Avast me Hearties!

Ol’ Silverbeard is back with tales of plunder and mysterious phenomena from the briny deep.

It all started last Sunday as i pulled the Ingot into my secret lair: an underground, ocean-bound cave! In former times, of legend and phantasmagoria, it is said that this cave was once the home of the Monkey God, and an underwater spa for his harem of sea-nymphs. You may have noticed one of ‘em on the way in. They often perch on the rocks outside of the cave and lure randy sailors to come ever closer with their sweet songs of plenty, and indeed their bare breasts!

But be warned sailors! Most of these nymphs of the deep care not for your whiskers nor your stinking hides. All they are interested in is your shiny treasure and indeed, your very sanity! They looks gorgeous until you see beneath their surface...

So be warned! Your lootsacks will be emptied and your skeletons picked clean long before you will receive any gratuity from these horrors of the aquatic! You would be well advised to remain earthbound and just cope with the dreaded stackitus, rather than drift out to sea in search of a pirate’s wife.

At least with the stackitus you stand some chance of making it out alive — and with more treasure to boot! Me own stackitus has been pretty fierce lately, and in the last week i have added many an ounce and a few coins to my teetering stacks. Cast a forlorn eye on the Captain’s new shiny, but keep yer grimy paws off me loot or i will be feeding the sharks “chicken” fingers post haste — Y’Arrrr!!!

13 ounces of the shiny (one from each nymph) and a few valuable coins of the Realm! These shiny bits of element 47 make for a good week of plunder to throw on the ol’ loot pile!

After casting my new fortunes on me shimmering piles of treasure, i hiked on up the path to the secret meadow... and here i found a descendant of the original Monkey God! Much like many of the new generation of kids out there, lol, this heir to a rich mythology (and indeed some real estate proceeds) has grown up and into a lazy, petulent and self-entitled lout!

I tell ya friends, if ol’ Canon-eye still walked the decks there would be a smorgasbourd of Monkey meat for tonight’s supper! My ol’ Pa knew a thing or two about proactivity and in his day needled many a layabout sailor off the plank if they weren’t pulling their own weight!

And down they would go! Suspended animation as they passed to the netherworld...

Thankfully i was a quick and able study, so there were many a glorious plundering while i served on my father’s ship — the Good Delivery

And indeed, now that i have a rapscallion (or two) of my own, i will be passing down the lore and the gore to my own lil’ pirate!

Also, however, i will be putting some dubloons aside in order to gamble on the hottest ticket in town. I speak, of course, of the SSG MONSTER RAFFLE! It appears that the pirate’s syndicate that i am involved with has made available the Community Chest for a massive plundering. With nary a blade nor musket, any, and all scallywags are invited to participate. Just have some SBDs ready for your wager and send them in to @ssg-community... then all ye have to do is sit back with yer grog and make a Toast to ol’ Canon-eye and call for the luck o’ the Irish to bless your bets.

If successful, thar be many fine prizes for many fine wags-of-the-scally to be won next Saturday night.

Unwind your purse-strings, open up yer treasure chests and empty your accounts of institutional paper — this is the real deal and a real meal!

I put me magic glass to mine one good eye to see what my other rapscallion was up to, but it appears he is playing at a different game... i try to tell Carlito that being a pirate is fun, but he just glowers at me with reptillian eye and screeches with dragon’s roar and says: Dad, being Godzilla is waaay more badass! I’ll let the readers decide...

And now i must weigh anchor and return to the sea. I’d best take on some extra hands this week as it’s gonna’ be a busy one, and who better than a couple of notorious biggies? GA and P-B in the (wheel) house!!!

I also called on me ol’ pal Captain StingRay to come aboard as a distinguished guest and man the harpoon!!! Just in case we find a dele-Whale!

With this kind of fire-power onboard, the Ingot and it’s leathery crew are sure to find some worthwhile merchant vessels, or online brokerages, to plunder and send them down to D. Jones’ locker!

Y’Arrrr Maties!!! It be #piratesunday: Show us the measure of your newest treasure!

Ahoy! from @thedamus
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