We just want your best - that's how children understand what it means

in #steemiteducation5 years ago (edited)

We just want your best - that's how children understand what it means

We parents know better, of course. We have more life experience, greater vision and just the overview. This is not easy for children to understand and difficult for us parents to convey - and sometimes we even go one step or the other too far.

"No, you can not stay at Matthes again, you have this week already!" Only the best for the child, of course. But how should that be understood? An explanation would be the facts, as we see them: overnight visits cost strength, which is then not there for the school. This, in turn, can affect the school leaving certificate and therefore the whole life. Whether your child will understand that you want only his best?

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What is the best for the child?

We feel very responsible for our children and so are we. We guide and guide a life in the right direction and do it as well as we can. Depending on how we are knitted, we leave our children more or less freedom, regulate it strongly or just a little bit. To sum up, the best thing for a child is what does not hurt him, keeps him from hurt and pain, and directs him to a pathway where he will someday be able to take care of himself, take responsibility, and to control his own life. So far so good. Now we just have to put all these big goals into practice and then explain to our child why we set certain rules and set limits.

"That's not good for you" - How to promote your child's understanding

If you forbid your child from (anything), then you should give him a good reason why this prohibition exists - do not underestimate your child. If you tell him "fairy tales", it will probably find out. Understand why you do not want your five-year-old to go to the ice cream parlor alone, which is only three blocks away: you are worried that he will not be able to cope with traffic and suffer or cause an accident. They fear that he will run away, they are afraid that he will be approached by a stranger and does not know how to behave.

If you have collected your reasons yourself, you should tell them to your son. There are some pitfalls to consider. Because children want to be taken seriously. They want to be trusted with something. Now, if you name all of these reasons to your child, you signal above all: I'm scared because I do not trust you. That's not good - not for your child and not for the relationship between them. So you formulate your concerns so that your child does not take it too personally. As far as road traffic is concerned, you can refer to its height. As far as that goes, he can not read the street signs because he's not in school yet. Thirdly, you should explain to him carefully and child-friendly what can happen to a child when it comes to strangers.

So the principle is to give the child arguments, why it should not do something that has nothing to do with his personality, "practical constraints", so to speak. Your child will still not be happy that you forbid him something, but it will understand the reasons. If you also point out that in one, two or three years, the situation looks very different, your child will be able to wait and have to.

When does the best stop - interventions in the right to self-determination

Everyone has a right to settle their affairs freely and without external interference. Of course, this definition of self-determination can not be fully applied to children. Nevertheless, parents should never forget that every human being has this birthright. In education this means that parents have to intervene and control, if necessary, but each child must be able to make their own decisions to a tolerable level. This is not least because, as an adult, being able to shape and organize his life.

Protect your child from danger, but leave him the space it needs to develop into a self-confident personality.

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I like the whole concept of your post from a dad's perspective. This kind of post is needed on the platform. Nice.

i wrote a lot of more of these Dad--Chronicals... I want to share my thought of being a DAD--- and maybe a lot of more Dads should join this fun ;)

Thank you Sir, that is great work!

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