Amanda. Chloe. Jennifer. May. That’s just a list of girls that have liked me just 2 minutes ago on Tinder.
Should I like them back?
I look at their pictures and feel that maybe I shouldn’t. But I’ve already liked six hundred people and only realized I have really talked to two.
I see a lot of girls that I like. Yet, I do not seem to be able to dream of anyone except one.
The problem is that the girl wrecks havoc in my dreams. Turns them into nightmares. Oh! Except that one time, when she says she speaks the same language as me and wants to know me better. Just goes into the toilet and asks me to wait. I wake up right after.

Bummer.

Billion dollar companies. Billionaires. Black American Express cards. Mansions. Private jet planes. What makes the world go round other than digital numbers running inside computers determining how much you have.

I’ve seen it on TV and so has billions of people around the world. How is it still no more than a few hundred of us are billionaires. One has to wonder.

I try to write something that can rival that of Mei Fong. But I’m staring at my computer with nothing special that I can think of. Maybe if I can just get the angels to contact me and Archangel Gabriel reads me the next Koran, I might have a chance.

The bus approaches with a sudden stop a few meters away from where I stand. I run towards it and manage to hop on before the doors close. I try to find a seat, looking at the sits that are being filled with the passengers that got on at my stop. I find a seat next to a girl that I instantly recognize as C.

“Hi C,” I try as hard as I can not to freak her out by freaking out myself.

“Hi. It’s been a long time. You seem to be carrying a heavy bag. What is inside?”

I pause for a moment trying to understand what she just said about 'long time'. “It’s just my diaries I love to carry around. I know it’s weird. But I’m scared that people might steal it and there goes my diaries.”

“Don’t be embarrassed. I have mine too.”

“Really? Yeah… I cannot lose them myself. You me exchanging?”

Don’t worry I tell myself. She doesn’t speak much English I know.“Sure.”

We exchange diaries. “This my stop, I gotta go J.”

“Thanks, C! I’ll memorize everything on each page.”

“Don’t! I won’t!” She leaves in a hurry.

C leaves and I’m left with 5 diaries filled with all the words I can ever read in my lifetime. I couldn’t wait to open the first diary.

I open it and find it very hard to read. The harder I concentrate, the harder it gets. When I see something,
I see a ceiling.

She isn’t real.

What is love? I tend to wonder. C is the only one I can think of that I will want to spend the rest of my life with. But she is just as distant as the stars in outer space. I will not fantasize about C because I believe that there is nothing to fantasize. All I do is pray that she will find someone to be within the future that might be good for her. Eventually, if she ever gets married and lives happily ever after, I would have played a part and maybe I will accept my fate as a single lonely journalist. Maybe novelist. OK. I am a writer.

Jane knocks me on the head.

“Ouch!” I shout.

“You’re at it again,” Jane hits me on the head as I try to dodge the third one. Epic fail.

“What was I doing other than just listening to the lecture,” I complain.

“Shhh… pay attention and stop dreaming.”

The room suddenly falls really silent and everyone in it was staring at me including the lecturer.
I find myself in my room, opening my eyes in the real world.
I’m already awake I can tell myself. But still this room feels like there is more to being awake than I can perceive. Something gnaws at me making me think that I might still be in a dream.

It ended before the thing even started. I go out into the world knowing that I still have a chance at success. That I can still be a major player in a changing world.

“Hey Bro!” a guy standing at the back of me said.

“Sup!” I said trying my best to sound cool.

“It’s your turn.”

“Oh.” I must have been dreaming again lining up at the washroom. I take a leak and get out of the washroom as fast as I can. What is the rush I wonder.
This is the end of the crazy dreams. I stroll by a clothing store and manage to see a person wearing a t-shirt with the word J on it. I pass. I think that’s C with the t-shirt. I walk past and then stop in my tracks. Backing up to the picture, I stare at it.

Is that C?

The waiter mutters something under his breath and looks at me with a smile.

3 minutes later…

A kid walks by and gives me a high 5 without any reason at all.

I do not know these people. For them to treat me the way they did does not make any sense at all. Maybe they have seen my guardian angel and so thought that I am a good person, thus leading to good vibes from me. So they respond.

“He doesn’t know.”

What doesn’t he know! Just tell me what doesn’t he know. Tell me! If they don’t tell me why they did what they did, I believe I am going crazy. I am going to be very angry! Like now!

“Oh. It’s President Trump again on the news.”

“Why bother. It is fake news anyway. We shouldn’t listen to the news anymore. Lies that try to bring down the most important man on the planet. And the universe. A good man who knows how to get women.”

I stumble and almost fall down on my face. “Sorry excuse me, I was just hoping to order a glass of milk.”

“Hey kid! We don’t serve milk!” the bartender shouts.

“Sorry again. Guess I thought this was Dairy Queen,” I said to the 2 gentlemen watching Trump news.

“Get out of here before I call your parents!” One of them shout.

“Yes sir!”

“Crazy kid thinks this is Dairy Queen. Must have something broken somewhere.”
Amanda asked me to meet her at this pub. But I think I better run for my life before somebody comes beat me up when they read my mind as to what is going on inside there.

I check C’s Insta. No messages. Fallon. No messages. CNN. No messages.

I guess they got bored of me. So they have all left.

Maybe that’s a good thing. I can go out there to find me someone soon. The contract has been terminated, breached or whatever you name it. It’s not valid any more.
This is the end and a new beginning is happening. The bird cage has been opened. I can fly out any time I want. But why do I still want to stay in this cage I wonder. It’s all gone and maybe I am happy. Or not.

I have been waiting to poop for the last hour or so. I play my Nintendo Switch Games. I read my Time Magazine. Go to Walmart to shop. Window shop in Best Buy. Watch all the Netflix movies I can. Time pass by. I eat. Drink. Work. Sleep. Dream. It’s time to go to church. Then I find that I have done nothing to get closer to C. If this is the case, why bother to even think about being with C when all I do is just live life like everybody else. Maybe I should be with C. Or not.

Endless crushes. Zero relationships.

If I exist, I’d already be loved by someone somehow already. I jump into my PJs and curl up on my bed with my iPad reading The Secret. I don’t know how many times have I read this book. But I want to believe what it says. That the law of attraction is real.

If I can just focus on one girl, and one girl only, then maybe my powers won’t be scattered everywhere.

But then, who is this girl that is going to walk into my life and live happily ever after with me.

If that can ever happens, when will that be?

If it can happen or if it ever happens… please God. Keep me alive for a thousand years.

If you missed the first part, here is Part 1.