SCHOOL FOR PARENTS: Tips to help your child overcome fears

A safe life without such emotion as fear is impossible, because it is what prevents us from imprudent and dangerous acts. When we see that the cars pass by our side, it becomes terrifying, and this feeling prevents us from going to the road.

SourceBut fear also has a disadvantage that destroys us: it does not allow us to carry out important actions and makes us feel uncomfortable. It happens that we can not express ourselves at work, because we are afraid of the boss. Or we can not drive, because we are afraid of accidents on the roads.

It is with this negative side of fear that one must fight. But first, let's find out what can cause fear to children.

The child sleeps badly, wakes up in the middle of the night with screams, is afraid of the dark. How to help him cope with fear?

SourceThe fears themselves are natural for a small child. And it's not always worth so much to protect him from them.

There are inherent fears only at a certain age: the child overcomes them and stops being afraid. For example, children fear harsh and unexpected sounds, are left alone without a mother, etc.

School-age children often fear poor grades or ridicule from their peers (due to their appearance, for example). Such fears of children are even useful: to overcome them, the child grows. But everything is good in moderation.

If the child himself can not cope, then we must help him overcome anxiety. Otherwise, the fears will turn into neurosis, insomnia and, later, into more serious illnesses; even in that case it will be difficult to discover where the health problem comes from.

1.Fears provoked or instilled by parents.

For example, when a mother does not go to a baby that screams for a long time. Or take care of the baby constantly: "Do not go there, you can fall", "Do not take the knife, you will cut yourself", etc.

SourceMany mothers and grandmothers like a stubborn child to scare stories of a wolf, who will take him and drag him if he does not obey. In this situation, you should not be surprised that the child wakes up and screams at night.

Observe for yourself if you often use the phrase "I'm afraid that ..." in conversations with other people.

Children are very sensitive to their parents' state, their insecurity, anxiety and feelings because of something and start to fear themselves.

2."I'm afraid of the monster under the bed!"

Fear of something concrete: darkness, loneliness, death, dogs, bad grades in school, monsters of a caricature.

SourceThe easiest way to deal with them. The child must explain with calm and patience the infundación of such fears. Show how this or that "terrible" mechanism works, how it works (for example, if a child fears a vacuum cleaner or a noisy elevator).

3."I'm scared, but I do not know what"

Unconscious anxiety, which seems not to be connected to anything.

SourceTalk to the child, remember together when you began to fear what events preceded the fears. Maybe it was a scary caricature or a movie for "adults", their dispute with their husband (the more scandal of mom and dad with the children, the more afraid they are), the incident on the street (for example, the dog of another person attacked him) or someone else offended him at school....

4.¡I'm afraid!.., manipulate the parents.

For example, because he wants to get attention, be with his mother more often. Or sleep in the parents' bed, although it is already big. If this is so, then it is necessary to let him understand that he has been seen and explain that there is time for him and for other things.

SourceIf you are used to falling asleep with your mother, try to change this ritual. Replace bedtime with the child, until you fall asleep, to read a book before bedtime, for example.

Then, you can sit with the child for another 5-10 minutes, discuss the day before with him, plan for the future, talk and then let him go to sleep alone.

Explain that now is the time for parents to communicate with each other, and their time is over. And it shows firmness in response to its manipulations.

It is impossible to always meet all the needs of the child, sooner or later he needs to learn to be self-sufficient.

How to help a child overcome fear?

Source

• Pay more attention to your child.
• Often get on your knees, hug, take your hand, look at your eyes when you speak.
• Talk about how you love him and you will always be ready to protect yourself.
• Let the child explain in detail how the monsters that frighten him look, the horrors of his head, arms and legs, and then draw him. Something abstract is always worse than something more concrete. When the enemy is known in detail, it is no longer so scary, it is easier to fight against him. After this drawn monster can burn or tear it.
• Explain Many terrible things (for example, the frightful shadows on the wall during the night, the sounds of the street, the noise of thunderstorms, etc.) can be found with a quite logical explanation.
• Do not punish the manifested "cowardice". It will be even worse if the baby, to not lose your love, begins to hide that he is very afraid of something. Fears will enter and become a neurosis. It will be very difficult to get rid of them later.
• Do not force the child to overcome fear at any cost. For example, if he fears dogs, force him to pet the animal.
• Do not allow to watch "scary" movies before going to bed. It is better to read a book or look at some kind of caricature.
• Never be ashamed and make fun of a child.
• Do not call coward, do not say "you are different and act like a girl", "children should not be afraid", etc.

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2019/01/14/school-for-parents-to-help-your-child-overcome-fears/

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