MY BLOCKCHAIN MEMORIES #4 (CULTURAL AWARENESS AND RESPONSIBILITIES: THE STRUCTURE OF MY FAMILY SETTING IN 2004)
The South eastern part of Nigeria is precisely where I came from and we have a structure of how families are shaped whether taking a picture or assuming responsibilities to the family as well, it's believe in my culture that when a father dies, no matter the age he left his son behind, he must assume the role of a father, with total guidance from paternal uncles if there was any.
My father died when I was quite younger, I remembered going to the mortuary to claim his body, it was 2008, despite the fact that I was only 14, I had uncles who had attained the age of 40 or more, but due to the cultural belief that only I alone can take my father's body for burial, it means only I alone gets to do the job. It was a defining moment in my life, getting to see so many dead bodies piled up, it was a gory experience for me just like it will be for anyone my age handling so much responsibilities.
DESIGNATED RESPONSIBILITIES.
Being the first born in south eastern Nigerian cultures, comes more with playing daring roles rather than flexing seniority level. As little as age 12 if your father was wealthy you will get to be acquainted with everything he owns and must take coigniscance of all his records, mind you, all these happens if the first born of a family is definitely male, if however it turns out that the first born was female, then the responsibilities will move from the children till it gets to Male child, this belief was popularized because it's believed that females do not have a footstool in the family since they will be given away in marriage.
As the male child I took 70% of the responsibilities, attending village folk meeting, being a representative in family functions. My younger brother however didn't have any responsibility, he was more like a deputy who had no fuction till I wasn't around my mother took the remaining 30% responsibility In the absence of my father.
THE RANKING ORDER (AN EXTENDED FAMILY)
My father had only two children and that is me and my younger brother as a result of this we extended or dropped the nuclear family setting and embraced the extended whereby we get to accept the families of my father's siblings into the fold of our family, thus making us bigger and more complex.
picture taken 2004, my brother and I from left to right, and my paternal cousins with my mom at the far end.
In our family ranking, I mean when I comes to surnaming, we subjugate and break into nuclear families and thus it becomes me first in the ranking order, my mother, and my brother was last in the ranking order. I use to remember having my brother having to do my duties when I was sick and he sure hated having to be me.
My mon had a stroke in 2005 and it happened while we moved to the populous city of Lagos Nigeria, the fact that she didn't have any female children made it even more difficult to take care of her. The stroke paralysed half of her body, and she lost her sense of reasoning, her abilities to speak and lost the ability to control her urinary tract as well.
As a result of this, she totally became 100% dependent as well, I had to bathe her for 4 months, clothe and feed her too, till her brains started regaining mental consciousness and coigniscance, however I remembered taking three days out in order to treat myself of acute malaria, but my brother was adamant, wouldn't accept the role to take care of mother in my absence, but the truth was he only had an options because I was available should I not have been, he would be forced by my paternal uncle's to do the duty.
HOW STRANGE FAMILY RESPONSIBILITES SHAPED MY LIFE.
It was really gruelling for me to undergo the type of family practices that went on in my family, I felt it was too harsh and wicked to make a young boy as I was then pass through difficult of taking decisions in the name of culture. I felt my childhood was being taken from me because of my culture, although it was minimal while my father was alive, but his death further drew me close to the inevitability, however my only grudge was that it was too early, and I hadn't even finished high school.
The truth was that I had my childhood memories and experiences while my father was alive, but it was taken away from me the moment he died, though I'm 24 now I'm mufhbof more developed in reasoning, coignitive abilities, decision making and making choices than all my age mates, because I was exposed to far more too early in my life, although I do not agree with my family practices, some children my age would resort suicide, I had anaemia while growing up I still do, it was difficult because I couldn't convert enough oxygen to produce more blood, so I always faint at rigorous activities and become nauseous at times when exposed to cold weather.
Above all I'd say the memories weren't pleasing, expecially with my mother's illness, this will forever be memories I will always remember.
Yours @Josediccus
Thank you for reading
This is an entry for @ericvancewalton's Blockchain memories challenge (click the link below to see the rules)
Blockchain Memory Project - Journal Entry (8) - Taking Chances
Image originaly owned by me
The lord be with you, Nwanne
You really experience life at a way too young age.
Firs borns are actually deputy parent
You played the role so well.
God bless your family
Haha well what can I say, it was really difficult those times really, and that's why I can't forget the memories, thank you for the comment my friend
What an experience. The Lord is your strength. I hope your mom is healthy now. Though the role of a first born in Eastern Nigeria isn't easy but you will be more advanced in reasoning and abilities than your mates.
Yeah she is okay now, it was difficult then you know, I'm just glad it's become a memory to remember