Steemwars The not so revealing beginning of the Darth

“So many faces. So many people. So many worlds. Yet we have no face, no people, no world. We see the world in truth.” His voice was Dusky, deep and dark throughout, until the last word where his modulator gave in and a sudden squeaky word made all the Warm Poopers laugh. They did so together, they were clones after all.

The emperor adjusted his modulator, looking around at us all. We could not know if he was glaring at us, angry or embarrassed, his mask was always smiling. A very confusing time in our lives, until one of the Warm Poopers fell down holding his neck.

“The galaxy was in turmoil. As galaxies are. Stars collapsing, planets forming. Dinosaurs roaming free. We took care of the dinosaurs. You are welcome.” He paused, moving his head from side to side. “For a millennium (a thousand years to all you lower life forms) we watched YOU destroy planets.”

The Warm Poopers and I looked up, then at each other. We?

“Not you, you idiots, I mean them, the galaxy in general. Stop looking around and listen to me now” he straightened his cape, I don’t know why he wore one. Embarrassing I tell you. “Ravage the resources. Revel in your..Their. Their fake republics. We finally have risen, to cleanse this galaxy. In a way we are environMENTALISTS. You are welcome once again.”

The stress on that word was put there by me. You can’t live life without a little fun everyone now and then. I felt my throat constricting for a while. Then the emperor continued, leaving me be.

“We are not the first, nor the last. We shall be only The Order. The constants in an ever changing universe.” The warm Poopers erupted in shouts of victory and strength. All hail the emperor and all that. I wondered why they were so happy. Aren’t they the ones who will be the first to be mowed down by the jedi? Idiots.

My master Darth Fart’er laughed in his robotic laugh. Embarrassing I tell you, so much power and that was the name he chose. Now we know what a personality is for. You cannot just be some devilish looking hunk with power, you need the smarts, the wits and the confidence as well.

This was now, when we were ready to invade. The evil , I mean the good Dr. Muxx (@gmuxx) had given the edict. I wonder why I have an emperor in this monologue. Confusing I tell you. Maybe the doctor is Laynos with the gems from that other universe. We may never know.

For a moment parts of my hard training flashed before my eyes. All the things I had given up. Lifting Five pound weights. Everyday. No matter how Excruciating. Running right after that, till the Mess everyday. Cruel I tell you. The others flew in their scooters. I ran. Sometimes I have nightmares about no cupcakes left in the cafeteria. And every night made to sleep on time while the others watched movies and had a good time. I have persevered through it all. I have made it.

The battle sound was rung. The Warm Poopers running around to their stations. My master called for me.

Standing in his presence illuminated my soul. That and we were dangerously close to the sun. They should really *cking teach them how to fly better in Pooper school.
“Darth Speed finish this battle quickly. Crush their will with your FORCE. I want them kneeling before me. I feel a great steem coming meet the Eon Hawk at the hatch. The tide has turned.”

All I could do was imagine him saying all of this in the emperors squeaky voice. I had to laugh but not show it in my feelings. Needless to say I kill it at poker tournaments every sunday. Sometimes literally.

So it begins. My companions Ani-won Kirsten (@anikekirsten), Jaynathehutt (@jayna),Darth Fox (@foxfiction) will meet on the Eon Hawk