Getting to know your sexuality - Information for teens and young adults
Once you become a teenager and start going through puberty, you will start noticing the opposite (or the same) sex.
Getting to know yourself and knowing what your sexuality is will not necessarily happen over night. It may take a while, but the good news is that there is no time limit on this.
The most important thing is that you will know and understand you preferences and be able to live with it.
It is very difficult for some people to admit to others that they are gay and they will live a life of lies just because they are scared of what people may say or do.
Nobody wants to be bullied or not be excepted, but it is also important that you feel comfortable with who you are and also look after your own happiness.
If you are gay and you feel ready to 'come out' it will not always be easy and unfortunately there will always be people that want to make you feel bad.
These people are mostly people who do not understand you being 'different' and the are scared of the unknown. These people are called 'homophobic'.
It is very important that you remember that you are not doing something wrong by being true to your sexuality, the problem is with them.
It is not your job to convince them that you as a person have not changed. If they cannot except you for who you are, the are unfortunately not a good friend. There will be enough people that will love and except you.
If you have decided you want to 'come out' to you family and friends, here are a few tips
- it must be your decision to tell others. Do not feel that you have to. If you do not feel right about it or ready to do it, give yourself some time until you feel ready
- choose one person that you can trust to tell it too
- before you tell them, think about what you would like to say - if you feel confident about who you are and not ashamed of yourself (which you do not have to be), it will be so much easier to find the words- speak from your heart
- choose a place where you feel relaxed and comfortable
- once you have told one person you will soon feel better to tell others and the more you do it, the easier it will be
There are a few types of sexual orientation and it can be confusing.
If you are attracted to the same sex you are gay or lesbian or homosexual. Gay is usually used for men and lesbian for women, but some prefer that you just say 'gay'.
If you are attracted to both sexes, you are bisexual.
If you are not attracted to any of the sexes, you are asexual.
If you are attracted to the opposite gender, you are heterosexual. These are what we see mostly among people, but that does not mean that there is something wrong with you if your sexuality is different.
Some people have different gender identities as what they were born as, which means you were born a boy, but you relate more to being and feeling like a girl. This is called being transgender.
We all differ from one another and we feel differently about certain things and people. It is the same with your sexual orientation.
Nobody can decide for you what your preferences are and only you can figure it out in your own time. Some teens know from when they were very small what their sexual orientation is and others only learn it later.
If your friend comes to you and tell you that they are not heterosexual, do not judge. It has taken a lot of courage for them to do that and it does not change the person,
My friend said Love do not choose a gender, it chooses a soul. -
