The Vainglory Effect: Why We Actually Need To Love Ourselves Too!

Some say that you should live your life as if you are on camera 24/7, every day, of every year until your last breath. Imagine you are on camera, your entire life being recorded, imagine your children being sat down one day, sat down to watch this life video of his or her mother and father...

The question is, how would you feel? Would you feel shame if they watched it? Would you feel pride having them watch it? The point is, you can choose. You can choose to live a life that would make you feel proud having your kids watch this or you can choose a life that would make you feel shame. What's your choice?

Now, I am not here to give you a step by step method to self love. The reason is that we all have different paths, we all do things differently and that is what makes us unique. So, I would like to tell you about what I have done, the processes and challenges I have gone through to get to this point in my life, to get to this point of self love and respect, as well as to get to this point with my mindset. ESPECIALLY my mindset. There is no right or wrong way of doing it, as long as you give your soul the "food" it needs to grow.

THE BEGINNING

To start off, I have to admit a few things, and those are, that I was an obnoxious spoiled brat, that appreciated absolutely nothing that life or my loved ones gave me. If I didn't get my own way, I would manipulate and play the victim to get things that I wanted. How long did it take me to figure that out? 32 years! Now lease, don't get me wrong, this is not a self loathing post. In fact, quite the opposite. However, this is a good example of accountability.

In order for me to get to where I want to be in my body and mind, I HAD to start taking accountability. So, I would take time to meditate, I would think about my life to see where things went wrong, what could have been the cause and how can I grow from this experience. These are questions that still frequent my mind regularly and they are great. This way, you can say that you are sorry, when you are able to own up to what you need to own up to, you feel remorse and that is good The little problem with remorse, is that it comes with guilt. Now the guilt is not so easy to get rid of, but it is possible if you continue to practice your life as if you are on camera.

You see, accountability is not about running yourself down and making yourself feel bad, it was all about taking responsibility for my mistakes in my past, saying okay, "I did this", if gives you the chance of starting fresh, starting at the beginning again and giving you another chance to live the life that your kids would be proud of if they saw that video they were making of you.

So as I have been growing, I have been realizing the mistakes in my past and realized that it is time for me to forgive myself, instead of persecuting myself I decided, it is time to give myself some love. I had read all about this self love theory and thought to myself, "How is this even possible".

Comments I would see often while reading these texts about self love, "Year right, easier said than done", yup, I was as skeptical as you are right now...... but after some time, I started truly understanding what it means to love yourself. Self love is not an egotistical thing, it is not that arrogant chop that walks around blowing his/her trumpet about how great they are. Self love is when you look at yourself in the mirror, and say, "hey, I like the person that I see before me", it is a feeling of self acceptance and gratitude. One bit of advice that I can offer here is to really hone in on your strengths, do what you KNOW you are good at!!!

I spent a few years in admin positions, which I HATED with the biggest passion. It was horrible, I procrastinated so much because I was so damn bored and just couldn't motivate myself to move with the work...... Eventually I stopped and started teaching English, 6 years later i still teach English and I absolutely love it. It challenges me, I don't get bored t all and I know that I need a schedule to work with so it fulfills my needs and I love what I do. So, try to look at yourself, think about what you are good at, like really really god at and just do it. Stop saying that there is not enough time, make time!!!

If you want to quit a job you hate because you want to go ahead and start a business doing something you love, do it!!! This is the ultimate show of self love and faith. Just take a little leap of faith, not the type that you are unsure of and will destroy your whole life and family. We all have intuitive gifts, whether you believe it or not, so find out what yours is and use it a bit.....

GRATITUDE IS THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

You know, as hard as life might be be right now, and I know that it is, but there is good news. The good news is that a little bit of gratitude goes a very long way. Why do I say that? Well, as I am sure that you have heard, the energy that you put out to the Universe, is mirrored right back at you. So if you are ungrateful, you are allowing ego to take over and this is a very negative feeling, therefore that negativity will bounce right back at you.

On the opposite scale, sending out positivity and happy vibes, will be mirrored back at you. By showing yourself some love, some TLC, by taking care of YOU, will make you feel good! That good feeling that you have in the pit of your tummy, it will only bring you even more abundance. I started writing lists of things that I am grateful for, focusing on what I have and being thankful for the blessings in my life. Sure I had a whole lot of challenges, but I tried to continue thinking about everything that I have and I slowly started forgetting about the negative things that would come to my mind..... they still come, but then I close my eyes, I say the words "accept and release", as many times as necessary and you will feel the thought disappear. Gratitude is an imperative part of the growth process, feel the gratitude and your heart will be happy.

A LITTLE PAMPERING

I started this part of my journey at the end of last year. This was a bit harder than I thought though. I used to think pampering was about facials and spending hundreds on nails and all of that jazz. Now I am not a girly girl, and although I like a bit of pampering now and then, I am not one to go out on a limb to look like a barbie doll. I just want to be me and to be comfortable with me. So I started bathing instead of showering, putting some bath salts in there and having a little meditation to go with it and using this time for ONLY ME.

I realized that I have to take care of me. I know that it sounds cliche, but I needed to change my whole lifestyle or else I was going to end up nowhere and unable to do anything for anyone. So, I changed my lifestyle, I lost 24kgs which I desperately needed to do. I started looking after my body's skin, which was so dry that it would flake. I still have some things that I am working on, like healing my back. After I lost weight, I started getting some back pain and it turns out that I had a herniated disc, and let me tell you it has been excruciating. But thank goodness I have avoided surgery through patience, regular weekly visits to the chiropractor and lots and lots of meditation and self healing.

Loving yourself is not selfish, it is necessary. it brings about a feeling of self respect. It is like, I respect my body and mind that much that I feel that it is necessary for me to look after it. Although I am still finding my path, I know that I am on the right track and have been working hard at self development and self growth. It is so important for you to feel like you are growing, So read, and read some more. It doesn't matter what your interests are, READ!!!!! Learn something new, something that you always have wanted to do or to learn about, but there is always an excuse, like that you don't have enough time. Stop making excuses, stop holding yourself back and do something because you WANT to!

To end this post off, I want to ask you, please take care of yourself first. It really will make the world of difference in your life. It will make you feel more connected to the Universe, to your family and most of all, to yourself. I have learned more about myself in the last 10 months since I started this self love journey than I have in my 32 years here on earth. All because I have taken some time to get to know myself. Remember, we grow, we change, and although looking at yourself from the outside in can be daunting, I promise you that the effort will be well worth it. You will feel on top of the world, you will feel like you have the power of Zeus and that you can overcome anything that blocks you. Go for it, do it, do what you love and love what you do. I hope that you found some ideas in my article and please feel free to comment and give me some feedback.

Namaste blessed ones, may you all find your inner peace, as I have. Also, if you like the topic of this post, please let me know because I have a few more things that I can add into a part 2.

I look forward to hearing from you!!!