Carnif Geb - I Am Petunias - a steemwars parody

in #steemwars6 years ago (edited)

petunias geb.png

In the bleakness of space, all I could think about was ice cream. Nothing fancy, mind you. A simple Vanietta cone would have been nice. Or even a plain old Strawberry Stick.

The rations onboard were the standard emergency fare. Two packs of ZipEats and flavored Insta-water, plain, tea, or coffee. I ripped open the first ZipE and a smell erupted from it that made me quickly close the package.

How old were these things? I sent the first package into space through the dispose-all aperture and slowly unzipped the second.

No smell at all. I pulled the rest of the package apart. The stuff inside had long since ceased caring about being food. It was hard and layered like thin bricks. I tapped it against the console and dropped it into the aperture.

So. No food.

Turning to the water container, I decided ‘plain’ was the best bet. I pushed the button before I realized my mistake. With nothing attached to receive the water it spewed out into the weightless cabin of the pod.

Nothing to do but drink what I could. I unbuckled my harness and let myself float free. It wasn’t easy, but I was able to drink quite a bit as it came from the spout by just putting my face in front of it. When I could drink no more I worked my way back into my seat and buckled myself back in. After a few minutes all the water had emptied into the cabin.

It floated around like globules but when it touched anything it spread out across the surface. Seeking out every little crevice and crack. Seeping into the console. It was only a matter of minutes before the electronics shorted out and the pod went dark.

Which meant, among other things, no life support. No more air.

There was only one way I could possibly survive.

I hyperventilated as much as possible before the morph--I’d need the CO2 later and oxygen just wouldn’t matter. As I watched the levels of breathable air drop below thirty percent, I called on the ancient knowledge and transformed myself into a form that could survive even the most inhospitable of conditions. My only worry was that my rescuers wouldn’t recognize a bowl of petunias.

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Ani-won ponders on the possibility of space tree ents chancing upon domesticated petunias and wanting to free them. Perhaps not the best of outcomes to be planted on a hostile plant world by mistake...

The Steem Lite sends strange dreams to this old Git-out Knight.

Ani-won now scorns at the man claiming to be a doctor, knowing he's responsible for this inception of events of the galaxy, using the Steem. Yes, "doctor", I received your message. Let me sleep!

Of note, our ship could use one more bowl of petunias, and one less Galacdictator.

--Underlord Negavader

Hello @jonknight, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

Thank you! I am honored! I'd love to recommend you take a look at folks from @thewritersblock. Some have posted comments here and more can be found participating in the #steemwars parodies. (And if you like to create, you are always welcome to join us!)

Lol! Nice nod to Adams and the Hitchhiker's guide there. Hope someone saves the petunias. ;) And that you get some food...

Thanks! I feel like I may have written myself into a vulnerable position...

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

Spam is frowned upon, regardless of its message.

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