Resilience as a key to success in life: Nobody can harm me!

Traumatic experiences have a very different effect on people. While some can really break it, others emerge stronger from crisis. The technical term for this ability is resilience. But is it natural or can it be learned?

Jack and Stanley were there when Hurricane Katrina almost completely destroyed New Orleans. Both lost their homes and both came in contact with distress, misery and death and had to stand by and watch the natural disaster completely disrupt their lives. Jack has never recovered, he suffers from the episodes of "Katrina" today and has not regained his foothold. The hurricane was not just a catastrophe for Jack, but a destructive cut in his life that still has its effects today.

Things were very different for Stanley. He has experienced almost identical things as Jack, but today he is well again, even better than ever. He has built up something new and not only survived the catastrophe through a tremendous amount of willpower, but also showed her the cold shoulder. Why is it that two people react so differently to similar crises? Alone childhood can not always serve as an explanation, neither with Jack nor with Stanley. Prominent examples prove this in addition. Personalities such as Hans-Olaf Henkel or Gerhard Schröder prove this impressively. Both grew up under anything but optimal conditions - they were half-orphans and lived as children from hand to mouth - so there has to be another explanation. The field of resilience may continue to help.

No magic, but the belief in oneself

What qualities do people, who have a high level of resilience, usually show?

• People of resilience have a high self-efficacy expectation. What sounds at first glance as if they are putting themselves under great pressure means the exact opposite, meaning the belief in the effectiveness of their actions.

• Their self-worth do not couple with success. Rather, they value themselves realistically and set goals whose achievement does not have a utopian character.

• Problems or difficulties are seen primarily as challenges. The coping succeeds easier, because people of resilience do not go into the victim role or only briefly. Then it becomes active behavior, coupled with irrepressible optimism.

There is no indication of what resilience does not mean: resilience does not mean being invulnerable or unassailable. On the contrary, affected people realize very well when they are at a point that requires help. Getting this help is part of the personality structure.

Extreme examples in research

The phenomenon of resilience was investigated by American psychologists Emmy Werner and Ruth Smith back in the 1970s and 80s. To get meaningful results, they went to Hawaii, more precisely: the island of Kauai. There they watched 689 children, all born in 1955. Not all, but some of these children grew up in difficult conditions, which included a low level of education, but also poverty and mental illness of the parents. That part of the children took criminal careers was not surprising given the difficult conditions. But another part of the "risk children" escaped despite unfavorable conditions of crime and developed not only good, but excellent. Conspicuous to Werner and Smith was also that successful children had good looks, had plenty of temperament and were intelligent. Frequent smiles played an important role, as well as the ability to develop good reading skills early and to quickly develop language skills.

Mentors are important

As varied as the children studied were, those with resilience showed a commonality that was already noticeable at that time and that it still is today. Resilient people have a very important caregiver from an early age. It does not have to be a father or a mother, and a teacher, mentor or good friend can fill this role. It is about sympathy and support of the personality that is growing. For example, children with, for example, depressed parents can emerge as healthy and successful people from childhood as long as they have a helping hand.

Can you learn resilience?

Not only for children, but also for adults: Existing resilience protects us from the serious consequences of crises. The question is whether it is learnable. That's not exactly true, certain skills are certainly there, others are not. However, experts recommend educating them to show children what they can do and what they have achieved to create the resources needed later to survive the crisis without prejudice. Also, membership in clubs can help to develop resilience, because cohesion and cohesion create inner strength and the feeling of not being alone.

Jack, who broke into "Katrina", did not have a friend to help him with the crisis during the crisis. Stanley had one. And despite all the cruelty that "Katrina" brought with her at the time, Stanley and his best friend brought her even closer.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.

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