The masks we wear each day

in #thoughts5 years ago (edited)

If you're reading this in the privacy of your own home, chances are you're not wearing any mask at the moment. However, for most of our time we need to cover our true selves with one or more masks.
Psychology experts define masks as one of the many coping mechanisms we need to deal with the stress and the pain in our lives.
Whether you need to hide your feelings or your thoughts, you put on the mask you're expected to use on the various social situations that make up our every day. The others wear their own masks turning most social gatherings in unacknowledged masquerades.


There are many reasons we feel the need to cover our naked souls.

Acceptance

All human beings need to be liked and accepted in various social groups, this platform included. We want to be popular among classmates or co-workers, we need our boss to like us, we even feel the need to disguise our inner selves from friends and family. You simply cannot drag yourself to work and let it show that you're bored, tired of doing the same thing every day, annoyed by the lack of competence you see all around you. The mask you put on is sometimes referred to as the pleaser. Happy, full of solicitude, enthusiastic, confident.
Some people are so well trained in this art that they feel the need to put this public persona on even if they are not in the same room with, say, the boss. Have you ever witnessed someone answering a work-related call? It is not just the tone of the voice that changes the minute they pick up the phone, but the face, too. They tend to smile happily when they speak to someone whose approval they need even if the said person is miles away.



Hiding your insecurities

Few people can be made to admit to their own insecurities. Maybe you don't feel up to a job and fear people will find out your a fraud. Maybe you have low self-esteem and fear your partner will see you for what you really are. You cover your insecurities with the mask of power, you pretend to be confident, your mask won't let any of your inner worries show. You put on the macho man persona when you fear your girlfriend might find you lacking, for instance.
Strangely, it is one of the masks parents don't generally dare to take off except when they go to bed. You cannot let your children know that in a certain situation you have no idea what you need to do. The parents need to stay strong no matter what, so the children can feel secure and protected at all times.
Personal protection
Imagine you need to go through a difficult meeting, be it professional or personal, that has the potential to irritate you or hurt your feelings. You don't want the other to discover your weakness, so you put on your best poker face, let nothing show even if your seething on the inside.

Don't let the mask take over

As coping mechanisms, masks are generally a positive thing as they help us go through a potentially difficult situation. However, experts warn that the longer you wear a mask the higher the chances that you forget who you really are. You grow so accustomed to being liked or accepted in your masquerade costume, that you are afraid to take it off and face your real self. It's like that moment you take off your make-up and uncover the wrinkles and blemishes beneath it.
Ideally, you should avoid being in social situations where you need to be someone else, but this is next to impossible.
Maybe true happiness is finding someone in whose presence you feel confident to be your true self, which is higly doubtful. When I was very young I once stumbled upon a quote about the impossibility of truly knowing even the person closest to you. That was before the age of the Internet and I remember writing it down in a notebook. If it's not exactly this, it is very close at least.

“She realized for the first time that two people can never reach each others deepest feelings and instincts, that they spend their lives side by side, linked it may be, but not mingled, and that each one's inmost being must go through life eternally alone.”
― Guy de Maupassant, A Woman's Life and Other Stories

No matter what you think of this post, now would be a good time to put on your nice Steemian mask and say how much you loved it!

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Hmmm.. now I know why I'm not liked...I don't like to put a mask on..:)
I lost alot in life because of that,but it's the only way I can live with myself.

Posted using Partiko Android

I wonder what the term 'true self' truly means. I believe we're just a conflagration of masks.. Selecting which is convenient at any given moment

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