Into the Dreaming: Chapter One "Collin" (Fantasy Y/A Novel)

in #story5 years ago (edited)


-I wrote the following novel nearly two decades ago. In the years between then and now I've honed my craft, and my perception of this world; my thoughts and ideas; have changed dramatically. However, I still enjoy the premise and have decided to do an overhaul of revisions and rewrites, though likely not until sometime next year. (Though I'm sure I'll do a little as I post chapters)

For now I hope you will enjoy a glimpse into my book writing beginnings...



They are the closest of friends though they have never met in waking life.

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Prologue-PT1 Prologue-PT2



Chapter One



Collin woke up, yawned, stretched for a moment, then turned over to look at the alarm clock by his bed. 5am. Shit, he thought, one more hour until the damn buzzer goes off.

He’d dreamed of her last night and as always felt sad that it was over. He’d begun having these dreams about three and a half years ago, when he was eight. It had started out with just him, walking along a creek bed in the middle of the woods and he'd immediately known he was dreaming. Firstly because he had never been to a creek bed, and secondly, well in real life he had never felt that peaceful.

He lived in a crowded not so nice neighborhood on Long Island, just about an hour south of New York City. He shared a room with his two brothers in a rundown apartment, one of many they’d lived at in his twelve years. His mom, Ms. Janet Capri, did the best she could for them, working long hours at two different jobs, but with the high inflation rate and her lack of formal education, she was always on the losing side of the monetary battle. His father had taken off when his youngest brother Jack, four years his junior, was born, so he had only a vague recollection of the man. His mom had ended up in one bad relationship after another for the next three years or so until she’d finally given up on men all together. A relief for them all.

His mind went to the little girl that accompanied him on most of his night time excursions. She was no more than eight or nine, but had the mind of someone years older. On top of which he had never met anyone in his life so full of optimism and love of life. She could see beauty in the smallest things, and smiled so much it seemed her permanent expression.

The weird thing was that they talked constantly in the dream, but never once had she told him her name and vice versa. He tried before going to sleep to make himself remember to ask, but once in the dream he always forgot all about it. He was half convinced that this person existed somewhere in the world, as ridiculous as that seemed. If only he could find out her name, where she lived, he wouldn’t care what it took he would go meet her in person.

As always, when his mind took that turn he had to laugh at himself. He tried to imagine what any of his friends would think if he told them that he dreamed of an eight year old girl and desperately wanted to find her. He wrinkled his nose, knowing exactly what distasteful things they’d have to say about that. Even though they knew he could take them all down at the same time without breaking a sweat, that little story would be too much for them to resist, and the ragging would be relentless despite the beatings.

He figured he would not be going back to sleep, so he might as well get up and put on some coffee. A beverage which he had been drinking since six years of age, and the one thing to send him into a rage if not in the cabinet in the morning.

Living in the city had the inevitable effect of making him grow up a bit faster, but living with very little parental guidance enhanced that fact tenfold. He also had the advantage of being exceptionally intelligent. Book wise, world wise, street wise, he had a lot to offer. His type of person generally had only two clear paths to take, one of greatness or one of great trouble and generally it was outside forces which provided the determining factors.

Collin, however, was aware of all of these things, making him even more unusual than ever. He had an uncanny ability to really see people for who and what they were. But people, ever changing, were designed to disappoint, therefore he lacked any true faith in anyone. He trusted no one, relied on no one.

At twelve years of age he could have lived quite comfortably on his own if it weren’t for the law.


Continue on to chapter two

Enjoy my writing style?

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LoL yep can tell you were a young'un when you wrote this, I had very similar character stereotypes in my early days XD Your writing is probably a lot cleaner than mine at a similar age though, I could write the purplest of proses :D

A bit concerned about a 6yo getting addicted to coffee D: though this

A beverage which he had been drinking since six years of age, and the one thing to send him into a rage if not in the cabinet in the morning.

cracked me right up XD Personal experience? ;D

I can understand some resentment towards Mum for the string of bad relationships (because kids, even insanely smart ones) but no love for his siblings? :< Can you remember that far back? XD

Haha, the coffee thing is based on my husband- actually the character is loosely based on him other than location. No love for his siblings? I had to reread it to see what you mean lol, I know as the story progresses there is obvious love for his youngest brother jack :)

Oh yeah, no need to comment but just making sure you didn't miss the second half of the prologue- an important detail in that one :)

Answering the previous comment, I extrapolated it from Collin thinking he'd be perfectly fine and happy living on his own if not for the law, and also the reiterations of basically "trust no one" XD

And on this one, I tend to notice things no one else does and miss the things that are blatantly obvious ;D

Just thought I would let you know that I only just discovered you - and am now reading my way through the nearly forty posts. I may comment from time to time...

