[Non Fiction] Personality Trait Change

in #steemtrail6 years ago


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This will be a short non fiction story regarding me, and how a personality trait I had when I was young has changed, for the better.

Ever since I can remember, when I was young, I was very withdrawn. I didn't mingle much with people in real life and always pretty much kept to myself. Granted, we're talking about the 80's and 90's here, so back then we didn't really have social media or technology to help us interact like we do today.

In school I was a geek. I was part of the chess club which I enjoyed actually. I didn't play any contact sport like rugby. I'm not really sure why, but I think it's because back in the school I was very tiny for a lack of a better word. So to be honest I knew if I did join I'd most probably be crushed to pieces amongst all those jocks and slabs of beef. LOL

I spend the majority of my free time in front of my computer. Playing games like Police Quest, Space Quest, Heroes Quest etc. Those were indeed good times. I didn't have any urge or desire to hang out with real life friends. For me my computer was enough. During school hours I kept to myself. Ok that's a lie, I had two friends. Luke and Brett. Nice guys, not really geeks. They were heavy into the shooting range stuff at school.


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They weren't into computers if I can recall, but I hung out with them. Luke & Brett were closer as friends to be honest. They weren't rude to me at all, and basically accepted me into "the group". I remember during lunch breaks I used to hang around them, eating my sandwiches and just watching them working on the rifles etc. I would sometimes just sit by myself even, but that was ok for me.

So I then graduated and moved to another city. There I worked in some butchery while I was deciding what to do with my life. Still 100% into computers, more actually. It was all I did. I had about four friends then but to be honest they only came to visit me because they could smoke cigarettes by my parents house in my bedroom. LOL. They were good guys though. I would even call them loyal. However I never really confided in them. Never really opened up so to speak.

I did take a liking to the one guy as a friend, and visited him more often than the others, by his house. He just stayed up the road actually. I was always quiet, way too scared to speak to girls, or even look at them. I was a full on geek. I didn't have any confidence to speak in large crowds or even attempt a public speaking seminar. At that time, it wasn't even an issue for me why I was such an introvert. So it didn't really bother me much.


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Fast forward a few years and I'm in another city. Much older, slightly wiser, yet still shy or withdrawn. I then started to work for a company where I had to do Microsoft presentations for public schools, in front of the entire faculty. I think this is where something clicked, or snapped, or whatever. I had to do these presentations. Verbal presentations of like 30 minutes each and do about 4 a day.

I had no choice but to sink or swim. That's when it hit me. These people, the one's I'm talking to, are going to think of me what they want regardless of what I do. I can't really change that. So I thought screw it, and that's where I changed. I went from a shy quiet geek to a confident, bold individual. I think it was because I knew what I was talking about when I gave the presentations, and I think that gave me the confidence to just speak out and not care.

In a weird way I saw it as THEM needing MY help, and that gave me the confidence to speak out loudly and boldly. The more I did it, the more fun it became, but more importantly, it became easier. Each presentation was like a quest I had to do, like the quests I would play in my computer games. If I completed the presentation without freezing or stuttering, then I completed the quest. I had a lot of fun actually.

The more bold I became ( not arrogant but bold ), the more the people noticed me and took me seriously. I didn't feel less worthy like I used to feel back in the day. Fast forward another few years and I'm in my forties. I have absolutely no problem talking or speaking to anyone. Be it a beautiful woman or a big time businessman. I've learned to be confident, shake hands with a firm grip making your presence known.

To be honest, it wasn't that hard actually going from how I was to how I am. I think when I made that decision to speak out, to stand up and be noticed, that's when something clicked inside of me. I love talking to people now, no fear whatsoever. It's freedom, and it feels great! Iwent from a shy withdrawn boy to someone who isn't afraid to stand up in a crowd and speak up.

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