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My Journal

By D.D. Schteinn

Age: 11 Years

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Wednesday – October 28th

Dear Journal,

So exciting. It's almost here. Halloween! The best day of the year. Fish says it has something to do with people talking about people dying. But dressing up and getting tons of candy is all we really know about. And this year, it's on a Saturday. No school that day! Plenty of time to get our costumes done. We're going to meet up under the Camelback Bridge today after school, to plan our costumes.

Uh oh, I gotta go. Miss Griner is looking at me from the chalkboard over her glasses. I swear she's got eyes in the back of her head. Even though I'm writing this with my math book propped up, I think she knows. If she catches me, I'm dead. I'll finish it tonight. - B.F.N.

I'm Back-
We met up at the flag pole after school, and walked down Linden street to the bridge. Old Man Klotzky wasn't in his back garden, so we ran real fast to the bushes above the tracks. On the way through Klotzky's yard, Tommy chased his hens all over the place. They made a real racket. So we had to cheese it fast before he came out again. Last time he really let us have it.

Once we got through the bushes and down the bank, Tommy laughed until he cried. “Those fat chickens are weird, but fun to chase.” Fish rolled his eyes. “They're not chickens Tommy, they're Guinea Fowl. He raises them.”

Tommy laughed even harder at Fish. “What's a chicken got to do with baseball?” Griz pushed Tommy into a bush, “WHAT in blue blazes are you talking about, Tommy?” Tommy turned all red, “Gimme foul. You know, when you get to take second base after a pop-up foul ball. What else?!!”

Fish looked annoyed at Tommy, “Guinea Tommy, GUINEA. A Guinea FOWL. F-O-W-L!! It's a type of barnyard bird.” Tommy pushed Griz back, then headed for the bridge before Griz could pound him. “Jeesh, don't get sore, Fish, they're just a bunch of dumb chickens.”

We sat on the old sofa under the bridge, tossing stones at the train tracks while we talked about our costumes. Sometimes it's hard to hear down there, when the cars drive over the bridge. They make a huge 'clonk clonk' noise when they run over the loose boards in the middle. I sure love that sound from down below. I can hear it from my bedroom at night sometimes. Tommy said an old car fell through the bridge onto a train years ago. Claimed the car AND the people ended up way over in Farmer City. But Fish said that wasn't even possible. And that he was nuts. I swear they argued about it for twenty minutes straight.

We finally decided. Griz is going to be a football player Saturday. He LOVES Bart Star. I'm going to be a ghost, and Fish is going as a turtle. Tommy wants to be a space man. We're not sure how to make that costume. But we promised to think about it tonight and talk about it more tomorrow at school.

Mom rang the dinner bell, so I ran up the dusty bank toward the other side of the bridge. As I climbed the hill I could hear Tommy and Griz arguing about who broke their rock on the rails first, and Fish yelled at me to wait up. He likes to walk home with me as far as he can. Think he's afraid of running into Jimmy McDimmit. Or WORSE, Dimpy Simpkins, when he cuts through Goliday's Woods to his house. Not sure what I could do for him if we DID see them, but we were lucky today.

Good Night, Journal

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Thursday - October 29th

Dear Journal,

We talked at lunch about our costumes. Fish, me and Griz know what we're doing. Tommy still wants to be a space man. It's hard. We decided to go to Old Man Tucker's Dump to find things to make him into a space man. Oh, and Sherrie Lewter was in the lunchroom today. She walked right by our table. I couldn't BELIEVE it. I smiled, but she didn't see me. Darn.

Tommy stuck two Oreos over his eyes, and made smooching noises, until Griz punched him on the arm. The cookies fell out into his applesauce. Fish blew his milk out his nose laughing so hard. Luckily Sherrie didn't see any of this.

After school we biked to the dump. We dug all over the place. We wanted to find some old hoses or pipes for arms and legs for Tommy’s costume. There wasn't any anywhere. Then Fish came up with a smart idea. Why not use tin cans instead? We could wire them together. Digging all over, we found a whole bunch by the old crane. We tried on some baking soda and bean cans, but Tommy's arms were too fat to use them. He got stuck in a soup can for a long time. We laughed, but he didn't think it was funny.

The Shell and Mobile oil cans fit his arms and legs better. We found a big pile of them, and an old wooden box to carry them in. Griz dug up some wire to hold them together. Then Fish came up with the BEST part. Over by the stinky pond. An old, round fish bowl for a helmet. It was really cool. He put it on Tommy's head, and the glass made his eyes bug out from the outside.