Aw. That's really good to know, I published the first book of my series Allies of Old this year ( put that through steemit two years ago- click this for the intro/prologue, and this for a chapter list ;)...truth is I'm really proud of how the series is shaping up, this book however haha, I cringe a bit at my use of language and dialogue. It will help me to know if anyone (besides established friends of mine) believes this has a shot at being good... with some serious revisions naturally :)

I suppose you have, by now, seen that I have read on.

As for your question...I remember I was asked by my sister (sorry, bear with me), to fly to her that same day as I had to go to school with her the next day.

One of the girls had made quite a name for herself and she would be singing.

It worked out just as my sister had hoped. I spoke to the parents and offered to help with her career. I was invited to lunch the next day and the father asked me to go outside the house and stand by the gate. The girl sang, from upstairs, with the window open and she came through loud and clear.

I left with CDs, in the hope I can make some arrangements. A few months later they came to my city and I took them to meet an amazing voice coach - I was willing to pay, since he has trained some world star quality singers. He explained to me what he liked about her singing and she blushed. She then explained she was embarrassed because she sounds so childish in her CDs.

The point is, revisions because they are needed, or because you see your writing of that time as not being as sophisticated? Are you certain your revisions would notsteal some of the charm?

If you say you want to add to the story, but the style will remain, I would agree it could do with some more depth. However, can you see them as kids, as you could, or as an adult sees kids?

What I have read up to now I like, but the stream does flow a bit too shallow. We need to become more involved with them. Maybe it happens once they are adults? I'll be reading...so I'll find out.

I know exactly what you're saying, fortunately for me I have the best memory of anyone I've ever met. I can connect with any point in my past- which is why when my 18 year old daughter does something most adults- even much younger than my 40 years consider 'foolish' I find myself chuckling instead as I clearly remember being that age, and the thought processes that go with it.

So in my case, the many years of writing experience between then and now would improve it without taking from it I believe :)

Very cool story about the young singer, you sound like a fine man Arthur, glad to 'meet' you.

The empathy you mention feeling for your daughter comes to you through having a good memory? I would say it helps, but the truth is, most people get impatient with the young despite remembering what it was like. The reason? They think they have learnt that they must be careful and avoid emotions and get angry with those they love because they are obviously making the same mistakes, refusing to avail themselves of the pool of experience they have.

The problem is, some people learn from experience, while others only become fearful of life (and love).

As a child I spent over one and a half years very sick, with 9 months of it in hospital. Being a long term patient meant I had no friends and family could only buy just that many comics for me. It meant I spent most of my time living in imaginary worlds.

It also meant I usually was the last to learn of or understand what is going on around me, so I never learnt how to acquire that patina of practicality which makes people think they know better.

After I have finished reading, I hope you let me know when you re-publish, as I'd love to see the effect on your characters - it is the reason why I find it so difficult to go back and make changes; my characters become people to me and they dictate the direction the story takes and for me to change something, it would be, to me, a way of showing disrespect and a lack of love to people I love very much. Which means, I can never become a good writer (author), just a ghost writer, writing their story as they tell it to me.

:)

First I just want to say that I really appreciate the time you're putting in, and I apologize for not responding right away, life's a wee bit hectic right now.

Okay.

It's not memory the way most people view it, it's the ability to...jump into myself at those ages, to not just recall things I did or what I may have thought, but to smell it, taste it, touch it, be it.

I didn't suffer from physical illness, so I can't say I know how that feels, but I did live in a world of serious oppression. I was brought up as an Evangelical Christian in a Statist household. My parents believed that Jesus was the only way to Heaven, all other roads led to hell- more than that, if I had a question about something in the Bible it was some kind of satanic deception working on my mind, or if I did something wrong it was satan's influence-- I can't tell you how many times my mom rebuked demons in the name of Jesus (and when you have an imagination like I do? That means I could 'see' these malevolent creatures floating around us).

And they also believed wholeheartedly in 'their' government, in the school system, in the medical field-(much of which seemed contradictory to their christian beliefs) so breaking free of these chains of religions that were shackled to me from the time I could think was a monumental task . Especially because they were my heroes, and they truly loved us. As crazy as it sounds when I describe such things, it was my normal and I was well taken care of.

