17 Day STEEM Hiatus: Psychosis, Passion and the Tri-polar Personality

I've decided to stop my power down. I'm no failure and I wont give up on STEEM, but more specifically, us. This community is something I find to be very special and I do consider myself a part of it.

To quickly address the issues which prompted my power down and hiatus:

1: I found myself digitally throwing up frustrations onto the platform, which was quite embarrassing.

2: Ned's ability to disrupt my fostered relationship with Dsound.

Can we fork out his wallet? 70% of STEEM in one account is not decentralized enough in my opinion, though rather than run away from STEEM I feel it's best to bring attention to the subject.

Ethereum has EIPs
The Ethereum Improvement Proposal repository
https://github.com/ethereum/EIPs.git

Lisk has LIPs
Lisk Improvement Proposal repository
https://github.com/LiskHQ/lips

Can we establish a SIP - Steem Improvement Proposal repository?

3: Consecutive Dtube upload errors. This becomes extremely frustrating when several hours are wasted with failed uploads.

4: Too much time spent on STEEM.

5: Expectations of higher upvotes from videos that take several days to make.
This video specifically. Yes, I understand it's not about STEEM and can be seen as blockchain competitor if anything.. But, who the hell am I to set expectations of others.. Plus, I love making videos like this so why self destruct? I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.

6: The space between my ears. It can be a dark and lonely place at times. I'm not looking for sympathy.. just connecting the dots between thought process and at times irrational behavior and

With all this being said, I have continued to use STEEM as a crypto educational tool, and it is the go-to light arrow in my quiver. How can I not tell others about a platform where you can earn free crypto. I love to teach, that is where I find passion, whether it be about blockchain and cryptocurrency, anarchy, spirituality and God, organic chemistry or even art.

My creations spawn from my feelings and understanding of the world around me.

I certainly suffer from multiple personality disorder, and it's hard getting to know myselves. I don't like them and they don't like me. Paranoia, Anger, Sadness and Depression is what they love to live in. There is the self destructive bridge burner who doesn't care about anything and wants to be alone. Or the one who feels like everyone is out to get him and use him. To the loving, caring and passionate creator inspired by nature, mathematics psychology, technology & psychedelics.

I'm a work in progress Steemians.. I can only realize the present and move forward. I did make a video a few weeks back for @dtubefamily777 that aims to better help you understand who I am and why I'm like me.. Here's that video

I'm not too sure who even reads this stuff or has any interest in me.. On that same token, I'm not looking for fame though I do feel my work is profound for those who can understand it, and keeping Illuciferium in my head brought me to the verge of insanity. I also feel that it is important to understand who the theory came from. It's not about me, I was just the channel for this information. Illucifer is the character I developed to cast the spell of Illuciferium, his gift to the universe, to you, to humanity.. Or, better said, the Universe's gift to itself. the true factualization of God.. and bringing awareness to how we are all the Gods of our time. Now, Spirit.. is a much more incomprehensible topic of discussion..

"We actually worship incomprehensibility as the highest form of explanation."
-Terrence McKenna

If you care to take a look at Illuciferium here is the link

We live in a very dark and tormenting time.. There is a spiritual war at play and I am solider fighting the darkness within me and around us.

Note to self - think and move with the heart.. the thoughts that race through my head are like the countless radio stations being received by this antenna-like brain.. They are merely ideas from the others.. Choose and channel wisely. Aim for peace, self love and anarchy.