Mizu No Oto - Every Image Has Its Haiku - Edition #27 (English)
A new challenge presents Mizu No Oto - Every Image Has Its Haiku - Edition #27 (English) with the placid photography of @marcoriccardi. Here is my attempt to approach haiku.
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Open sky,
clear day, still waters.
The abandoned boat.
With your permission, a version with a small modification:
in my humble opinion, the two versions are different. The first highlights the fact that someone has left the boat, there is an unnamed character.
The second focuses on the boat itself. I can't say which one I prefer between the two. Perhaps the second is closer to haiku sensitivity because it is impersonal, but there are many cases in which poets could have expressed theirselves even in the first way
Thank you for your interpretation and assessment, @marcoriccardi. It is difficult to achieve in English the semantic richness that a word in Spanish can have (it is not arrogance). "Abandonment" here more than action wants to allude to helplessness, to oblivion, and also to loneliness, to isolation. Greetings.
Apart: The continuous and long interruptions of the electric service (in Venezuela), and, consequently, of the Internet, has made it difficult for me to participate. I would have liked to vote and make my comment.