Books are what changed everything. My journey out of the cave/box began with mom inadvertently putting Ayn Rand in my hands for a college scholarship. She never read, really anything except the bible, devotionals, and the occasional romance (which she hid from us like a dirty little secret). So she had no clue that The Fountainhead contained some philosophies that would flip my world on its side. Not that I subscribed to these philosophies in particular, but realizing that there were perspectives so wholly different than my own was life changing.

But not overnight. It took years for me to finally say out loud that I didn't believe in any of it, to lose the fear of the repercussion of burning eternally in hell.

I've known many people who call themselves Christian, attended church etc, but most of them came from a more traditional background where it wasn't discussed much beyond a church service- this is not the same as where I came from I assure you- I read your other comments already and feel this might address what you were asking about only examining beliefs I believe in-there are few beliefs I haven't or wouldn't examine, but this particular one was such a struggle for me it's the only point of real division between who I am and who I was...actually...if I could impose on you just a little more, there is a short story series I wrote called The Playground- it's what got me noticed by some key people when I first joined the platform and possibly my best work. It's also young adult, but it's philosophical in nature and addresses all kinds of controversial issues while having a bit of fantasy mixed in...here's a link to episode 9- the final episode of the first season- reality in fiction: swear no oaths which contains links to the other 8. It is the clearest depiction of my truth seeking journey.

Again thank you for your thoughtful responses, it's not often people put such care and time into comments.

Reading your comment, I tried to use imagination and empathy to place myself in your shoes. As my Teller family of empaths find out (I had not thought of this, they did), empathy can open us to feeling the other person, but, unless we have the experiences for empathy to draw its data from, all we can do is 'imagine' we feel the other person - of course, even that 'empathic imagining' does open us to the other person and, at times, to truths new to us.

I grew up in a family of tepid Christians. At the ages of ten to twelve, I became devout and even told my teacher, while we were in a plane going through a bumpy ride, that I hope we crash, because it means I am then guaranteed a place in Heaven, since I am still a child. The teacher was terrified and did not appreciate my comment.

My imagination tends to run away with me, so I began to question things like, how could God have always existed. If he has always existed and always will and He is omnipotent, doesn't He get bored? If He gave us, as a gift, our free will, why is it compulsory for us to take religious instrction? Why did he give us free will, but not for himself (since He exists throughout time and is simultaneously aware of all of it, it means He cannot change any of it since it would change Him, and he is meant to be immutable). And so on. Of course my teachers and my local priest (from Greece and not very well educated in philosophy) did not tell me they do not have the answers, instead they demanded I stop asking questions. When I got punished for refusing to stop, I instantly switched off religion. It is only as an adult that I can differentiate between what religion is responsible for and what I should blame on the ego of Man.

There is one thing I like about myself of that time and now - I refused to argue against religion. I took the attitude that I may be wrong, maybe Jesus did/does exist and if I use my abilities to convince a believer that He does not, I could end up costing that person a life in Heaven.

I remain respectful to all religions, apart from Islam, for I do not see that as a religion, but as an evil system of indoctrination. I have met many very good moslems and I have wondered how they can believe in something so evil and be so good and compassionate.

As should be expected, my characters reflect my own beliefs, but they discuss it more openly than I do (they piss me off when they draw conclusions that are opposite to my way of thinking).

I am 76 years old, my characters are mainly children, in body, if not in mind, and I wonder how it is they can be so much more mature than I am. Is it that we form certain ways of looking at the world and block ourselves to the truths which may question them, which slows our process of maturing, but that, when writing, with the excuse that it is not 'me' I am writing about, my subconscious allows me to allow them to argue those very attitudes that drive me?

Could it be said that an honest writer benefits more from his writing than his readers do?

I have opened the page to your other story so as not to forget to read it after I've finished the current stoy I am reading...oh-oh, I gave in to temptation and read part 1. Different pace and I like it. Now I will try to keep the rest for later.

I've bent your ear enough, thanks for reading :) if you made it to here.

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Now it becomes clear how much you've grown as a writer and a person. I like how the two are so optimistic that their dream friend is real. Come to think of it, maybe when I was their age, I had similar hopes as well. Collin's mom really had a sympathetic backstory. I like her already! I hope she plays a significant role.

Am I correct to assume that there's a three year time jump between this and the prologue?

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