Is it offensive to use the word 'gay' or say something like 'That is so gay'? - Information for kids and teens

We all different from one another and some people are in relationships with the same sex, which mean they are gay. That is their choice and you need to respect their wishes.  They are being true to themselves and you have no right to be disrespectful about it.

Some people tease children or adults who are gay and belittle them.  Sometimes you will even hear some of your friends saying things like 'That is so gay' when you did or say something.  Is this disrespectful or acceptable?

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To use the word 'gay' is not offensive if you refer to someone who is gay.  In the olden days 'gay' meant to be happy, but it can become offensive if you use it to belittle someone or make them feel bad about themselves.  Some people will call someone 'gay' even if they are not and that can offend the person.

 But some kids use the word "gay" in a negative or mean way, as if it's an insult. When they don't like something or think something is weird, or they want to make fun of someone, they might say, "That's gay" or "You're so gay." 

Some kids do not even know the meaning of the word or they do not think that it can be hurtful to others.  You must set an example and if you hear your friends use 'gay' as an insult, explain to them that it can be hurtful to others and nobody likes a bully.  If you talk to your friend about this, do not be angry or insulting, because then you are not helping and are being a bully yourself.  Just mention it in a calm way, without making your friend feel bad.

Your friends might ask you questions, like, "What's wrong with saying that?" You can say, "It makes gay people and their family and friends feel bad." Many kids who learn this will just say, "I didn't know that" or "OK" and stop using the word in a rude way. 

Unfortunately there will always be kids that will make fun of you for speaking up and they will even say things like 'Are you gay that it worries you?', they can also tease you by saying mean things.  Do not back down.  Be the person that want to be kind to others.

You do not need to be gay in order to ask people not to use the word in a disrespectful way.  You can be a 'straight' boy or girl that just do not like anybody else to feel bad.  It is the same as calling somebody 'stupid' or a 'retard'.  

Words and the way they are used can be hurtful, so if you feel that your friend or a stranger are making someone feel bad about themselves, speak up.  Even if people tease you about it, you will know that you are doing the right thing.   Your true friends and people that care for you, will respect you more for doing this.

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