My Crazy Peculiar Life And My Inevitable Defeat 😟🗡💪🏼⚰steemCreated with Sketch.

in #steem4 years ago

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My Blood-cleaning Schedule Is Revamped

I thought that the schedule was just temporarily moved from Tuesday to Monday, so now I will have to go for my dialysis at my new schedule of Monday and Friday. So I will just adjust a little because my nurses are strategically isolating patients like me who is positive for Hepatitis infection to other patients who are "clean" so to speak from that dreaded disease.

Well too late for me in my case because that dialysis center had given me an additional virus that now will be in tandem in taking down my formidable liver. I am not sure if the future liver ailment will take me down first or my current kidney or even my weak bone issue if I happen to break my back in the process.

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My Liver Is Just Currently Battered By Two Major Viruses

I have so many diseases that it really is crazy to think about it. It is that instance where instead of crying you will just giggle by yourself because of your out of this world, one of a kind "loco" life. Sometimes I just want to just shoot myself on the head and end it all.

Oh my, what a life I have. If I would enumerate my body's imbalances and illnesses the reader would say that it is just unbelievable. But it is a reality and I have to face the music otherwise I will succumb in an unglorified defeat. Well unglorified or glorified defeat it is still a defeat in the end. The question is what kind and how long will I have to suffer from misery before my final destination.

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There's A Great possibility Of Defeat In My Kind Of Battle

It is just overly frustrating and heart-breaking to know that I really can't walk anymore and peep at the sun or go out on the road and look around, be with my "friends", acquaintances, former classmates that I missed a lot, or even my churchmates even though we are just in common with our spiritual beliefs but still I missed going to church.

I missed going to the mall too where I would roam the whole mall and just window shopping and looking around especially to my favorite gun store where I dreamed of buying that rifle and just maybe use it for plinking practice. I could not afford it before but now that I could afford several I now do not have the capacity to use it and enjoy shooting targets with it.

I also missed cooking, I was the one cooking here at the house for many years when my mother is busy at the store. I would volunteer that I will be the one who would cook because I have specifications for the taste. To boast it I am really a better cook compared to my other members of the family because the taste of the viands that I cook are superb even the way I cook the rice, it is perfect.

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I Can Never Go Back And Do My Former Activities, Hobbies, And Other Passions In Life

Now I can never do all that and is now just confined in my room which is now my prison cell. I don't know how my siblings are thinking about my situation but I hope that they are not affected by what happened to me. But I think that they are proud of me because at least I am earning and is not burdening them with what I am needing with my medical necessities and that is just what is important to me.

It was hard when I was just starting with my dialysis, my mother has her full attention to me and then out of the blue my eldest brother exploded stating why my mother is always thinking about me. I was speechless and just kept things to myself and never thought that my eldest brother even would have said that.

But I felt sorry for all my siblings because I just robbed them off with the attention of our mother. My mother explained to my eldest brother why, because of the obvious reasons, that I was sick. I don't know if my eldest brother understands but I am just letting him be and not bothering him for any thing big or small which could give him the slightest problem from me.

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At Least Now I Could Support Myself Via Online Effort And Never To Bother My Siblings Financially


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