Comedy Open Mic Round #22 (A Cry For Help)
"My name is @themanwithnoname and I am a Stakaholic."
They are difficult words to say because it's a difficult thing to admit. Not that I have a problem recognizing it or even admitting it to myself, but because most people don't understand when you tell them about your addiction.
Since I started stacking I've been on a mission to rescue as much of the shiny as I can from those dark, forsaken corners of the world where it might be mistreated, neglected, or unappreciated. I have worked to inform others of this great cause of finding stranded silver and giving it a good home. Most of the time, my entreaties fall on deaf ears... or even mocking ears.
Silver isn't valuable
Why would you spend your money on that?
You're just being weird
Is this another one of your schemes?
Did you join a cult?
Ok, so the last one didn't actually happen, but I have heard people express plenty of opinions on buying silver. Most of them aren't positive. So it's difficult to admit that I have a strong desire for more. I get tired of explaining my condition to them. They can't see the symptoms, so they don't believe that Stakitus is real.
- They don't see me shaking when I'm separated from my shiny for too long
- They can't feel the stress when I know there are great pieces at the LCS that aren't in a good home... or might go to a bad home
- They don't understand how my dreams are consumed with nothing but the glitter of my coins, bars, and rounds... and thoughts of ones to come
- They've never found their heart racing as they drove to the local coin store on a rescue mission
- They've never felt the bitter disappointment when you went planning to save so many and realized you didn't have the resources to help them all.
- They don't carry these unseen burdens and hidden scars.
- They don't know
- They can't understand
I had been getting the shakes fairly badly as it had been a while since I visited the silver doctor and got an infusion. My plan was to go today. I had it all mapped out. I had to run a few errands, but the trip was going to end at the coin store. All the money for other things would have been spent, so anything left was mine.
The first errand took longer than expected. The second errand didn't work out. The third errand was a minor success, but again, took longer than expected. Things were looking good on the money front. I was still loaded with enough ammunition to help some silver escape. However, what I hadn't counted on running out of... was time.
I was just about to point the car in the direction of the coin store, when I got the dreaded call.
"We're coming over. We'll be there shortly."
NOOOO!!!!!
My family was coming to visit. They weren't supposed to come until later! They moved up the time on me. I started getting feverish. The world started spinning a bit. I began to quickly do the math in my head.
"It will take only 12 minutes to get to the coin store"
"They can wait outside"
"Their ice cream won't melt in 85 degrees. It has preservatives!"
Fortunately for my family, but unfortunately for me and my would-be new friends, my wife was with me and cooler heads prevailed. She understands my Stakitus, but she also didn't want to upset my family. After calming me down, she convinced me that we should get home before my family arrived.
After the long, tortuous drive, we arrived home. I was still debating in my mind if I could leave on my own and make it back before our visitors. Or I could leave my wife alone with them.... No. That thought sobered me up. I knew there was no way I could leave her along with them. If she drove them off, that's fine. But they might devour her and that was a risk I wasn't prepared to take.
I sadly resigned myself to the fact that no rescue mission would take place and I set about tidying the house a bit more.
After chit-chatting for a while, it was time for dinner and we make some pizzas for them. I was still stinging from the lack of silver, so I drowned my symptoms in crust, fat cheese, and grease. It was delicious! I'm happy to tell you that my plan worked and strangely my symptoms subsided slightly. My appetite for silver is still there, but it has abated somewhat.
I'm not sure if anyone else has thought of this, but thus far, it's looking good that one can numb the pain through eating lots of food. I'm going to have to conduct more experiments to see what else kills the pain, even if only for a while.
I wonder if anyone has ever tried using alcohol...
I nominate @glenalbrethsen and @janton to make a post for @comedyopenmic.
If you like silver, Enter to win FREE SILVER courtesy of @britcoin!
Good story. It is a pity that it is a true story. I know because I have the same symptoms and the same ideas to overcome it...
I'm sorry, buddy! Hang in there.
Haha, I haven't been bitten yet, but I have just ordered a couple of 2018 silver rounds, so thanks for the taste of what's to come :)
Peace.
That first order could be what gets you into fully-infected mode. Be careful. :)
What rounds did you order? Steem Silver Rounds?
Thanks for stopping by!
Yes, Steem rounds :)
Peace.
Good for you. I see that you're in Australia, so they do take some time to get there from the USA. I hope you get them soon. I got mine and they're lovely. I think you'll be very pleased.
Nicely done .... go get that silver fix ... :)
Thank you! And I'm trying... I'm trying. Unfortunately all the coin stores are closed on Sunday. I'll have to either order online and wait, or wait and order in person tomorrow. Decisions, decisions. Maybe I'll have cookies for breakfast instead! :D
Cookies for breakfast sounds like a great alternative.
Done! I appreciate your encouragement and validation that it is a good idea. ;)
Wow! sounds like you find yourself in quite the pickle.
Although I take great pity upon your obvious discomfort, I must admit to some amusement. Actually I am ashamed to admit your list of symptoms has provided full belly laughs for the whole family.
