Many Thai Man have a "Mia Noi"

Many married Thais hold a mistress and occasionally have to pay for it bitterly.

Nan was 23 when her life suddenly turned: The beautiful cosmetics saleswoman got to know the rich owner of a department store. Since then she has been driving a Honda Accord, staying in one of the posh apartment blocks on Bangkok's Sukhumvit Street, wearing expensive clothes and lots of jewelry.
Each month, the patron donates 40,000 baht (about 1200 USD) - more than a Thai professor earns. "I can live well on the money and also support my parents and younger siblings," says Nan. The reward is that she is ready day and night for her 54-year-old lover.

He is married, has two children and does not think about getting a divorce. But because the marriage has become too boring, he keeps with Nan, what the Thai call "mia noi", a "concubine".
With increasing prosperity, hundreds of thousands of Thai men now afford a mistress, some more. Often the "mia noi" give birth to children.
Mia nois exists in "all walks of life," says social scientist Siriporn Skrobanek. "Politicians, senior government officials, the rich and the not-so-rich," reported the English-language Thai newspaper NATION, "openly keeping a concubine."

For many men, the lover is a status symbol such as Rolex watch, mansion and luxury car. "They feel confirmed in their pride, playing the role of protector in their harem," said women's rights activist Supawadee Phetcharat.

In addition, many Thais believe that they can reduce the AIDS risk with a permanent second partner, since they save themselves the usual brothel visits. Duties bring the relationship is not: men can chase their lover from one day to the other, maintenance for illegitimate children they usually do not pay.

"What's the matter when married men take a concubine or women voluntarily take on that role?" asks the well-known author Ying Kowsurat, who quite approvingly calls his mates a "gang of horny beasts".

Lenten marriage has a tradition: as in China, the rich and powerful in the former Siam once entertained a harem. Under King Rama I, the founder of the still-ruling Chakri dynasty, the law explicitly allowed two concubines in addition to the brides chosen by their parents. Above all, it was to be prevented that former nobles brought sexually transmitted diseases to prostitutes.

The urge to become a lover remained unbroken when polygamy was banned by law in 1932. Legendary is the record attempt of the former Prime Minister, Field Marshal Sarit Thanarat, who put himself in power in 1958. He not only diverted a quarter of the state budget for himself, but also diligently collected concubines. "I counted a total of 171, which he provided," remembers a former playmate Sarits. "He built houses for them, bought cars." Up to 20 of the ladies, known among the Bangkok residents as "red pajamas", lived right at the barracks area of ​​the 1st Army Division.
Even politicians of the present keep it that way. Interior Minister Snoh ​​Thienthong and his mistress Jitra Tosaksit have three adult sons.

For young rural women, the relationship with an elderly, married man is often the only chance to escape poverty in a short time. If the patron leaves, the women have often saved enough to become self-employed with a business. The former cosmetics saleswoman Nan, for example, wants to enter the textile trade later.

"He solves all your problems with his money, you have your freedom when he's not there, it's different than having a boyfriend of the same age who may be struggling with financial problems," says saleswoman Phaa, 26.
Even the office worker Raewadee Thaweedej, 30, would find little to become a concubine: "Better mia noi of a rich man as a prisoner in an unhappy marriage, in which there is not enough at every turn."

The women are largely powerless anyway. Deceived husbands are allowed to divorce immediately, deceived wives on the other hand only have a right to separation, if they can prove that their husband shares with the rival not only occasionally the bed, but also publicly the everyday.

When unfaithfulness becomes known, relatives and friends often blame the wife for driving the poorest into someone else's arms. Therefore, many wives take away competitors, writes columnist Sanitsuda - "like a headache".
Others seek liberation with a radical cut on masculinity. In Thailand, there are increasing cases in which women take revenge for humiliation with the kitchen knife.

Doctors at the Siriraj Clinic in Bangkok specialize in re-suturing the severed corpus delicti. This is not always possible. One entragmented wife fed the ducks with it, another sent it, tied to a balloon, to the sky.

Sources: Spiegel, the Bangkok Post, news.com.au, hook up travels.com, pinterest