Forgiveness of Self - Day 184 - Daily Haiku - 100% of SBDs pledged to @rhondak's #tarc dog rescue

in #tarc6 years ago

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Forgiveness of self
with all my perceived failings
is hardest of all

It has always fascinated me that human nature, being what it is, tends to make us our own harshest critics, even when such criticism is entirely inappropriate.

Among my family and closest friends, I saw and experienced repeatedly that, while we would never consider holding another person to the ridiculously high bar to which we hold ourselves, we often thought nothing of being entirely unfair to ourselves, to the point in some instances of actual abuse.

And, while I have known a number of men who have this tendency, I have overwhelmingly seen it in women, and the smarter and more accomplished the woman, often, the harder she is on herself.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we so willing, even in the absence of an external abuser, to take on that role ourselves, and to treat ourselves far more harshly, or neglectfully, than we would ever consider treating another?

Why are we consistently, in every possible kind of situation, apologizing for simply being here? For being ourselves?

Clearly, much of it is societal, as we are taught from a young age that we are not good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or whatever enough, even when the truth is clearly otherwise.

We get it from advertisements, schools, our own families and churches . . . and, most of all, from ourselves.

So I for one am saying: No more.

I am instituting my own personal "Be Kind to Myself Day," and I am choosing this Saturday, 18 August 2018, as it was the birthdate of my Aunt Fran, who was one of the kindest and funniest people it has ever been my pleasure to know.

And I am inviting everyone who wants to to join me, to celebrate your own "Be Kind to Myself Day," and to truly spend some time that day doing what makes you happiest.

Further, I invite you to speak out the next time some random woman or girl apologizes when she did nothing wrong, and remind her that she has no reason to apologize, and every reason to celebrate herself for the amazing and wonderful light being that she is, every moment of every day.

Our thoughts create our world.

If we want to create a better world, we must first think better thoughts, and let go of those that no longer serve us, if indeed they ever did.

I was reminded today of The Work of Byron Katie, of how her Four Questions can turn around even the most trying issues that we are facing, and of how through her use of The Work, she managed to leave behind a debilitating depression that had left her institutionalized, estranged from her own family, and floundering for years.

I wrote this post that explains it simply, including how I was able to apply it in my own life, diffusing what could otherwise have been a very upsetting situation, and preventing it from affecting me in a negative way.

Let us all go forward and create a better world together, celebrating who we are, what amazing gifts we each bring to the table, and loving the moments of our lives as they each present themselves to us and one another.

I love you, each and every one of you, for the amazing creator that you are. Be blessed.

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I am coming off of a month (or two? three?) having fallen off of the wagon, so to speak. I was doing so well with self acceptance and treating myself with kindness, but I've dug myself deep into that hole of self loathing again. This post was just what I needed to help me turn things back around.

Thank you for sharing.

My pleasure, and I'm happy that it helped.

We all go there from time to time, we're all human, but we can also make better choices, and when we don't, we can remind ourselves that there really is a better way.

And yes, I know it's sometimes easier said than done, as when we're in that hole, finding the positives can seem entirely out of reach. But they've never left us - they are right here with us - all the time.

I strongly recommend checking out The Work, as I have found it to really help, especially on those days when I just want to bite someone's head off, preferably my own.

By asking myself the Four Questions, and answering honestly, I can get myself out of the deepest funk quickly - when I remember to use them.

Take care, @byn.

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