[LIFE VIEW] Worrying what others think of you.
Care about people’s approval, and you will always be their prisoner.
Lao Tzu
Today I want to talk about worrying what others think about you, or wanting to please everyone or wanting everyone's approval. It's a very dangerous way of thinking I would say. I used to be like this, and quite frankly, I am still like this at times. However I've changed a lot since back in the day and I'm much more carefree now if I can use that term. Basically I don't worry as much as I used to in the past about what people think of me. It's freedom in a sense thinking and feeling that way.
When I was younger I used to be so worried about what others thought about me. I used to dress thinking, "Will people like it if I wear this pants?" or "Will they think I look cool in these sunglasses?". It was horrible to live like that. You're basically a prisnoer in your own world if you come to think about it. It's like the above quote, you live your life based on what others think about you or what they say about you. Who wants to live a life like that? Honestly, who would want that?
Everyday of your life will be a nightmare, wondering what to wear, what not to wear, who thinks this new shirt is awesome or not etc. I'm drained just thinking that! Imagine living it. Let me hit you with some knowledge. People will think of you what they will regardless. That's the truth. if you wear a blue shirt or a red shirt, and 10 people like it, there will definitely be others that do not like it. What are you going to do then? Wear both shirts at the same time?
You cannot base your everyday life around what others will think about you! It'll drive you crazy. For me, it came from a sense of insecurity. I wanted people to like me, I wanted them to be "wow'ed" by what I did and what I wore and how I spoke etc. It doesn't work, trust me on this. It will never work. You have to live your life the way you want to. People are going to say things about you no matter what you do. Some will be good, some will be bad, but they will talk about you. That's just life and that's just how people are. There's nothing you can do about that.
Yes to this day I am still afraid of wearing short pants. ( I hate my legs ). That stems straight from a place of insecurity. I'm working on that and it isn't easy, so I know how it feels like to worry about other people's opinions or views on you. This is going to sound harsh, but stuff that! Stuff what they think about you. Don't let what they say about you get you down or get to you. Wear what you want, do what you want, it's your life. Those people, that talk about you, they themselves are most probably just as insecure as you.
They most probably have more issues than you that's why they talk about you, to make themselves feel better. Stuff it! You will always annoy someone in your life, you will always make someone happy, or bring a smile to their face. You cannot please everyone. Oh my gosh, how draining it is trying to please everyone and making everyone like you. Another thing, by thinking like that did you know that it can land you in a world of hurt? Think about it. Someone asks you to do something that you wouldn't normally do. Steal something for instance.
Now obviously you agree because you don't want to say NO to anyone for fear of receiving their disapproval. So you say yes, and do the deed. You get caught and thrown into prison. Nice, you just ruined your life because you were too worried about what other people would think about you. Where the right thing to do was just to say NO and not care what they thought afterwards. You see how damaging worrying about others' opinions can be? It's a dangerous path to head down.
For me to overcome this I had to decide and accept that people will talk about me anyway, no matter what I do. So why try and please them? For what? There will always be someone who isn't pleased with me, and you know what, that's their problem. if they don't like what I wear, that's their problem. I'm not going to alter my life just to suit the lives of others. Now obviously I'm not saying be a jerk and be arrogant, but live your life like you want to, and don't be concerned about what others think.
There is freedom in being secure, there is freedom in being bold enough to wear those short pants or to wear that color lipstick. No matter what anyone says, friggen wear it! if it makes you feel comfortable or it makes you feel good, then do it! Ok, just to be clear, you must obviously exercise discretion. If drugs make you feel good don't be a fool and do drugs. Think for yourself, that's what I'm saying. So go ahead, try, just try not to worry what others think about you, and see how liberating it is. Just try it, and see how it feels.
