The ultimate survival

in #stach6 years ago

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"How could you feel normal, how do you manage to be fearless after all that has happened?, is life not scaring?"
He asked hung back and dismayed of what might come out as an answer.
Looking at her naive innocence I smiled.
"nothing goes as expected. I swear, not a speck of my existence is normal."
It's all a struggle, it's survival techniques I have gained control of over the years.
On some days. I'll look so excited, that I turn my pain into passion. Translating all the piercing cries into an outward triumph of achievements.
Doing everything more than required!.
Misery barely understood... Some days, I look normal drowning my innermost calmness in world's dissonance, looking for meaning in every life. Bad dreams pushed aside I play deaf just to be normal. And for some days, I'm almost not alive. Silent, empty, lost, beaten up and wounded... This is where I know I am actually loosing it. Tied with rocks and thrown into the misery ocean, I know I am gasping for life. Hopefully someone notices.
Everyday I wait for someone to hold my tired hands and pull me out,
Resuscitate me and bring me back to life, lead me to warmth. Waiting for someone to do something!!!.
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And then, at other days, this waiting stops!, my eyes wide open I see myself drowning. Drowning so hard I feel myself hit the ocean floor hard where i see myself lying lifeless!, This ME is dead and almost painless, the ME seeing myself dying, in torment! and trust me, there is nothing normal about seeing yourself die every other day. Feeling nothing or everything all at once!, It is never normal and it is not about standing bravely to whatever life throws at you always, It is mostly about surviving just another day, another intense difficulty, another bruise.
My heart yelled but all I could say to her was
"you'll get used to all that has happened to you, you will get used to life".

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If its real, such a person needs much love and attention

Dear friend, you do not appear to be following @wafrica. Follow @wafrica to get a valuable upvote on your quality post!

I believe you are talking about difficult times someone is passing through, someone need to be brave cos life brings ups and down.

Life is full of survival stories, only the tough make it unscratched. I love your story @silver001

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