SOURCE
أنني متعلق بالخرافات إلى الحد الذي يجعلني أحترم العقاقير
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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Found below in my comments to this post are more quotes by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
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Already even then I had my underground world in my soul. I was fearfully afraid of being seen, of being met, of being recognized.
Ah, Father! That’s words and only words! Forgive! If he’d not been run over, he’d have come home today drunk and his only shirt dirty and in rags and he’d have fallen asleep like a log, and I should have been sousing and rinsing till daybreak, washing his rags and the children’s and then drying them by the window and as soon as it was daylight I should have been darning them. What’s the use of talking forgiveness! I have forgiven as it is!
You are really angry with me for not having appeared to you in a red glow, with thunder and lightning, with scorched wings
به نظر من رنج ناتوانی از دوستداشتن است
پدران و استادان، از خود میپرسم جهنم چیست؟
But yet I am firmly persuaded that a great deal of consciousness, every sort of consciousness, in fact, is a disease.
To kill for murder is an immeasurably greater evil than the crime itself. Murder by legal process is immeasurably more dreadful than murder by a brigand. A man who is murdered by brigands is killed at night in a forest or somewhere else, and up to the last moment he still hopes that he will be saved. There have been instances when a man whose throat had already been cut, was still hoping, or running away or begging for his life to be spared.
But here all this last hope, which makes it ten times easier to die, is taken away FOR CERTAIN; here you have been sentenced to death, and the whole terrible agony lies in the fact that you will most certainly not escape, and there is no agony greater than that. Take a soldier and put him in front of a cannon in battle and fire at him and he will still hope, but read the same soldier his death sentence FOR CERTAIN, and he will go mad or burst out crying. Who says that human nature is capable of bearing this without madness? Why this cruel, hideous, unnecessary, and useless mockery? Possibly there are men who have sentences of death read out to them and have been given time to go through this torture, and have then been told, You can go now, you've been reprieved. Such men could perhaps tell us. It was of agony like this and of such horror that Christ spoke. No, you can't treat a mean like that.
Through children the soul is healed…
Fierce and solitary he awaited death, mistrustful and hostile to all