Happy Glasses by @simgirl An infomercial written for Steem Star After Dark

simgirl (61)in #steemstarnetwork • 6 years ago

Happy Glasses by @simgirl An infomercial written for Steem Star After Dark

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This is an infomercial written for Steem Star After Dark. This show is hosted by @carrieallen on the Steemstar Network and will broadcast Tonight at 8pm EST.

If you have not heard of this show you should know that this is so funny, and lots of fun. @carrieallen gathers scripts and voice actors from other Steemians and brings them together in the Steemstar Network Discord each Friday night to read the skits live.

Each week @carrieallen, and her husband @chrisroberts work hard to write new skits to be read aloud by the audience members. Skits are read cold and anyone attending the discord can participate in any skit. The skits are created to be funny and the entire show is upbeat and filled with humor.

If you would like to write a funny script for the Steemstar After Dark to be read on Friday nights, write a skit and then send it to @carrieallen as a google doc.

@carrieallen also streams this show and records them. This link will allow you to hear last week's Steemstar After Dark Episode.

Happy Glasses by @simgirl

An infomercial written for Steem Star After Dark

Cast:
Announcer
Man
Woman
Teenager

(Intro Song)
Happy Glasses! Happy Glasses. I don’t see no grumpy asses when I wear my Happy Glasses!

Announcer
Are you surrounded by assholes? Do the people in your life walk around all day complaining and bringing up negative subjects? Does their frown bring you down? Happy Glasses could change your life!

Man
Ever since I started wearing my Happy Glasses I can breathe easier. The stress of seeing unhappy people’s faces all day was really getting me depressed. Now everyone has a happy smile on their face. I feel like they are happy to see me.

Woman
I love my Happy Glasses. When I go to the local grocery store instead of seeing vague looks and unfriendly stares, I see happy faces. It makes my shopping much more enjoyable. I feel happy when I leave, and it gives the impression that I live in a happy little town.

Announcer
Happy Glasses were designed by very important high-tech geeky people to help the everyday person. It can be useful for those who don’t receive many smiles or are surrounded by downright grumpy people. How is this possible you ask?

Happy glasses will take the image of the person you are looking at and digitally enhance their face, so it appears they are smiling and happy; transforming your negative world into a more positive and happy place.

Man
I take my Happy Glasses everywhere. At first, I was surprised how much different my life was when I was surrounded by positive happy people. But now I can’t imagine walking around without them. My family, friends and children give me pleasant smiles, and in return they get a happier me. I ordered a pair for everyone on my Christmas list. I mean at this low price how could I not!

Announcer
Happy Glasses are regularly $1,999, but if you order today you will get each pair for only $1,998... that’s a savings of one dollar. Act now and you can get a free charger for your Happy Glasses.

(Quickly)
Delivery may take up to a year, price does not include shipping and handling charges. Taxes applicable in most countries.

(Normal)
Don’t let happy smiles be the only thing you enjoy. If you order a pair of Happy Glasses, you can also order a pair of the Happy Sap Ear Caps. These tiny speakers fit easily into your ears and will translate the sentences of the people you speak with every day.

For example, if your spouse answers your question with a short “Whatever” remark, the Happy Sap Ear Cap will translate the message to a positive phrase like. “Whatever you think is best. I trust your judgement.”

Teenager
Ever since I ordered the Happy Glasses and the Happy Sap Ear Caps my life has been fantastic! Now my mom encourages me to be a better person. If I forget to clean my room it translates her remarks to positive phrases that inspire me to clean instead of the negative remarks of the past like, “You’re a Slob,” or “Your room looks like a pig sty.”

Woman
My husband has never been nicer. And my relationship with my mother in-law… Perfect! Happy Sap Ear Caps only allow me to hear positive comments. The Happy Sap takes the negative criticism and then turns it into a positive message that makes me smile. She looks at me like I might be crazy, but I know that if I wear my Happy Glasses and My Happy Sap Ear Caps I won’t be stressed out. My life is much more pleasant and best of all I’m happy! That’s really all that matters.

Announcer
Happy Glasses and the Happy Sap Ear Caps will take your miserable world and turn it upside down. We can’t tell you the price of the Happy Sap Ear Caps because it is just ridiculously high, and you wouldn’t even consider buying them at the price we are asking.

Some side effects of the Happy Glasses and the Happy Sap Ear Caps are faded memories of your former negative life. Ill misperceptions of those around you who are still assholes. Being nice to people you would normally want to punch in the face, and desires to write more music or romantic poetry.

Those in combat or any other law enforcement profession should not use these products while on the job. Happy Glasses Inc. and their endorsers are not responsible for injury resulting in being nice to violent criminals or over aggressive attackers. Use with caution.

(Quietly, and quickly)
Has caused brain tumors and brain damage in some studies.

Get your Happy Glasses and Happy Sap Ear Caps now!!!

(Exit song)
Happy Glasses! Happy Glasses. I don’t see no grumpy asses when I wear my Happy Glasses!

The End