SCHOOL FOR PARENTS: Dad, do not compare me to other children.

All the children are different. There are not two identical children in the world. Even the twins, who have the same appearance, differ from each other in their characters. In other words, each child has unique characteristics, so it would be wrong to compare it with other children.

SourceIn the modern educated world, people still compare themselves and other people: in appearance, level of education, work, health, etc. When it comes to children, you might think that they are judged by their functions, not by seeing people alive.

You can often hear the phrases: "What is your child doing?", "What's good for him?", Etc. Children are evaluated as if they were buying a mobile phone or a car.

Parents are used to doing it, and comparisons are part of human nature. However, such comparisons are useless and should not have any influence on the child.

But adults are used to comparing their children not only to strangers, but also to close relatives: cousins, sisters, etc. Parents can often hear about what child is taller, who has what hair color.

What happens when you compare a child with classmates?

The comparisons have a negative effect on the child's growth and development. At the same time, parents also experience the negative effect of comparisons. They begin to think: "We are bad parents", "We are not doing enough for our son", etc.

• Mistrust in such situations leads to the fact that parents begin to raise their children with the help of persuasion;
• The doubt that parents experience in such situations reduces their self-esteem. This is subsequently passed on to the children;
• Due to comparisons, the relationship between parents and children deteriorates;
• The child grows in a negative environment that can hinder their growth and development.

How to avoid comparisons?

• Always remember that comparisons are inevitable. By communicating with other parents, you will unconsciously compare your child with others. But it is in their power to keep the child away from that environment and try to use - comparisons less frequently.

• Comparisons and competition are a certain way of life. Do not let comparisons change your habits and ways of dealing with your child.
• Focus on what you have already achieved and what you are already doing. Think about how lucky you are to have such a child.
• Each person has certain weaknesses. Do not worry about this. Instead of focusing on deficiencies, think about your child's strengths.
• Feel proud of your son. Enjoy every moment you spend with him.

We know perfectly well that nobody is perfect. But sometimes we feel sad for the feeling of our own imperfections. All parents want their child to be the best in everything. But, if you or your child does not receive something, there is nothing to worry about. Learn to stay happy under any circumstance and teach this child.

Each parent has their own parenting style. Therefore, it makes no sense to compare yourself with other parents. Learning to raise a child can only be experienced. Therefore, we must take this process as a journey, and not as a competition. You will not always have enough of what you have, and you will always fight for something more.

Comparisons are an endless process, so stay positive. Enjoy your child, and sooner or later you will learn to live without comparisons.

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2019/02/10/school-for-parents-dad-do-not-compare-me-to-other-children/

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