In an attempt to somewhat make up for this.
Or to just counter any bad karma that mat have arisen from finding amusement at your distress. (Rolling around the floor in fits of glee at your misery is bound to be racking them up.)
I may have accidentally stumbled upon a sure fire cure for you.
There is an amazing magical elixir called colloidal silver. Said to cure many ailments. From the common cold to more severe conditions. Across the board folks are guzzling it up to cure all ills fevers and chills. Sounds just perfect for your symptoms right?
And best of all this heavenly nectar is infused with your precious silver.
Surely a discreet sip could be had at any time. What better way to feed the need and minimize the shakes
Just be careful with that stuff. I hear too much of a bad batch will turn the skin an interesting shade of smurfy blue. No need letting your med turn you into a smurf.
Also naps are required lots and lots of naps.
Well, I think this is probably one of the best comments ever! I'm glad that it had you "rolling around the floor in fits of glee." Ha ha.
Don't worry about negative karma for laughing. It's supposed to elicit that response. And although painful at the time, it is humorous now. Funny how time works like that.
Thanks for the tip on colloidal silver. It's one of the remedies that I like. I try to get one with as small of particles as possible so that it gets in and out easier. It's supposed to help when it gets in, but then it needs to pass out as the body isn't supposed to have buildups of heavy metals in it.
And I definitely don't want to turn smurf blue. Although I wouldn't blame you for laughing at my picture if I did. :P
Well thank you very much. That is a pretty great complement coming from some one like you. Believe it or not someone already told me you are a comment king. Even before we met your name proceeded you. ...Ironic since you haven't one.
Good tip about the small particles. I already told the family if I turn blue I am just going to shopping for a Smurfette dress.
Anyway don't forget the nap that part is vital.
Sleep a lot it will truly help. 😇
ha ha ha.
Wow, I didn't realize that I had been creating a name for myself. I won't quite change my name to "Comment King" just yet as Janton was once again the winner of abh12345's Engagement League this week. But I'll take it as a compliment. Thank you!
Oooh, I forgot about the nap part. Naps definitely can help. Why is it that when you don't feel well, it can be harder to nap... and you crave sugar. You need the naps and don't need the sugar, but your body seems to want what's bad. At least mine does sometimes. :P
Thaz some funny shit bro! ...but alcohol combined with the stackitus can cause wild binges of on-line looting!
— Goodtimes!!! ⚡️🤪🤪🤪⚡️
Ha ha, see you just saved me from maxing out my credit card on a load of cheap generics. I was thinking of getting a meeelion dollars worth of rounds and then making a castle out of them. Thanks for looking out. My wife would have killed me. Or left me and taken the silver with! Ha ha, just kidding. She wouldn't leave me. I'm too good looking. ;)
😎👍👍 yeah you are!
😂😂😂
If this actually happened then you should have asked a friend or something to go to the store and buy it for you... and well, if the family doesn't understand your "serious" condition they deserve to be left outside in the hot blazing sun xD
My family doesn't understand me buying cryptos... They consider this gambling and are starting to be worried if i have a serious condition... I would totally leave them outside on the hot sun :P
That would be nice if I had someone I could call who knew my collection and collecting habits enough that they could spot bar and coins that I would like. Then it would be like I had an extension of myself out there getting silver.
I also have crypto and my family doesn't understand that. They don't think it's gambling like your family does. That would be an upgrade. My family considers it to be a scam.
Ha ha, that's funny. An alternative to that would be bringing them inside and allowing them to enjoy the sweetness of the lifestyle that your crypto gains bring you. Then you'll be able to rub it in their faces that when you were giving them good advice, they threw it back in your face. They'll get the crypto bug and the desire to make it big, but the large gains will have already taken place.
Sometime in the future I'll do this, when i do i'll post pics online XD
I look forward to the pictures. Maybe you can have me over too! ;)
This really got me. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. Stakitus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad you liked it! It's tough to know if the audience is goig to connect with it, so I'm glad you picked up on it. :)
lol! oh man @themanwithnoname! brilliant and hilarious, I love this post, I laughed all the way through! great job, I'm surprised that you could concentrate long enough to do it while battling those addiction symptoms!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was difficult to do, but the overload of pizza helped lessen the symptoms and I was able to push though. I will need at least eight hours of deep meditation to be able to start my day tomorrow, but I have some time scheduled tonight for just that purpose.
Thanks for caring. It's people like you who really help me through this. ;)
hahaha! well that's what friends are for!
hahaha Stakitus! Now I understand!! :) You're lucky to have such an understanding wife so you don't have to resort to sneaking around, hiding silver in basement cupboards and garage drawers to tip toe off to when she least expects it!
Nice job @themanwithnoname! These comedyopenmic bits are hard, but you successfully did it :)
It explains a lot, doesn't it? It's a bit embarrassing to talk about, but I feel comfortable talking about it here on my blog.
My wife is amazing! I wouldn't be the same without her. She makes me such a better person. I'm very thankful to have her around. And she supports my stacking. She doesn't fully understand and embrace it, but she isn't upset that I do it.