We found a fat, punctured bicycle inner tube. We can use it as the part that goes around his neck. Just like the Russian guys in space. It looked GREAT. Fish said they're called cosmonauts, and theirs are made of leather. But we can't be picky. I guess he saw Russian spaceman suits at a museum at Cape Canaveral. Two summer's ago when he was visiting his Uncle in Florida.

We hopped on our bikes and pedaled home. Just in time. Mom was clanging the dinner bell as I went up the drive. We'll put all this together tomorrow after school. I'm tired after all that digging in the dump.

Good Night, Journal

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Friday - October 30th

Dear Journal,

We met in my garage after school. We used Mom's hand can opener to take the top and bottom of the oil cans off. It took a long time. Then we used Dad's Yankee Drill to make holes around the edges for the wire. We wired the cans together, in big long tubes like a caterpillar. They fit really good on Tommy's arms and legs.

Mom dug Dad's old red and black checked wool hunting shirt out of the trunk in the attic. We turned it inside out so the tan, pillow-y part was on the outside. Tommy looked just like a puffy space man on the TV. Since he is round already, it made him look like he was full of air. We cut the inner tube shorter in the middle. Then stuffed it with newspaper, and tied the ends together. Tommy has a BIG head. But it finally went over with some stretching. He cussed a lot, but not as much as Fish. It finally fit around his neck to rest the fish bowl onto. On his head. We still don't have any space pants for him though.

The space helmet looks pretty cool. Though Tommy kept complaining he couldn't hear in there. We said it didn't matter, we'd yell Trick or Treat for him. But all he did was holler back “WHAT?!!” Really really loud. Over and over. Griz said he makes a dorky space man. Luckily Tommy couldn't hear him. We painted the back half of the bowl with some of Dad's black roofing paint. He looked like a real space man. It made him very happy.

Griz and Fish went home to finish working on their costumes. Tommy left his costume in my garage, since the stuff wouldn't fit in the baskets of his sister's bike. Especially the helmet. Plus, he said his older brother would take it. Tommy has a hard life.

I went inside so Mom could help me with my costume. It was easy. A white sheet, with holes cut for eyes. She pinned my Dad's flat, striped wool sports-car cap on the top of my ghost head. So I could be a 'cool ghost'. I looked great in the mirror. I think my costume is the best.

Tonight at dinner, Mom almost blew the whole thing. We were eating desert, when she said, “Why don't you take your little sister with you. When you boys go Trick or Treating tomorrow? She'd like to go, and that would be a nice thing to do.” I didn't know WHAT to say. My stomach felt like it fell out and landed on the floor next to the dog. All I could come up with was “Mo-om, she'll ruin it.” Luckily Dad said I should be able to go with my friends, and not take my little sister. I was saved. How would I ever explain THAT to the guys.

Good Night, Journal

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Saturday - October 31
Halloween!!

Dear Journal,

The BIG day. We met by the old World War I statue at 5:30. I tried to bike with my costume on, but couldn't see where I was going. I crashed a couple of times. The eye holes moved all over the place when I turned my head. When I got to the statue, the guys were all there. Griz had his usual football stuff on. His number 15 Green Bay jersey, helmet, and black stuff under his eyes. Tommy looked like a fat space man. But Fish was the BEST. He had a pillow tied to his stomach, with bailing twine making it into the squares. Just like the bottom of a turtle. He had a garbage can lid tied to his back for the shell. It was painted green, with squares outlined with black magic marker. But it still had the handle on.

Griz loaned him his baseball catchers shin guards. As turtle legs. They were too long, so the knees were way up on his thighs. Fish sure is little. It made him walk all stilt-legged. But he looked great. His Mom painted his face green, with black and gold stuff making him look like a skinny turtle face. Good thing she teaches art.

Fish had on his Mom's green fuzzy slippers, for turtle feet. Tommy thought this was hilarious. He kept stealing the slippers, then shuffled around the base of the big statue, with Fish hobbling after him. Tommy kept calling out "look, I'm Missus Gooseberry." We didn't know WHO that was, or get it at all. But we laughed anyway.

I put on my ghost costume, and the guys helped get it all straight. Fish asked me if I was a “Goblin In A Jaunty Cap”? I liked that. We headed down the street to start ringing doorbells. We were excited to get going and get some candy.

