No photos " Just want to express my feelings and let my emotions explode "

Tonight I want to try the unusual thing that rarely did by people here in steemit.
I want to express my feelings with out using any images or photos just simply my words.
As my emotions are about to explode because of this deep sadness that is drilling my heart.
I want to sob and shout to release these tensions I feel inside.

I kept on questioning myself why I need to face this painful things?

I had a special someone for almost 12 years and we've been together physically for 10 years.
She leaves last 2016 when she decided to work abroad to find her luck.
The day she left we never forget to communicate everyday. We promised to each other that no matter what happen our relationship will be the same even we are departed by miles away.

She is my bestfriend since we were young and we are living in the same place. We started our relationship in high school that is the time when I tell that I love her. Where I was so happy the day she responded the same what feel. I think I'm floating on the top of cotton candy. A feeling that no one can measure my happiness.

That is the day before we separate our lives and she chose money over love?

Why my love has corresponding value lower than the worth of single penny?

Why a person could forget everything just to have the things what they want in life?

Why I should be the victim of this trial?

Why I still can't move on and unable to find another one?

Why I am afraid to fall in love again?

That day when she stops loving me and the day she chose to cut the string that connects our hearts.
I cant accept to myself that day she is no longer part of my life.
I remember the time that I always drunk, I spent most of the time in drinking alcohol, cigarettes and doing unwanted actions together with my friends.
There was also a time that I want to jump while the jeepney is running and there was a time that I find no purpose with my life. One year doing these things repeatedly until depressions hits me.

Don't know where to go, don't know where to run?

Until now we don't have closure that's why I'm unable to move on with my life.
I am seeking for answers to bundle of my questions.
I am waiting for the day that we could talk.

Am I ready to see her?

I already accepted the fact that we are not meant to be as a family.
We are not meant to be partners no matter what the situation in life is.

Writing this post while my tears are spontaneously flowing from my eyes.
A tears that I don't deserve to be treated this way.

Feeling of UNFAIR

I know there are people who experienced worst than mine and it is not my intention to compare my pain in life to anyone.

I just want to share this emotions I feel that could lighten my heavy loads.
I want to release all the grudges that kills my emotions.

I want to free myself from the cage of guilt.
As I want to see my self on the future days fully restored the broken pieces of my heart.

Then @jezmacher as part of the upsizing growing community team like @steemph @steem-untalented @artguild @steemgigs @philippines @bayanihan @steemphcebu @steemphdavao @steemphdavao @steemphuae @steemphnegros they curate and support others work for progression. As day goes by these communities are spreading and increasing in numbers.

don't forget to support @surpassinggoogle for his generosity and kindness by simply voting @steemgigs as your witness

or if you want @surpassinggoogle to choose as your proxy just key in @surpassinggoogle

please do also support my ever supportive friends my discord family @smaeunabs @epicdominic @watersnake101 @cejero21 @mabzter @jaypeesun07 @iamqueenlevita @oscargabat @gailbelga @luvabi @dreamiely @bearone @st3llar @dwightaden @cloh76 @princepr @immarojas @allmonitors @flabbergast-art @bobiecayao and the rest of @steemph family.

Just leave you comments, upvote , and resteem
Thank you for visiting!!