Why do children tell lies?

The vast majority of children lie at some point in their lives. Children under the age of five, in their fantasy universe, generally do not distinguish reality. However, when children get used to lying past this age, this manifests a problem of insecurity or low self-esteem that is convenient to investigate and treat. For this reason it is very important that parents do not lie to their children, since they are their main model and example.

All human beings lie at some point in our lives because of shame, interest, convenience, desperation or simple need. Lies grow and progress with our way of being. However, if the lie is frequent and affects our lives and those of the people around us, it becomes a dangerous disease.


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What motivates children to lie?

The studies carried out on this subject show that, when it consists in not expressing the truth, the reasons are not very different from those of the elderly. The motivations for which children lie are the following:

  • Frustrated children: this happens when a child expresses that he has a large number of toys when in reality he has very few.

  • Capture attention: children usually invent an upset or create a difficulty that does not exist to attract the attention of adults, sometimes because they feel badly cared for.

  • Imitate behaviors: Parents are the main example and role model of children, if adults lie to get some benefit also the little ones will do it.

  • They fear being punished: Fear of reprobation or punishment from their parents is one of the main reasons for lying in childhood. Children transform reality to prevent being punished.

Children lie for fear of failure and punishment, although sometimes they just mimic their parents' insincere behavior.

Children's lies, at what age do they begin?

The specialists mark the age of seven as the beginning of the stage of childhood lies. These lies, they say, have a clear and defined intentionality, oriented to distort and distort reality to obtain a benefit. In previous periods, the children's lies are rather part of the imagination of the child, a reflection of his inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Strategies to stop lying at an early age

  • The child needs to know that lying is negative. When the child lies, it is not necessary to point out only the inappropriate behavior that lies in the lie. We must also influence the effect that his lie has on others and the consequences that may have caused.

  • Punishments must be well measured and appropriate to each fault. If they are always too severe, the temptation not to tell the truth to avoid them will be greater.

  • Reinforce the child's self-confidence to avoid lying in order to seek the approval of his peers or other adults.

  • Do not lie or pronounce false promises that you know can not be fulfilled. You do not have to give a wrong example about lying.

  • Give him the opportunity to be honest, even if this implies a punishment. Parents must reinforce the courage they show by telling the truth.

  • Do not laugh or admire the child's lies, even if they seem funny. The little ones should not appreciate any kind of approval or acknowledgment of a lie.

  • Parents often lie to difficult questions of their child, who can not answer. The guideline is to avoid falsehood and respond better with I do not know or let me think about it.


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What should parents do?

  • You must be an example for them and not even resort to "white lies". If they listen to their parents lying - no matter how harmless it sounds - a bad example and a precedent is brewing for kids to lie: if daddy and mommy do it, it should be fine.

  • Make the child see the chain effects of the lies and how they can have devastating repercussions. You can use examples or role playing to dramatize with them a scene that illustrates what can happen after a lie.

  • Demonstrate to children that they are valued and loved at all times and that it is not necessary to exaggerate or lie to be loved. Some children exaggerate with phrases like My teacher is taller than the building or Iwas the best of the whole class, of the whole school and of the whole world as a way to get attention and thus achieve approval.

  • Always make them feel that despite their mistakes and mischief, they are loved and that although they receive a punishment for their actions, the affection does not change.

  • Be firm and show them that lying is unacceptable. You can not let them pass a lie because by justifying one, you are sending adverse messages to the child. It's almost as if you're giving him permission to do it.

  • Give a reward for telling the truth or admitting a fault. A child who boldly admits his guilt is worthy of admiration. Maybe you can let him know that his punishment will be less severe for recognizing his mistake.

  • Emphasize that there are always consequences of their actions: remind them that you are upset by their actions and that you have been disappointed.

  • Teach him the value of the truth: sometimes a lie can cause a lot of damage, but telling the truth is rewarded. The distrust behind the lies implies that at some point no one believes in their words, the fable of the lying little shepherd is a good way to teach them the harm of not being honest.

thanks to @steemiteducation for supporting educational content

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Children tell lie because of several reasons: Two common reasons may be that they imitate their elders, and that they want to protect themselves from punishment.

They learn it from adults.

Lies should never be encouraged. You have provided great tips on how to deal with it

It is so friend, sincerity is the most beautiful thing that can exist in a person. "lies have short legs"

One of the main values ​​that parents should teach is to say the Truth, regardless of the consequences that it implies, always telling the truth is the best for everyone. It frees the soul and turns us into transparent and trustworthy people.
The only thing to avoid is confusing "Tell the Truth" with "gossip".
Good post!

Thank you brother, that's how integrity makes a person beautiful. regards

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