We stopped at Miss Fremplemeyer's house after a few other houses. She was a teacher. Before we were born. Now she lives alone. And wears long dresses. Some folks called her Miss Charlotte, but we were told to called her Miss Fremplemeyer. Her house smelled like moth balls mixed with baby powder and ham loaf. When she came to the door, we yelled "Trick or Treat" real loud. Tommy was REALLY loud in his fish bowl. She jumped. I think he scared her. She just said “MERCY”, with her hand on her throat.

She held out a clear, green glass candy dish, took off the lid, and it was full of little white lace bags, tied with fancy string. Inside were either white, powdery candies with mint green jelly centers, or brown pillows of peanut butter inside a hard candy outside. We'd never even SEEN candy like this before. Let alone got to eat it. We each took one of each. Except Tommy. He took a handful. Griz slugged him and told him not to be a pig, but he couldn't hear inside his fishbowl helmet.

Miss Fremplemeyer looked a bit scared. She stared at Tommy's buggy eyes through his foggy helmet, and quickly closed the door. Fish said “she looked mortified.” We didn't know what that looked like, but figured it wasn't good. I felt a bit sorry for her, but didn't say anything to the guys.

A couple of houses later, we got some apples instead of candy. Tommy yelled through his helmet. It sounded something like “dumb-stupid fruit crappola!!” Then threw his at a telephone pole. Griz pulled his apple out, but Fish got mad, and took all our apples from our sacks. He liked them, and said it was a big waste to throw them. Griz said something about “nobody worth his costume wants dumb fruit, when there's candy to be had.” Tommy just looked at us with his odd, fishbowl eyes, since he couldn't hear a thing. Fish changed the subject, “my aunt Berthea always gives out S&H Green Stamps, for Halloween. Just imagine getting those.” I really couldn't.

Our pillow cases were getting heavier, but that only made us move slower. And reminded us of how much loot we were getting. We moved over a street, and rang some more bells. Things were going good, until we got to the big green house on the corner. Tommy was sweating like a pig, and his helmet was getting all fogged up again. We told him to take it off between houses, but all he did was yell “WHAAAAAAT?!” Then he asked us if he smelled like motor oil. We told him it was just because of the helmet that he could smell it. But he DID remind me of when I went with my Dad to Ericson's Auto Garage when the car was broken. I think it was all those old oil cans wired to Tommy's arms and legs that smelled.

We climbed the stairs to the porch at the green house. And rang the bell. Out on the porch, the lady held out a brown grocery bag full of candy bars. She was BIG, like Mad Dog Magursky on All Star Wrestling. And looked really tough, with a TATTOO, and could even talk with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. We each took a couple of bars. Except Tommy. He took three hand-fulls.

I thought maybe Griz would say something, but the lady beat him to it. She turned all red like a tomato, scrunched up her face, and shouted "What ARE you DOING", in a deep, booming voice. We all jumped, then turned really fast to go. Since Tommy's helmet was all fogged up, he couldn't see. He ran right off the edge of the porch, and landed in the ladies flower bed. Luckily his helmet didn't break, but the lady leaned on the rail and started hollering at him to get out of her tulips. Tommy rolled over onto his back in the dirt, and yelled “WHAAA-AAAT?!”

We pulled him up, and ran off as best we could. Laughing all the way. I couldn't see a darn thing through my eye holes, but managed to run without ramming into anything. Fish looked like a stilt-man trying to run in the catcher's leg things, and Tommy running full speed in his tin can-legs made enough clanking noise to be heard half way across town. We laughed again till we had tears in our eyes.

We sat under Old Man Kurth's tree, to check our candy bags and catch our breath. Tommy was eating all his Three Musketeers AND Mars Bars, and kept tossing sticks at Fish's garbage can 'shell'. Fish got really mad. He jumped up and let out a string of cuss words for a minute straight, until old man Kurth's porch light came on. “WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE?!” He hated us on his lawn. We took off again, with Tommy clanking away like the Tin Man, and headed over to Elm street. And the scary house.

We didn't know the guy's name, but we knew the house. The one with no paint. The one with the windows boarded up on the second floor. The one with old rusty cars in the front yard. The one kids at school said was haunted. We rang the bell, and just stood there when he answered. He had on a sleeveless t-shirt, and though really skinny, had a lot of hair sticking out everywhere from the edges of his shirt. And a lot of hair coming out of his ears and nose, and had REALLY bushy eyebrows. At first I thought maybe HE was in a costume.

He spit brown tobacco off the side of the porch, muttered something under his breath, and started dropping stuff into our bags. Then asked what we were supposed to be. We answered back, one after the other: “Football Quarterback.” “Goblin In A Jaunty Cap.” “A Turtle.” “WHAA-AAAAAAT?!!!” The man shook his head, mumbled something about peckerts and woods, and slammed the door.

