when the going gets tough...

we have all heard the expression "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". A nice perky phrase to motivate us when we are under pressure. Pressure can be defined as going through a difficult experience, which can tax the emotional, physical and mental capacities of an individual.

A perfect example from World War Two comes to mind. When the German Luftwaffe where bombing London to pieces, their Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, was seen among the ruins visiting the civilians, offering sympathy and words of encouragement. Later in the same war, when the tide began to turn against the Nazi Empire and the Allied airforces were gaining the advantage, German cities were bombed. Yet where was Adolf Hilter? Did he ever go into the streets of those devastated cities to encourage his nation. No, he did not. So we can see how poorly Hitler compared to Churchill.

I also liked another expression when I was a kid; "when a drip is placed under pressure, he becomes a squirt!"

When I was younger and started to learn how to not only observe but think too, I came up with this idea "Circumstances do not create the character of a person, they merely expose the character of a person". What we are is often created long before that "moment of truth". The accumulation of small deeds combined.

Everyone knows this:
Thoughts lead to Actions;
Actions lead to Habits;
Habits lead to Character; and
Character leads to Destiny.

Lets go back and look at Churchill and Hitler, why were they both so different?

first consider possible similarities:

Both seemed to be courageous soldiers.
Both seemed to be driven by a sense of destiny to lead their nations.
Both regarded their own nations as better than others.

then what were the differences?

Churchill was born with a silver spoon (he was very wealthy); Hitler came from a middle class family.
Churchill worked through democratic processes; Hitler worked through thuggery and intimidation.
Churchill rallied his followers to love their empire; Hitler rallied his empire by hatred to Jews and other lesser races
Churchill was trying to save an empire; Hitler was trying to create an empire.

As the war unfolded, Hitler became more cruel and depressed, whereas Churchill became a more noble figure.

Trying to relate such global figures to ordinary people like you and I, is quite easy. Daily deeds of kindness and service build up people into noble creatures. Probably never to achieve fame and glory in the worldly sense but loved by their peers and associates. However, unfortunately, there are also those who are opposite. Who use manipulation and fear, who intimidate and bully.

In business, I remember such a scenario, I was fortunate to work for a company where the directors were friends, they were professional men. Of particular note was my financial director, a good Christian man, who lived his life according to his own code, there were other directors of the same ilk; good men. I was the accountant and one of my primary functions was to make sure that the "ladies" remained in a good vibe to each other. The company staff enjoyed each others company so much, that we had a social club where we all would spend occasional week ends together at various resorts on the coast with our families. When deadlines arose that were very tight, the staff (me particularly) would never have a problem working many overtime hours each year end.

Yet after seven years, a major customer took over the business. The Managing Director of that operation was a brilliant man, globally recognised in his field and even in several American universities. Even the Japanese would come visit his factories to see how to maximise space usage. But this man did not use the "nice environment" method, he preferred "contention and competition"; staff would betray each other to the Boss often, and stab each other in the back to get a competitive advantage. They were hard men and they drank a lot together. Fortunately I was retrenched and never had to work with them.

Now my poor wife is in a similar predicament in her own life. Manipulation, bullying, cruelty and fear. Of course the "automatic / natural" response is to want to respond in kind. Yet she does not, also, I have counselled her to be careful and to continue being kind and of service to all around. These moments of great challenge, when they come our way, are defining. Why? Because what we do in these moments is "cemented" into our character. In the scriptures, people are defined as being "clay" in the hands of the Potter. Clay after being formed needs to be baked in a furnace to become a useful product; aren't our trials similar in many ways? People who undergo difficult experiences well, are more mature and empathetic. They can "see" and "hear". Several years ago I had a spinal tumour, two years of great difficulty were experienced by me and my family. I learnt a great deal and I confess the experience was life defining for me. Because I have endured pain, I can understand (to a measure) the pain of others. I also know how I can be of a small measure of assistance.

So when the going gets tough, what are we going to do? What are we going to show? Are we growing well or shrinking into miserable self absorption and self pity? Not easy, but so many have succeeded and made themselves better people.