyone else said to me ever helped. I care about you though.❤️
YOU are NOT alone in feeling this way. I have these exact struggles my friend. I DO nt have an answer as to how to stop feeling this. I DO think it is like waves, they roll in silently and break violently. The plus side, after the break,,there is that moment of calm and clarity. I DO KNOW THIS...going deeper into THYSELF is often time a hard place to crawl back out of. I think a ton of people here would agree, we love you man and do not wish to see you go. I hope your wave breaks, and you find that clarity again. Never quit, never give up, even if it seems the easier thing to do.
~RESPECT~
Remember that there are people like me. Enough said.
talk to me on discord <3 also I am bipolar and while i generally do ok off meds if i get hit with deep depression i need them . It's chemical it not weakness the chemicals will just bring you levels back up please consider it ..i am really worried about this post ...talk to me on Discord ok <3
i know things look like shot right now but it will get better if you keep chipping away at it <3
hey dude sorry to read this. I just went through bankruptcy process myself, it took a bit of extra work to file pro se but definitely saved me money - there really isn't any reason to pay a lawyer. Of course you have to pay the filing fee in any case but it sounds like if you are talking about a grand that you are planning to pay a lawyer - nothing is particularly complicated about filing yourself. You probably aren't looking for advice in this post but you can (and probably should if it is bothering you) tell your creditors in writing to stop contacting you and they are legally obliged to cease. Read more here: https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2016/01/how-stop-calls-debt-collectors
Anyhow, good luck dude. Sorry to hear shit is sucky for you and I hope it turns around.