Naughtiness, the growth of a self-identity?

in #teamsouthafrica6 years ago

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I wonder why it is that when I get older, I spend more time in the dreams of memory?

I suppose the elements of stern judgment and linked emotional discomfort become less through becoming older as compared when I judged myself when a younger person. Unrecognised tolerance grows. I would not think that it is as much self-rationalisation and excusing oneself from transgression as the growth of understanding the frailties each human being carries in their own life-journey. Does one grow towards the hopes and desires of a better character that was so boldly envisioned in one’s youth?

Just as I have been able to get the emotional strength to start looking at the fractitious and turbulent past of my country South Africa, I find I can start to look at my early emergent self-will, my own ego and my own decision-making.
When I look back at those years of the early 1970’s I am both appalled and amused at my conduct.

I was the oldest child and hence I believe I was a bit of a bully towards my three younger brothers when there was a conflict of wills. My parents were raised in religious environments of their own when young and they continued the same trend when adults in their own lives. Yet when I look at the conduct of my brothers and me, I wonder what exactly happened?

As I have said in previous articles, the radio and the drive in, were the only two institutions where our family could find entertainment, apart from social functions at a small and close religious community of our faith. Going out to restaurants was out of the question. Holidays were taken when the Old Man could get leave. These holidays always consisted of going down to East London at the coast from Welkom, a mining town in the northern Orange Free State.

In the current South Africa, it is a legal offence to give your child a hiding. In those days back in Welkom, any authority figure could give an errant youth a hiding; the school principal, teachers, parents, uncles and aunts, even an adult stranger could issue a clout or two. The parents of the offending child could be unhappy but in general it was an acceptable practise. My Dad had a short wooden plank with a handle, onto which was attached a leather strap. I can’t remember the name it had but it was extremely effective in administering justice of quite a painful dimension. My Dad was a happy fellow who was loath to give hidings. My Mother who interacted much more with the four boys, used to carp on at the Old Man, eventually he would lose his temper and punish us. Then my mother would reprimand the Old Man by saying that he never could control himself when clobbering us with the belt. Of course as we got punished we would all over react with much howling. Then the Old Man would bellow at my mother to make up her mind. She would respond with “you always go too far!” I still chuckle when I look back to those scenes of pandemonium.

I must say we thoroughly deserved whatever pounding we got. Whatever misdeeds we could not think of by ourselves, our ingenious friends invented more of and added to our repertoire of crimes.

I shall list a few here:
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(1) SMOKING. In our faith as Mormons, we have the “Word of Wisdom” where all members are expected to follow. No smoking, alcohol, tea, coffee or drugs (excluding medically prescribed). In those days advertising was allowed and in my mind they were certainly the best ones on the radio. Gunston, Lexington, Peter Styvessant and others not so cool like Pall Mall. I can still clearly remember the jingle of the first two. Peter Styvesant adverts were at the drive in and always had the most beautiful young men and women living in the most exotic holiday places laughing and having so much fun. So as kids it was the coolest thing to steal matches from the house. We would take brown paper (healthier than white paper) and roll up some straw in the middle. My brother made a secret den in the refuse heap. We crept in there and tried to smoke our inventions. We never inhaled and the fumes burnt our eyes. When we got older we got more daring and bought some cheap cigarettes (ten Lexingtons cost 10 cents, maybe 7 cents). I think it was seven cents. Kids were allowed to buy cigarettes for their parents. My best friend and I went to the movies (we called it bioscope, the American term was not used yet). We had a pack of cigarettes, we sat near the back where the older kids sat and lit up. To our utter horror, a man with a flashlight came and pulled us out of the show. He demanded our names, our parents’ names and our home telephone numbers. We still told the truth; as I was giving the details I still thought how stupid am I being. We were in a state of shock as we stumbled home. As we were going through a piece of vacant land, my friend Arturo, stopped walking and said we should offer a prayer to God. He started to pray. I had never heard him pray before. In my prayers I had always addressed God as Heavenly Father, but my catholic friend, speaking in manly tones of unusual depth (to my eleven-year-old mind), just said “God”. He stood in a manly pose with one foot posing on a rock with knee bent. Numerous promises were made of never repeating our crime, just don’t let the manager phone our parents. Well the manager didn’t phone and we never adhered to our promises. Nothing like the passage of time and we soon forgot our pledges of being good “from now on”.