Back on the sidewalk, we looked in our pillow cases. It wasn't candy. It was bolts and other weird garage hardware things. Griz got a few big roofing nails. Fish got a couple of cool nuts that said Studebaker on them. I got an old kitchen spatula with half the red wooden handle gone. Tommy got three round rocks. He was hopping mad. He pulled his helmet off, shouting “what the heck, I got ROCKS! Let's T.P. his house.”

We thought about it, but didn't have any toilet paper rolls. Plus, if we got caught by the old guy, we knew we'd be plenty dead. We moved on down the street for more Trick or Treating. Tommy threw his rocks at a garbage can, and a bunch of porch lights came on. We had to run away again.

Things were going good, except Tommy's complaining, until we got closer to Goliday's Woods. We had to cross over the vacant lot between the street and the woods. And it was DARK. We got half way across, and something bonked off Fish's turtle back garbage lid. We stopped, and looked around. All of a sudden, a BUNCH of apples came flying at us from the woods. We couldn't see them in the dark, but they hurt, and smelled bad. It had to be Jimmy McDimmit and his friends. They were hitting us with rotten crabapples, and yelling like crazy banshees from the bushes. Cussing at us and telling us to hand over our candy.

We tried to run, but it was hard to see in our costumes in the dark. An apple hit Tommy on the fish bowl, and knocked him over. We helped him up, and ran to the edge of Dingman's Abandoned Orchard. Tommy had trouble running full speed in his leg cans. Fish couldn't run fast either. In the orchard, we started firing apples back, and Fish started cussing a blue streak in their direction in the dark. He couldn't throw worth a darn, but he sure could keep up a string of words for a long time. I think even Jimmy and his tough friends were impressed. Which gave us time to escape.

We cut through the edge of the woods, and ended up in Fish's back yard by his Dad's homemade concrete-block cooking thing. Next to the swing set. We hid behind the wall. To catch our breath, and make sure McDimmit and his friends weren't on our trail. Tommy was bent over, sweating like a horse, breathing hard. “I lost my space helmet.” We couldn't believe it. “How'd you do THAT?” Then we looked at Fish. His pillow and garbage can lid were all wonky. We helped tie him back together. Tommy stood up, “I gotta go back and find my helmet.” Fish looked scared, “Are you NUTS?! You want to go back out there, in the dark. They'll tie you to a tree.”

Tommy wouldn't give up. The only way to make him happy was to wait awhile, then sneak back to look for it. “I think I lost it under the walnut tree, by the old log fort.” We waited, then snuck out to look. We found it right away, and cheesed it back to Fish's house.

On the way back, we talked about our crab-apple fight. Griz said we were lucky. “I visited my cousin Belt on the farm in Kansas last summer. He has a bunch of nutty kids in his farm neighborhood too. We got into a HEDGE APPLE fight with them. Talk about hard ammo!” Tommy asked what kind of apples grow in hedges in Kansas. Fish said it had nothing to do with hedges, but was a big kind of fruit from a tree. Called an Osage Orange, or Hedge Apple. I'd never heard of them either.

Griz said his cousin just called it a Bodark, and that they were bright green and bumpy, are REALLY heavy, and the size of a huge softball. And full of sticky, white goo. "When they hit you, it knocks the wind out of you, and you get all covered with white sappy stuff." We all agreed--it was sure good we weren't Trick or Treating in Kansas. All we have here is rotten crab-apple wars.

I finally got home after nine o'clock, and Mom and Dad were still up. They asked if I had fun, and I said it was OK, and ran up to my room. But what a Halloween!! I ate about six candy bars, some soda straws, a popcorn ball, and drank three wax pop bottles before going to bed. I think I have a stomach ache now. I don't really feel very sleepy either. But what a Halloween! I wonder if we can go out again TOMORROW night?

Good Night, Journal

~ FINTO ~

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Thanks for stopping in and viewing Story II - from Tommy and The Boys. [Story I: The End Of The World As We Know It]. If you have any thoughts about Halloween, Trick or Treating, getting apples instead of candy, or anything else this post reminds you of, please feel free to comment away in the spaces below. I'd love to hear from you.

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And go to @ddschteinn -- There's a whole lot more...

_{Posted: 10/31/2018 @ 08:42}

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Excerpts From Late-Night Conversations With A Mechanical Cat

Fact Number 98