From my daughter's bedside: standing guard
Everyone has reasons they do what they do with some being valid while others are excuses or justifications. I don't think there is anyone in this world who would completely accept that they are a bad person but I do think we might overestimate our good.
The good and bad I speak of here are from personal perspective, not some greater meaning or universal moral view. I think that we all suffer a blindness of sorts where we over-emphasise perceived harms against us while diminishing the benefits we receive. A loss carries twice the weight of a gain.
We do the reverse however when we evaluate our own actions and diminish the harms we cause and embellish the benefits we provide. I remember reading a study about work spilt between two people and when asked, each believed they did more work than the other. It is similar when most people believe they are an above average driver or, above average in bed.
I think that this also indicates why some people believe they are owed more than others, why they were the ones who deserved the promotion, not their colleague. It must be favouritism. It is hard (perhaps impossible) to be objective when we ourselves are the subject and we are by default invested on the outcome. The ego protects itself in often subtle ways.
Nearly every parent thinks they do right by their child no matter what they actually do. Nearly every partner thinks they treat their significant other well. Nearly every one believes that the work they perform is worth more than it receives. No wonder inflation is an issue.
It is difficult to take that step back, find perspective, find our good, recognise our bad and discover our ugly, but perhaps just the process of trying in earnest is a large shift in the right direction. Earnest means an honest attempt, and if we can't be honest with ourselves should we really expect honesty from others?
All they can ever provide is the truth as they know it, it doesn't make it correct.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
(posted from phone)
We are not a good judge of ourselves. True. We offer a biased perspective and may be pansies at taking fault or blame. we cannot see the big picture from our perspective. Human nature. But that does not justify it. We could certainly do better. Thanks @tarazkp
I think human nature is that we can change our own habits to at least some degree, that we are not bound solely by our born nature.
I don’t like to compare who does what better whereas I try to give my best effort to do my best. Particularly in Parenting, I know I can spend more time studying every night or allowing less screen time but I am doing my best for her to become a good person and best happy with her future. As the world for these kids gets more competitive, I feel it adds unduly pressure to become what the world really doesn’t need more of...
This is something parents need to think more on as the world changes faster than the past. What was vital for us might not be useful in 30 years at all.
Right on. Your perspective has so much to do with how you perceive situations. When it comes to introspection, few can drop their guard enough to really take a good look at their behavior. Besides, then we have the old defense mechanisms jump in, denial, projection, and what do you have? I will tell you what you usually end up with, a self centered, boastful, always right kind of person. It all starts at home. A humble race we are not, that is not an inherited condition. Good people need nuturing right from the get go. That is why, I have stated in the past, parenting is the toughest job there is if done correctly. Even under those nurturing conditions, evil still finds a way to tempt the soul.
I think that the largest issue facing parenting today is complacency. When it comes to evil, as they say, idle hands.
Objectivity is not seen everywhere, and that is difficult to accept, people likewise believe that they are objective even if they are not. I think that is in the nature of the human being ...
If one understands their lack of objectivity, it is possible to temper opinion and allow for it.
Yes, on some occasions.
If you can't be true with your self what chance do you have in life.
A life of fear and victimhood.
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