(2) Stealing milk bottle money.
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In those days of yore and in our youth, money was rare and greatly desired. The local dairy used to deliver a service to each home. The milk used to come in glass pint bottles. Each home who desired milk would leave out an empty milk bottle with some coins in when the occupants went to bed each night. Very early the next morning a milk van used to travel the dark street and exchange a fresh bottle for the empty and coins. My brother and a few of our friends who were sleeping over on the Friday night, planned a raid at midnight. We would wake up and go quietly down the streets. Yards were not fenced in with high walls and dogs as is currently the case. In those days the Black Men were not allowed into white areas without a “pass” in their permit book. Failure to comply meant immediate arrest. So it was “safe” for kids to wander around alone. When all the loot had been collected and the little crooks returning home, a few of the more daring fellows would throw stones onto the roofs of houses they were passing. We would all run in terror as fast as we could in case someone came outside and caught us. The gains would be evenly split and sweets bought. After time the dairy got wise to this local custom of the youth and plastic coupons would be sold to those wanting to have fresh milk in the morning. This brought an end to our weekend crime.

(3) Clod throwing at cars.
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A clod is different to a rock. A clod (it was hoped) was just a bit of hardened earth. Us kids used to build up a pile of these and hide behind the hedge (of our own yards it must be said) and wait for a car to pass by. We would time it and hurl these objects at just the time we imagined the car was passing. When we heard the thump and screeching of brakes we would run inside through the back door and hide. We would only engage in this activity when my Mom went to the shop and the miscreants left at home.

(4) The final one I want to mention in this article is dedicated to my brother; the one just younger than me.
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We loved playing “army”. Each of us would have a gun toy and stalk each other. It was actually quite pointless as the enemy would always miss us as we shot at them. The enemy would also say that our bullets had missed. Loud noises would issue from each of us in sound that we imagined was gunfire. My brother loved climbing the tree next to the house and clamber over the roof to get a surprise advantage over his enemy. The roof was made of tiles and there was one section that was not sturdy. After one or two accidents, my Dad warned us sternly to NOT climb on the roof. I heeded the warning. Several weeks passed. One day I came home from visiting my friend and entered my room. All I saw was brilliant blue sky and dust everywhere. There was a hole in my roof. My brother had not listened and while playing soldiers with his younger brothers, fell through the roof. I knew somebody was going to die when my Dad got home at 2.30 in the afternoon. We all waited in dread. We heard the little motorbike park in the yard. My Dad entered with a friendly greeting as he always did. My Mother spoke softly to him and then he exploded and lost his temper. He never even got his belt. My brother was bellowed at and received a couple of fast clouts to his head with my Dad’s flat hands. My brother lurched away and my Dad’s shoe kicked him in the backside. He went flying down the passage. My Mother leapt in to protect my brother. Justice had been served!!
More tales will be shared in the future. This is no attempt to glorify our crimes. I just wonder what exactly went on in our heads. I don’t believe that we were stupid, so why was our memory so short term? For me the fear of a good hiding kept me in check. Not so much for my brother just younger than me. What I took to a point, my brothers would outdo me and reap the desserts. They were probably a bit young to try and play as close to the line as possible like I did. Anyway I was generally more interested in reading books anyway.

Discipline and adhering to the standard of public law and order were carefully watched by the authorities. Of course some naughty youngsters were not the focus, the rising anger of the Black community was. But those were still early days, before the storm.

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WOW! Impressive cool memories you have, we all have some good and harsh memories which always act as a medicine when you remember those in your current age. I also have three siblings and earn good memories too. You are full of good memories.
Stay Blessed..!!

As a person grows older, much of his behavior changes
Smoking is bad and harmful to human health
A very special article really well published
It is of great importance to us

Personally i like smoking flaver, although that's a harmful. Actually I try to white smoking.
Thanks for sharing this post my dear friend....

A very surprising and instructive story, my friend, of course we were all young and we had different lives, some of them gave themselves up to study and stayed at home, someone was looking for adventure and I was also sometimes hot and irresistible, but there was more order in my youth! Thank you @fred703

mavilious post the content in it make me to read it and i read it with full pleasure how greatly you define discipline in life and community and appericate your work from the bottom of my heart @fred703 god bless and keep it up!

As his age grows, thinking becomes even more different, the more mature the mind without the need for selfish, adult thinking is expected in the family so as to give positive feedback to the family.
A very interesting post @fred703

If you want to change your life just start with small steps, by being a bit happier about your life and appreciating what you currently have. That state of mind will shift from where you are to a different place, but you have to be consistent; otherwise, you might give up.

so,good writing @fred703
resteem.....done

It was ridiculous to read. You are growing up a hooligan. Although someone in the childhood of us was obedient :) It's all energy and stupidity. The main thing is that you grew up a good person. Thank you for an interesting article.

I love that description, all energy and stupidity. I could use some of that energy now!

a very good post @fred703, this can be a very good motivation for all of us in living this life. In this life we as men must have different ways of thinking, such as the way of thinking of old people and young people. But even so, older people have more knowledge than young people. So whatever we do is important we must stay focused on one goal, then with it, we can get what we want. Thanks for sharing...

Really wonderful writing sir... I appreciate your words... naughtiness is really one type of self-identity...☺ Your writing really amazed me always.👍

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