Confession of my aunt: to adopt or not

Every time I thought about the baby, it seemed to me that something was squeezing in my chest and it was difficult to breathe. After endless attempts to get something intelligible from the doctors, I realized that I will not be able to give birth.

So, I can not share my impressions of my health, I do not know how he pushes his legs. Months of waiting, feeding, first teeth ... But I was not going to give up. I'm only 21 years old and I will have a child, I just knew it. But it happened so, that I got to the hospital with pneumonia. But, as my friend says, "In bad always look for good."

Our aunt was in our room, tall, large and very slovenly. Sometimes she would go out and leave in the afternoon. In one of my sadly current days, I saw her in a hospital corridor with a child. It was not clear: a boy or a girl. The child is not well groomed, short-cropped and some zashuganny. I saw the child's eyes. These were the eyes of an adult man, filled with such pain that my heart ached.

In the evening I asked her about this child. It turned out that the girl's mother is her distant relative. She died at birth. Grandfather and grandmother are chronic alcoholics, they do not need it. And for her it is a burden. She wants to take her to an orphanage. In the morning I knew that I would do it. My husband came, I talked to him, told her. I will not say that he immediately expressed his desire and was ready to become a dad. But he was not.

In the evening she brought the child with her and gave it to me. I talked to my attending physician, they let me go home. I will say that the adoption procedure was rather quick and easy.
Mashenka was an amazingly quiet child. The very first day she called me mom, but she did not say a word more. It was a neglected child. All in some diaper rash. In addition, she was registered as a child lagging behind in mental development.

I was not scared of this. Do you always have healthy children and do not the sick children love or abandon the real parents? Immediately I will say that our Mashenka is simply beautiful, beautifully paints, elegantly sings, she graduated from a music school in piano, graduated from high school, received a master's degree from the Institute of Foreign Languages ​​and went to another institute to get a second higher education related to computer technology.

When I hear that someone decided to adopt a child, this word "decided" for me says that these people will never become their own parents. Because in this word for me lies the doubt: but do I do the right thing? Do you think this way about the baby you carry in yourself? You are waiting for his appearance and love him with all your heart, whatever he is, he is your particle.

Sometimes there come across the articles, in which they write that foster parents are afraid to overdo the stick, i.e. be too strict. In this case, I always want to say that this child has not become and will not become your family. We are all people, we all have the right to make mistakes. The main thing is to be able to recognize your mistakes and correct them.

If you take in your family, in your child's life, you must decide for yourself once and for all: whether you are native to you or not. I do not mean by blood. If you look for some traits in it, some negative traces of heredity, do not adopt the child. Neither he nor you will ever be happy.

I know a family in which one child is a native, a second adoptive. Whatever did the native, his actions will always find an explanation and justification. As for the receptionist, they immediately sigh that this is a bad heredity.

I see no problems in the adoption of children. If you take a child with a hallmark in the family - this is one thing, if you take a child as your own, the family is another. Yes, a long-awaited little man appears in the family, whom you accepted as the most long-awaited miracle. He has his own character, his own tastes, his preferences, even if he is very small. And this must be taken into account. And what you sow, then reap.

Yes, it was not easy, but I did not regret my choice for a second. So, somewhere in heaven, apparently, was our meeting, my and my daughter's. It's such a blessing to kiss the sweet cheeks of your beloved girl.

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