I hadn't done the comedyopenmic, but someone tagged me to do one and I had been thinking about writing about this, so I did. I don't know if I'll win anything, but I gave it a shot. If they didn't make you resteem the post rules every week, I might do it more, but I don't like doing that many resteems. Just my preference.
You're a lucky man!
I think I tagged you lol but I didn't know you had to resteem their rules every week. I never did it once :) I'm not a fan of resteeming either.
If you don't actually have to resteem the rules every week, I might try to keep coming up with stuff. If nothing else, it gets me writing about something other than shiny. ;)
There's another contest I'm in that gives extra points for resteems, but I don't want to do too many as I know some people who do lots and it can quickly clog a feed. I'm trying to be clever with my approach though, so we'll see if I can pick up some other points. I wouldn't mind winning more free silver. ;)
I could have misread it, but I don't believe resteeming is a part of it.
I'd love for you to win more silver. Feed the addiction buddy 😎
Let's hope you're right. So far it has been a fairly successful post for me. I wouldn't mind doing it again.
I intend to! Thanks for the support!
Always there to support you @themanwithnoname 😅
Once again, you've got it bad, and you've got it good.
I suppose wives do help us keep our friends and family relationships more or less intact, but gol dangit—don't they know there's some silver out there that needs a rescuin'?! Sigh. I'm feeling your pain, man. And I don't even stack. Yet.
Okay, so what am I in for now with this particular challenge? Any theme? Any deadline? Is it mandatory that I nominate? I get I should try to be funny and that I should use the comedyopenmic tag. Anything else I should know about this?
Oh and, have you seen this? I know it doesn't exactly describe your situation, but it is what comes to mind when I read this. :)
You're right, I've got it bad, I've got it good. Well put.
Right?! It's an obligation to everything that is good and decent that we should help rescue those silver bars, coins, and rounds that are without a home and someone to care for them. I guess we should spend time with our kin though.
The challenge is something I first heard about from tcpolymath, I think. I don't believe there's a theme, it's just some form of comedy. I don't believe there's a deadline either. Yes, you have to nominate two people at the end of your post. You also have to resteem comedyopenmic's post for the week. That has the rules in it. Or a link to the rules. They also ask that you use the tag and upvote a few people's posts at least a few percent. Kinda to help share the love.
If you don't want to do it, that's totally cool. I just wanted to give you a chance if you were feeling particularly humorous.
That's it!!! Love that song. And it's close to the amount of shiny I want. Ha ha.
Okay. I think my humor comes and goes, and is definitely not everyone's cup of noodles, but I'll see what I can do. I've written some things in the past I find to be hilarious, but sometimes they're inside jokes or situational, like you have to be there to get them. Or, you have to be inside my head (which no thanks, right?) to even know where I'm trying to go with it.
So, anyway. I will be thinking on it and make sure you get mentioned when/if it indeed happens.
Is this something you have to be invited to do, or can you just go and throw things into the comedyopenmic tag whenever you think you have something funny? There seems to be an ongoing contest, too? Is this part of that?
Yes, there are ongoing contests. I think it goes for like 24 rounds and this is round 22. I don't know what happens after that. This was my first time. I don't think you have to be nominated. I think you can just post away.
If you want to give it a shot, I support that. I won't be climbing in your head, but hopefully I'll still get the gist of things. :)
Thankfully, your humor and mine are within the ballpark, at least. I might get some show references because I just didn't watch The Office, or some other shows, but other than that, I think we're regularly finding something humorous.
Okay, so no nomination needed. That's nice to know. Not that I've had a whole lot of funny posts, but you know, just in case I get a wild rash of hilarity or something. Start hearing the thoughts of famous comedians. Download the entire 'Yucks Library" from Comedy Hall of Fame. (Is that a thing?)
I'll see what I can do.
I think you tend to have a drier sense of humor. That's how most of mine comes off too. Rather dry and sort of morbid. Ha ha. Self-deprecation is also in my wheelhouse. Thanks for getting most of my jokes. If you don't get it, it's probably because it's from some stupid tv show. In which case, Lynn gets it. :D
I get it from my Dad, and probably his father, too, come to think of it. With my dad, you have to be listening to him, and know what he's like, otherwise it might sale right over your head. Although it is fun to watch people thinking about what he said and then laugh a few minutes later. :)
I think it comes from a bygone era, really. Now, we don't have a lot of subtleties in our humor. It's becoming a lost art. It's like slapstick took over, only with words. You always have to beat the audience members over the head with every over the top topic, words, visuals or sounds that you can come up with.
I didn't feel inspired today, post -wise, and now the day is basically over. I did manage to get a post out, though, a little late, though. We'll see what the morrow brings.
There really isn't much subtlety in our humor. It's all fart jokes and such.
I hope you're able to feel more inspired tomorrow. But if you're not, that's ok too. Enjoy yourself here. That's one of the best ways to long-term success. Otherwise, you'll just burn out.